Sick of the BS

meanmaryjean, DNP, RN · Apr 16, 2017

OP: Using 'nurse' as part of your username when you are not is a violation of the AN TOS.

allnurses Guide · Apr 17, 2017

The medical field is a surprisingly small world even in major cities. I would suggest you find a way to settle down in the competitive, arrogance, achievement oriented department. Keep your grades to yourself. Extend an olive branch by caring about the other students and their lives, not their grades or achievements. Get to know them as people. The truth is, if all of you graduate and pass NCLEX you may be bumping into these people at random throughout your career and what they have to say about you could come back to bite you even years later.

Be the kind of person you would want to know. You can't control the actions of others, but the way we control our own actions often determines how others behave toward us. When that many people have a problem with you, the common denominator is you. School is about getting an education and part of that education when it comes to nursing is learning how to function within a team, which is a key part of what we do.

Best of luck. Be nice.

Wuzzie · Apr 17, 2017

Hello all,
Well, I got a 4.0 last semester and some people thought that I was "bragging" about my grades although I offered several times to help them study.

-Did they ask you for help or did you just offer? Just offering will come across as smug.

I answer questions from the instructors then they get accused of "just teaching to me"
-Are you letting anyone else in the class answer even if it takes some time?
I have never seen grown adults act like this.
If your class is mostly recent HS graduates then you really aren't grown adults, yet.
It was so bad that I had to go to the director of the program and ask if I had done something wrong.. I have said something to every instructor and including the director but is this not bullying?
-Now you have pegged yourself as the class tattletale
I have to think that something else plays a part when I am the only Hispanic in my cohort.
-Seriously...you really went there?
.I feel like I am very intelligent and know my stuff when it comes to nursing but I DO NOT know it all
-You're a SECOND semester nursing student...you know nothing.

Frankly, from what we've read here it's pretty easy to figure out what has happened. Although none of us at all condone the "mean girl" behavior you have really stepped in it. All you can do now is keep your head down and don't discuss grades, achievement or anything else of that genre. Hopefully you can mend fences so the rest of your time in school isn't miserable. Word of warning, coming off as a know-it-all as a new nurse will result in similar ostracizing. I'm sorry you are going through this. Sometimes life hands us hard lessons.

Mkakids · Apr 20, 2017

Honestly, everything about your post makes me think you are an immature, pompous individual with a "victim" mentality.

Hello all,
I need to vent and see if this is happening other places as well..I am almost done nursing school and the start of the program went great, I thought my class would bond and be a group but going into semester 2, the tables turned. How? Well, I got a 4.0 last semester and some people thought that I was "bragging" about my grades although I offered several times to help them study.
Its great that you got a 4.0 in your first semester, it really is! Did the other students ask for your help or for study tips? Or did you just offer to help/tutor them unsolicited? Offering without them asking for that type of help can be interpreted as you behaving smugly or that you believe you are "better" than they are. I can definitely see where an unsolicited offer of tutoring could be offensive and rude (even if you did not intend for it to be that way).
I answer questions from the instructors then they get accused of "just teaching to me"..it is now to the point where I speak to maybe 5 or 6 people in my class..and when I say speak I mean, "Good morning" and thats it. Myself and another girl literally sat in a row in class that used to be full now by ourselves. Now, because this girl is nice to me and we study together, the class is being mean to her! I have never seen grown adults act like this.
Mean in what way? I have a hard time with the description "mean" as it can be very personal. What I feel is mean and uncalled for, you may think is normal.
It was so bad that I had to go to the director of the program and ask if I had done something wrong...I've gotten to the point where I don't even speak or converse with anyone but to a minimum because there have been so many rumors and just plain outright mean and nasty things said about me that just are not true. I have said something to every instructor and including the director but is this not bullying?
Going to the professor/director, without a *serious* complaint, will only ostracize you further. Work on the relationships directly with the other people involved before you run to tattle. Not being liked/being ostracized or someone being "mean" is not a serious enough of an issue to bring to a director.
I have to think that something else plays a part when I am the only Hispanic in my cohort..
Bringing race up is ridiculous, unless you have conclusive proof that everyone, besides you, in your cohort is racist. Its much more likely that they are responding poorly to your personality or past behavior, than to the fact that you are Hispanic.
I feel like I am very intelligent and know my stuff when it comes to nursing but I DO NOT know it all and thats why I want to be an RN but how do I bridge this gap that seems like it was burnt long ago?
I feel like I should not apologize to anyone since.I have done nothing but be intelligent and get As on tests
This statement right here is VERY telling to me, regarding your attitude. It screams "it's all THEIR fault"...."they're just out to get me"...."I'm better than they are and can't be the one at fault"....immature, pompous, victim mentality!
...any advice would be great.
Honestly, all you can do now is to keep your head down. Be polite and try to make amends. You don't have to kiss @ss or anything, but be conscious of how people interpret what you say and do. Don't go running to your professors/director, unless the offense is completely intolerable...work it out among yourselves or ignore it. Try to learn better social skills, or utilize your EQ more effectively. Don't get wrapped up in the drama. If something happens that you don't like, just ignore it and move on. They wont study with you? Who cares? No one talks to you? Again - who cares? All that ultimately matters is that you learn the most that you can in your remaining time in school.

bgxyrnf, MSN, RN · Apr 21, 2017

You had me right up until you decided that it was a racial thing...

MiladyMalarkey, ASN, BSN · Apr 22, 2017

You're learning valuable life lessons. Not everyone will like you & other people can be difficult to work with. Sometimes personalities clash, other times it's them & sometimes it'll actually be you who is being the difficult one. Yet you'll still have to get your job done, personality conflict or not.

Also, speaking as a Hispanic woman myself, you are gonna have people (maybe a patient one day) who won't like you because you're "browner" than they are or even not brown enough. You'll still have to care for them. Just please don't be casual or careless about throwing out the "race" card. Your comment about them "maybe" not liking you because your Hispanic comes off as irresponsible based on what you told us. When you get into the working world accusing a colleague of being racist/discriminatory is a serious allegation & if not legitimate works to discredit you & those of us who actually are experiencing it. Please don't discredit others who really are experiencing discrimination.

Learn from this experience.

Helluvanurse33 · Apr 23, 2017

Wow..your comment is mind blowing.."I see a pattern of why people don't like you?" I stated in my post that I have offered my help on several occasions when it was asked of me so how is that arrogant? Arrogance in my opinion would be saying, " I am better than you because I got a 4.0" but my feeling is I want to HELP them get the same grades..

Helluvanurse33 · Apr 23, 2017

OP: Using 'nurse' as part of your username when you are not is a violation of the AN TOS.

I am licensed in two states as an LPN but thanks for the information!

DoingTheThing · Apr 23, 2017

I would have thought so too but no..we had a group project and one of the members of our group can't STAND me. He won't even look at me when I talk so obviously our project got the lowest grade in the class...I was so upset..it's all because no one talked to each other and assumed that I would just do it all and when I didnt thats when the passive aggressive bs happened...

Then that is what you should be looking at. Not that the whole class is racist or hates you for you grades (although I will say that I can't stand the grade tellers and askers. Us fellow students aren't proud of you like you parents are.). It sounds like something went down in that group project for whatever reason. Maybe you accidentally insulted someone. Maybe you gave the impression that you'd do something and then you didn't do it. But if you have a specific point in time where things went south, something happened.

AngelKissed857, BSN, RN · Apr 23, 2017

Your grades are your business, and sharing them makes people feel they aren't good enough. Grades don't make the nurse, they just get you through your program, keep them to yourself. Drama queens are everywhere, and never seem to grow out of it, avoid them. If you come through the program with one or two good friends, yay for you! If you come out without any enemies, that's even better! Be nice, play well with others, share APPROPRIATELY, graduate, be worlds most awesome nurse. That's more than enough for anyone.

caliotter3 · Apr 23, 2017

Nobody ever would have found out if I had a 4.0 GPA once in the nursing program. Then I wouldn't have your complaint at the end. But then, I wouldn't anyway, as my focus was different. Agree, middle school concerns need to be left in middle school.

LovingLife123 · Apr 23, 2017

OP, I hope you take some things away from this. There is a way to be intelligent without showing off how intelligent you are. It's good to be smart, it's not good to shove your intelligence in others faces. Maybe others don't want your help to be honest.

When I was doing my prereqs, I took a psychology class. We had a huge paper to do which was worth almost 30% of our grade. I got a perfect score on that paper. My professor announced to the class one person received a perfect score and she had only ever awarded a perfect score one other time. Guess what? I didn't tell a soul in my class that I got that. I didn't ask anyone else's grades and nobody asked mine. I didn't offer to tutor anyone on APA format or how to write a paper.

I was darn proud of that paper. My family and close friends were proud, but I didn't tell my class.

Some people are going to struggle. Everybody is different. And just because they are struggling, they don't need your help or you telling them how well you are doing. It's ok to let them be.

Focus on you. You don't need to make best friends on your class. Graduate and pass NCLEX, that's your goal.