The Real Brian Short - Words from a Friend

[allnurses Admin Team]

Many of you are confused about the tragic events of last week...even those who knew Brian. Here are some thoughts and reflections from a friend of Brian's who knew him well.

Thursday afternoon, I got a message from a friend in Minneapolis, a former member of the mastermind group I run for online entrepreneurs. Randy, did you see this?” — and a link to a newspaper article.

Then my eyes landed on the name of the dead family's father: Brian Short. It felt like I had just been kicked in the chest by a horse: Brian was a good friend of ours —

It exploded into national news, and even overseas, a cautionary tale that even rich people” face tragedy (a lot was made of their $2 million lakefront home”).

I knew Brian wasn't capable of doing such a thing, adding confusion to the shock and sadness.

I had spent a lot of time with Brian: in my group we take time to actually connect, in person, even though we're online entrepreneurs. We understand the value of presence — actual human connection — and get technology out of the way and talk in a room together. Brian came to most of the conferences, learned a lot about how to make his business grow, and generously gave back year after year. He was a big teddy-bear kind of guy; the women in the group described him as sweet” — and he was. A gentle and caring man who always had a smile, was truly modest about his business achievements, and still had the helping attitude of his first profession.

By Friday police had confirmed Brian did it. Yet I knew that was impossible. Even if he was despondent enough to commit suicide, there's no way he would harm his family. My theory (yet to be confirmed) is that he had some sort of bad reaction to the antidepressants; some are well known to cause suicidal thoughts, especially in the early stages of treatment. Doctors are supposed to monitor patients closely early on. This was a tragic enough case: it would be even more tragic if the medical profession he belonged to failed him, giving him drugs that altered his mind so much that he truly was a different person.

If I was to rank everyone I know from most likely to kill their family to least, Brian would have been way in the back. In all the time we spent together, I never even saw him angry, or raise his voice. Privileged” rich guy? Hardly. We were very poor growing up,” he once told me. I lived in the ghetto on the north side of Milwaukee.

why do the online commenters on such news articles lash out so viciously? They assume evil” or privileged” when the reality is, he was a kind and humble man. I think the commenters are angry.

Because when you either don't understand the back story, or understand it so well that you know Brian wasn't evil or a money-hungry privileged bastard, you have to admit something to yourself: if a guy that sweet, humble, generous, and kind could murder his entire family, then anyone can. That idea scares people, and they don't like the fear so they lash out in blind anger. Antidepressants are given out like candy in this country, yet they can have terrible side-effects. We all ask ourselves, could this happen to me? And if you knew Brian, you have to admit it: yes. Yes it could. Especially since few of us are as sweet and gentle as Brian was.

My deputy coroner wife says it takes 6-8 weeks to get a full blood toxicology report back, which might give some answers. Long before then, the haters will have moved on to some other imagined outrage, and will have forgotten this one.

Many of you have made up your minds to hate Brian Short for what he did. Yes it was a horrible and violent act which none of us on this site condone. But before you make your judgements, read this article to discover more about the real Brian Short.

Two Good Friends

If you considered Brian your friend, please feel free to share your comments and reflections.

[Emergent, RN]

Thanks for posting this. I didn't know Brian, but obviously something went haywire in his mind to cause this.

I hope people here can continue to be supportive with their comments.

[AJJKRN]

I for one am still in awe and there's honestly not enough truthful information out there about the trajedy that happened for me to just make up my mind one way or another about a person that is no longer with us to be able to defend themselves or enlighten us with what really happened. What I do know is that this site provides may of us with an outlet that we may have not had if not for it's designer, and this information I feel pretty solid on in being true, so thank you Brian for my experiences on AN!

[NotReady4PrimeTime, RN]

The way Randy Cassingham describes Brian is the Brian I knew and loved. There is no part of my mind that could put any of the pieces of this tragedy together in any coherent form; Randy has provided the missing part that allows me to make sense of it for now. Brian was smart, hard-working, confident, gregarious, cheerful, funny, accepting, self-deprecating, generous to a fault, kind and loving. I choose to remember him as I knew him. Whatever demons were driving him, they've been vanquished. Keep a seat warm for me, Brian... farewell -not goodbye.

[BCgradnurse, MSN, RN, NP]

Thank you for posting this. No one knows what goes on in the mind of another, or what kind of pain someone is facing. While I condemn the act, I cannot hate the person. He created something wonderful with Allnurses and that is how I choose to remember him. I hope he is at peace.

[Jules A, MSN]

We don't have any answers now and might not ever get any answers. I have decided to make no judgments either way at this time except to agree that it is a tragedy.

[joanna73, BSN, RN]

Thank you for sharing this article. I have reviewed this and wondered why? Murder/suicide does not fit with Brian's character.

[allnurses Admin Team]

Please note that some posts have been either edited or removed.

Please do not make this a mental health discussion.

"If you considered Brian your friend, please feel free to share your comments and reflections."

Thank you.

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

The way Randy Cassingham describes Brian is the Brian I knew and loved. There is no part of my mind that could put any of the pieces of this tragedy together in any coherent form; Randy has provided the missing part that allows me to make sense of it for now. Brian was smart, hard-working, confident, gregarious, cheerful, funny, accepting, self-deprecating, generous to a fault, kind and loving. I choose to remember him as I knew him. Whatever demons were driving him, they've been vanquished. Keep a seat warm for me, Brian... farewell -not goodbye.

Ditto!

Randy Cassingham and Not Ready4Prime Time captured the essence of the Brian that I knew. Brian would have been the LAST person on my list of friends/family who I would have thought capable of causing a death- yet alone 5 spirits crushed before their full potential reached. May allnurses light never dim as testament to his vision.

[nursel56]

I've pretty much just observed how Brian conceived of and grew this place to what it is today. I've seen that he learned to be very creative and forward thinking with this site, with he and Joe V adding fresh content and graphics, the cartoon features and other ways of developing a successful entrepreneurial venture, along with some very talented help as mentioned.

A few weeks ago I got a "like" from Brian which didn't happen very often in the middle of an otherwise very common thread topic. It made me feel happy, and that is where I choose to leave it.

[klone, MSN, RN]

This is where I admit that it was just a few months ago that I realized that Brian and Joe were not the same person.

[OrganizedChaos, LVN]

This is where I admit that it was just a few months ago that I realized that Brian and Joe were not the same person.

So it wasn't just me! lol. Thank you!