Is my husband being unreasonable? - page 4

by Nurse ABC 8,409 Views | 67 Comments

I currently work a med-surg position that is 12 hour days with no weekends. We all know how hard and challenging med-surg is and I have no great love for it. In fact when my required six months is up I'm looking to change to a... Read More


  1. 0
    You know your kids. And not all teenagers will spend the evening doing their homework and acting responsiby.
    Plenty will, but not all of them.
    If that is the case, and you need peace of mind so you can focus on your work and not worry about what the kids are up to.
    Is there a way you can work in some flexible prn childcare for the times when you both have to work nights? Maybe a college student can stay over and supervise, maybe a retired neighbor who would be willing to work occasional nights, or try some of your local stay-at-home moms would like the chance to earn a little money.
  2. 2
    I don't think it unreasonable that a cop would be paranoid about leaving the kids alone even at that age. Just think about the things he sees and hears about..........
    GeneralJinjur and imintrouble like this.
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    May I ask what it is exactly that you hate about your particular floor? I work on a cardiac step-down unit, that is extremely busy, the busiest floor in the hospital by far! We also get med-surg over flow. I wanted to quit so bad when I started, even at the 6 month mark. I'm so glad I stuck it out on this floor, I have learned sooooo much, I have learned to love my job very much. I have been there almost a year and a half. I'm not saying that you will automatically love your job, but I know it does get better. Believe me, I use to go home crying, I'd be in my managers office at least once a week it seemed. Also, you work 3-12's with every weekend off, that's an awesome schedule, good luck trying to find that elsewhere. Have you ever worked nights? I just came off working nights for 6 months, now I'm 3-12's on days. I personally hated night, HATED THEM! I also agree with some other posters, I for one would not leave my kids alone at night, but that's just me. They are 14 and 15 and quite responsible, however, they are still teenagers, if you know what I mean. If something ever happened to them, you'd never forgive yourself, now this is just my opinion. Good luck in your adventure, I hope you find the perfect job, and when you do let me know because I feel it doesn't exist. I do love my job, but it is far from perfect. Just saying the grass isn't always greener on the other side of the fence, so to speak. I plan on becoming a nurse practitioner, so eventually I will be moving on, but for now I have learned so much, and I still have so much more to learn. May I also ask, which type of floor you will be transferring to? I hope you aren't seeing my post as negative, it isn't meant to be that way, just playing a little devil's advocate with you. I really wish you the best.
    Last edit by cardiacrocks on Nov 1, '12
  4. 0
    Maybe your husband have been witnessing lots of crime lately and is being paranoid or protective?
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    I started babysitting at the age of 12 not over night but late hours for my moms friends who were also nurses. My mom being a nurse as well, PICU nurse to be exact worked the 11-7a shift. Twelve hour shifts were not as popular back then but point is I was home alone as far back as maybe 11 years old. Of course I had a long list of phone numbers that I could call in case of an emergency. My dad worked overseas so he wasn't around. Maybe you can start paying your 18 yr old for baby sitting over night, no 18 yr old would not mind having extra cash in their pockets.
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    I would be hesitant to do it just because night shift can be really rough on you. Have you ever worked nights? Some people adjust well to them, but many others don't. My health really suffered when I worked nights. You have a schedule that most nurses would kill to have. In my hospital, day shift was by seniority. The day you started working, your name went on the fabled List. Everyone knew where they fell on the list, and when a spot on days finally came open, #1 on the list got to go to dayshift. I'm just trying to say that you may be exchanging one set of miseries for others. What if you are one of those that cannot sleep during the day? Google the health effects of shift work, and see what all comes up. Night shift puts you at higher risk for heart disease, obesity, diabetes, not to mention sleep disorders.
    cardiacrocks likes this.
  7. 5
    Quote from Ruby Vee
    YOU owe your employer a year. At the very least.
    I disagree. Employers don't ever feel like they "owe" their employees anything when they've determined that the employee is no longer valuable to the company. Why should it go one way. As long as she gives proper notice (which I consider 4 weeks in nursing), she doesn't "owe" them, any more than they "owe" her.
    VanLpn, MedChica, cp1024, and 2 others like this.
  8. 1
    As to the OP, if it were every night, I'd say no. But you'll be working 2 shifts a week, and only some of them will be at the same time as your husband. It's reasonable to think that at least half the time, one of you will be home. So we're probably talking more like 4 nights a month where the kids will be alone. I don't htink that's unreasonable at all.
    nrsang97 likes this.
  9. 1
    he may not be unreasonable, but does he have a solution other than YOU changing jobs, etc? It is a problem for both of you. I think an adult, even if paid, would be an asset just to make adult decisions or be there when the 18 y/o cannot. There are retired people (maybe from church?) who might be interested.
    wooh likes this.
  10. 0
    Personally I would have no problem leaving an 18, 14 and 11 year old overnight twice a week. Every night - no. Twice a week - no problem


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