Is There Something Wrong With ME????

  1. You all probably don't remember this, but I was terminated from school back in May for failing the foley check-off. Well I went back July 9th. Today I was terminated for good for failing to wear gloves at clinicals with a patient who has chronic UTIs. Of course I know you're suppose to wear gloves!!! But stupid me touches the clamp on the catheter bag gloveless with 2 of my instructors standing there! How dumb can ya get????
    What the f#&% is wrong with me????? In April I turned a patient with herpes without wearing gloves. Listen, I'm a very intelligent woman but why am I soooooooooo damn DUMB??????? What now? I'm no spring chicken.
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  2. 40 Comments

  3. by   SmilingBluEyes
    It sounds like an incredible case of nerves. Honey, you are caught up in a cycle of nervousness and making errors due to this, I think. You are NOT STUPID!!! STOP berating yourself. I really believe that is the problem.

    Is there ANY chance you can go to a different school or seek different training? I had friends who had serious trouble at the school I graduated; yet did BEAUTIFULLY in another school and came out excellent nurses. Maybe this would work for you. Do you have all your RN prerequisite classes done? If not, take them...give yourself time and distance and try again. You sound to me like you truly want to be a NURSE! Keep trying. Maybe, even, LPN training. LPN's are "real nurses too" and maybe later on, you could pursue your RN. I am just trying to brainstorm solutions here. I am so sorry about all this. It sounds to me as if you are likely conscientious but just need a bit of time and space. I wish you well, friend. Don't be so hard on yourself.
  4. by   researchrabbit
    Stress has different effects on different people. When I was in school I was constantly dropping things, to the point where I finally saw my MD about it (I would even sometimes re-drop things as soon as I picked them up again). She sent me for an EMG (you get needles stuck in your arm while an electric current runs through them, no fun). The tests were inconclusive, which caused me MORE worry. Now that I am out of school I rarely drop things.

    My guess is that you were so stressed out by school, probably compounded by failing your foley checkoff, that stress clouded your brain and brain fogs just took over.

    The whole brain fog thing can be helped a lot by becoming a list maker. If you choose to try school again, I'd suggest a list of the basic things that you tend to forget while focussing on the big things that you are worried about. You should review your list prior to your clinical day and again before entering each patient's room (I have been known to write things that I tend to forget ON MY HAND so I can't forget the list. As some of my favorite MDs do this too, I am in good companY).

    If you still want to be a nurse, my suggestion is to work for a while as a CNA. This might get you in the habit of keeping sterile and keeping yourself and patients safe. THEN you might either try RN again, or try LPN.

    Don't worry about your age, either. You'll accrue years whether you pursue school or not!
  5. by   BadBird
    You remind me of one of my good friends that I went to nursing school with, she was in her 50's very smart, could memorize the book verbatim but when it came to tests she froze. I talked to one of our instructors on her behalf, they decided to see for themselves and told her they would quiz her, she verbally answered all the questions correctly with rationale, they gave her the written test and she failed! My friend went to the Dr. who put her on xanax and it did help, she did not graduate with me but struggled through and graduated a year later, I was so proud of her, she is a great nurse. Hang in there and good luck.
  6. by   NICURNtobe
    Thanks guys for your kind words. I was in the LPN program. I want to eventually be an RN - doesn't look like I'm getting nowhere fast - huh? My instructor said I don't have a clue about infection control and the disease process..... BULLCRAP!!!
  7. by   NICURNtobe
    what I meant to say was I'm getting nowhere fast!!!
  8. by   l.rae
    Betablockers work wonders for stage-fright type stress...l know that first hand...and without risk of narcotic addiction...they reduce stress and migraine h/a too!...l went thru nursing school w/ a friend who swore l did well on tests cause l took a beta blocker....can't give it all the credit...but l swear by them...LR
  9. by   cargal
    I , too, experienced some things in nursing school and then when working in the hospital. I felt like I could'nt grasp the whole picture and sometimes my brain was a fog, but I could study and get 100% on a test. My self esteem as a nurse sucked. I repeatedly asked for my thyroid to be tested , and it was normal 2-4 times before it showed up as hypothyroid. The difference when I started synthroid was amazing. I can feel the sluggish thinking when I am low and need increased. Recently started on Thyralor, because although my levels were normal, I was feeling like crap, esp in the brain dept. Feeling much better now, and my performance is improving. Gotta keep up on it. Think about getting tested1
  10. by   P_RN
    the first injection i ever gave was to a frog in physiology lab. i drew up the solution carefully and then proceded to stick the needle into the professor's thumb! he was not happy.
    but i apologised (profusely) and this past aug 17th i will have been an rn for 28 years. stress stinks. talk with your school's admission's office. perhaps they could suggest some classes on technique?
  11. by   Flo1216
    Wait a second...they kicked you out of school for THAT? You are a student...don't they expect you to make mistakes? That's how you learn. Can you imagine how many stupid mistakes medical students or first year residents have made? If I had gone to your school I would have gotten kicked out the first day. I think you need to go to a new school. It seems as though your program thrives on making the student a nervous wreck. How can you learn that way? There is NOTHING wrong with you. You are a beginner and you are human. I once had to give an IM of morphine and my instructor made me do calculations on the spot and I got so nervous I couln't think and actually started to cry. I think you should go somewhere else.
  12. by   Stargazer
    I'm with Flo and the others who think you should consider changing schools. The first nursing program I went to was a self-acknowledged "weed-out" program (not acknowledged until AFTER they got your tuition money, naturally!) where the instructors had a very adversarial relationship with the students. The instructors also admitted that they talked about the students and pretty much came to a consensus about them, so if you had a bad experience with one instructor, you were basically screwed.

    I had a horrible, horrible experience with my very first clinical instructor at that school (who was a nutcase who was fired after her first semester of teaching there) and knew I was a marked woman after that. I changed schools and found nothing but support and help in my new program. The difference was like night and day, and I can't tell you how much more relaxed and confident I became when I started getting some positive feedback.

    I think Debbie is right that you are in a self-perpetuating cycle of nervousness and mistakes. Gine yourself a break and start over somewhere fresh. And Flo is absolutely right--students are expected to make mistakes. Do you really want to be the kind of nurse you'd be if you graduated from that program? I wouldn't.

    You can do it. Hang in there.
  13. by   semstr
    Sorry this happened to you. But don't give up! Believe in yourself.
    I've had so many students who were not as gifted with their hands as with their brains (and reverse), but when you want to do it, you can. (hope you don't take offence, it wasn't meant like that, some people are just not very "practical")

    Isn't it possible to go to more skill-labs? So you can do these things as often as possible?

    And the tip with the -blocker is a good one. Had a few students, who used them and did very well.

    Don't give in, you are a student, you're allowed to make mistakes, as long as you notice them and then do the right thing.
    Whenever you're unsure about a procedure, ask an instructor to show you.
    Take care, Renee
  14. by   NICURNtobe
    I mentioned the fact that I'm a student and I'll make mistakes - Well that didn't fly - "You can't make mistakes like that at the expense of the patient! I'm afraid to give you any patients!"

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