I may lose my hubby

Nurses General Nursing

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My husband, who is in the Navy Reserve, came in from drill today with 'new uniforms'.........desert gear.......as in Kuwait......as in being gone for a couple of years!!!!!! OHG, I can't keep the tears away!! I've been a military wife for many, many years. (my ex was a Colonel), but the thought of my 'teddy bear' having to leave is just about to kill me.

I love him more than anything and spending more than a couple of days apart drives both of us nuts!! We've been married for almost 5 years and STILL on our honeymoon....no fights....yet.....;)

ARe there any other military wives out there who may lose their hubby's???? I'm in desperate need of a cyber hug about now....

:o

That's what I love about this board...all the support when someone is scared and hurting. :)

I'm not military and don't know what you're going through.

As I read your post, I cried thinking how you must be feeling today, so I wanted to offer a (((HUG)))

God bless you and your family and I will pray for safety and comfort for you all in this difficult time...and that you find some needed support while your husband is away.

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Specializes in med/surg & geriatrics.

(((HUGS!!!))))

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Big giant hugs to you, Nanna. I totally relate. My husband has been active-duty Air Force for 17 years now....have seen him off many,many times, including this war on terror, as well as the Gulf War. It is never easy. It is time when you must seek support from wherever you can find it; in spouses that are with you in this, family, friends, and yes, boards like this one. My heart goes out to you in this stressful time and I wish you well. Hang in there and PM me anytime you feel you need a friend who can understand exactly how it feels. It never gets easy, but you can cope; you really can!

Oh and Don't bother w/brave fronts for kids or anyone else. They SEE THRU THEM ANYHOW; you have to give them credit. You are HUMAN and are ALLOWED TO EXPRESS your sadness when he's gone...but you are not HOPELESS, either! There are things you can do to fill the lonliness. Make cards for him with the kids...make tape recordings (or mp3's ) of your voices and expressions of love and support for him.....anticipate his return and plan on decorating the house with banners and balloons upon his return. Plan on a big,festive event for his return.......Most importantly, Take good care of your health, heart, and home...and take time and have some fun....if you can....and YOU CAN do it! Be strong, but also you are human.

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Specializes in ER.

His priority, and yours I assume, is country and career, not children and family. I assume you knew the obligations and choices you were making when you married him. Although I don't agree with the choices I respect them, but once the choice is made you can wish for something different or take advantage of the independence, exotic travel etc. If this doesn't work out you and he can make different choices in a few years, but right now, you knew what you were getting into, so why are you crying because they are asking him to do the job he signed up for.

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Specializes in OB.

Canoehead - First of all serving one's country in the armed forces is a way of protecting children and family, not just one's own, but many! Knowing that one's spouse or child has made the right choice does not make their absence any less heartwrenching, and those who support the members of the Armed Services deserve credit for coping at home.

I, for one, am very proud of my son and all the others who have made their choice to serve their country, and stood up for their convictions. This does not in any way lessen the fears I live with now, but I would never ask him not to follow his path because of my fears.

The first thing my son did after finishing basic was to go to NYC to Ground Zero. He told me after that he will hold on to that experience to remind him why he is doing what he is!

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(((Hugs))) to you and your husband. My son will be going into the Marine Corp in June and it makes me proud but scares me so much too. I totally agree with what some have said about seeking out others in the same circumstances for support. And no, you don't always have to keep a stiff upper lip. When my husband was gone to the FBI Academy for 3 months it was very hard on me and my son. It was also a lesson in how much we all take one another for granted when we are together all the time. Absence truely does make the heart grow fonder. Look forward to being reunited. You will be in our prayers.

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Originally posted by ayemmeff

grouphug.gif

That is soooooo cute!
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My son is AD Navy in Bahrain. Let's just pray that they all get to come home in one piece, and alive!

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

just because our choice is to serve does NOT make it easy or make it wrong to CRY when a loved one goes off to war. if you have not been there and dealt with it first hand, seeing a loved one go away, you have no right to say how a person ought to cope with it. if you HAVE been there, then you know how hard it is and how hearing how we should deal with it is NOT helpful. this poster is aware of her commitment as a military spouse; she just needed words of encouragement and i don't think that is a lot to ask.

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Thank you Deb. I totally agree.

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Originally posted by SmilingBluEyes

just because our choice is to serve does NOT make it easy or make it wrong to CRY when a loved one goes off to war. if you have not been there and dealt with it first hand, seeing a loved one go away, you have no right to say how a person ought to cope with it. if you HAVE been there, then you know how hard it is and how hearing how we should deal with it is NOT helpful. this poster is aware of her commitment as a military spouse; she just needed words of encouragement and i don't think that is a lot to ask.

AMEN!!:)

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Specializes in Community Health Nurse.

(((((((((((((NANANURSE))))))))))))):kiss

I know all too well what you are going through, my dear. Hang in there, keep the chin up, prayers going, and keep yourself as active as you can in worthwhile events, tasks...take some classes at college, volunteer to help kids through some things, etc. Just don't sit around bored and having pity parties for yourself. That will do your husband no good knowing you are not handling his deployment well. He needs you to be strong for him, so step up to the plate and carry on soldier's wife. :kiss

I am the wife of a Lifer in the Army (21 years almost). I've been through many separations. When I was married before, that spouse was also military, and I went through many deployments then...even VietNam during our engagement one year before we married.

It's rough at first, then you either let it "make you or break you". It's YOUR choice. Being a military spouse is tough...almost as tough a job as being a parent. ;)

My husband is going overseas....they are all going overseas...in due time...the war is immenent...so brace yourself for the job of being the supportive spouse who is strong for her man, her family, herself.

As the soldiers often say "Suck it up, and move on!" It hurts to hear these most truthful words, but it's what we have to do, NanaNurse.

If you ever need a support system to keep you going while your husband is away, feel free to "PM" me as often as you need to.

You are NOT alone. Many military spouses are Allnurses members...some are even active duty themselves.

Much love and prayers go out to you from my heart,

In His Mighty Grip,

Renee...AKA...Cheerfuldoer:kiss

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