I may lose my hubby

emily_mom · Dec 8, 2002

(((((Nanna)))))

My brother was in the Air Force, and I remember him having to leave his family behind to go to the Gulf War. Do you have any support systems near you? Bonding with other wives like 3rdshift said sounds like an EXCELLENT idea. No one can replace your husband, but being with people that understand can make this time easier to handle.

Kristy

kavi · Dec 8, 2002

I hope that he doesn't get sent away. If he is, I hope he quickly returns in full and robust health, both mentally and physically. I know it won't be easy for you but you'll have our support here too.

tugbird · Dec 8, 2002

Nanna,

I know what you are feeling. I am married to an active duty Marine. We have been married for 4 years and he has been away, usually out of the country, for half of that time on several different "missions." Being a military wife is a very tough job. It's very scary when they leave and you don't know where they are or when they are coming home. When my husband was in Kosovo I hardly had any info about where he was or when he would be back. The Marine Corps is good at keeping the spouses in the dark. I watched CNN all the time just to get any bit of info I could about what was going on over there. Try to keep yourself busy and stay strong. I'll be thinking about you and your family. I hope he doesn't have to be away too long.

Sam

RainbowzLPN, LPN · Dec 8, 2002

((((((((((((Nannanurse)))))))))))

mcruss · Dec 8, 2002

My husband has been in Oman(middle east) for 2 weeks now, and will be gone from 3-6 months. This is our first deployment...We barely survived the one year Korea stint apart. But, I just keep going day to day....I work as an LPN in a Peds clinic for now...until he returns and I can get back to my surgical floor nights position....

It is very difficult for me and the girls....And while AnaClaire's post was beautifully put, I disagree with always wearing a "coat" of strength in front of my children....Obviously for the most part I do, but we allow ourselves to cry about it together when we are missing him terribly.....I grew up watching my mom being the strong military wife while my dad was flying B-52's over Vietnam...Only recently has she shared with me stories of how difficult it really was for her...stories of crazy things she did to get through.......Let's face it, it's a different day and age now...Nowadays most military wives work, and don't have the time or energy to join the wive's club....You just have to make the best of it....

I know I haven't given any really good advice here toyou, but I'm always here if you need me.....

Tricia

nakitamoon · Dec 8, 2002

(((( nannanurse & hubby )))) we aren't military,,,, but hubby works long distance,,,, the separations are never easy,,,, this is my second marriage,,,, really consider it my first and only,,,,, he is my best friend,,,, lover,, confidant,,, i am lost without him here,,,,,

before he took the position,,, we discussed what we thought our potential problems would be,,, making plans on how we would communticate,,,, deal with the absence of each other,,,, it was sooooo much harder when he left,,,,,

use any meathod of communication available to you,,,, no words of advise for you except stay strong,,,, and reaffirm your love everyday,,,,,

happy holidays ~ kitamoon

researchrabbit · Dec 8, 2002

(((((((((((NannaNurse))))))))))))))

Trauma Columnist · Dec 8, 2002

My husband and I have been together 25 years, married 23 and he is retired from the Air Force. Did the separations for up to a year at a time. We married when I was only 21 and active duty Navy myself - how naive could I have been????

We've been through so much together that I can honestly say it made me very much stronger. Now that he is out - he teaches JROTC in a local high school we spend a lot of time together. I really miss the military community closeness.

My husband was a first sergeant and when he was gone, the wives would get together and make sure we were all taken care of. We were overseas a lot (12 years) without family or backup and they became my family under some very stressful situations.

I wish you much luck and prayers and hugs. Also, contact Family Services and the chaplains office - usually they offer a lot for deployed families. If you need info - go directly to his first sergeant or commander.

ayemmeff · Dec 8, 2002

2amigos · Dec 8, 2002

((((((((NannaNurse)))))))

You and your husband have my sympathy. My father was in the Air Force and in the period of three years he was overseas two years. One thing my Mom did, was since he was gone for a year at a time, was once a week, she would send him a card from a deck of cards...when the deck was done, he would be coming home....(52 cards, 52 weeks). We would write on the cards too, it was something that was kind of fun and a great way to count down....

I hope and pray that our Country doesn't need your husband or anyone's husband, son, brother, sister, mother to go to war. I am so grateful for those that do make the sacrifice for our freedom. The family sacrifice is as real as those that are overseas. God bless you and your husband!

Cheryl Moore

kittyw · Dec 8, 2002

(((((((nannanurse))))))) :kiss

BMS4 · Dec 8, 2002

Big {{{Hugs}}} Nanna,

My husband is AD Coast Guard. He's been on ships 15 years out of a 22 year career. We've been married 17 years. I agree with those that encourage you to get involved with the wives clubs. Also, "keeping the home fires burning" and not relaying upsetting news to your husband while he's gone is important. Remember we are all here for you.

Here's a link to Cinchouse. It's a military spouse website. It has great information and a wonderfully supportive discussion forum (one for each service). I'm not a member but I know folks who love the site. :)

http://www.cinchouse.com/index.html

I hope it's okay that I posted this link. Please let me know if it's not allowed. Thanks. :)