baby sleeping in same bed as parents - page 5

Someone who is related to me has a new baby. They mentioned by the way the baby has slept in their bed with them every night for his 8 week old life. I am worried they will accidently crush the baby,... Read More

  1. by   luvmy3kids
    I haven't read any of the other posts yet ( I intend to... I just wanted to give my honest opinion first)... my DH and I slept with our first born from the day she was born until she went to kindergarten. She WOULD NOT sleep any other way. She would sleep all night in our bed or cry all night in her crib. We let her "cry it out" for over 2 hours one night and she still wouldn't quit. She is a very healthy happy 7 year old.

    There are dangers involved... but you can take precautions as well. Do not use drugs or alcohol if your infant is going to be sleeping with you, place a small pillow between you and the baby if you are afraid of rolling over on them... etc. As a new mom, you don't get much sleep anyway (waking every 1-3 hours to feed) so it's very unlikely that you would be in that deep of a sleep to allow something to happen.

    It's also important to have the baby sleeping on their backs on a firm mattress and make sure the baby isn't pushed up against the wall or a crack between the mattress and the wall...

    A baby can die alone in a crib. You just never know. But I don't think that sleeping with a baby is any more dangerous than having them sleep in their crib.
  2. by   DutchgirlRN
    Quote from Arwen_U
    There are a lot of inherent risks in putting your kids in a 1000lb steel death machine and driving to the store or wherever else too, but most of us do it every day. Having your kids in the bed with you seems a lot safer than having them in the car with you.
    That's not even a remotely similar comparison......

    We have to drive unless we want to live as a recluse. Car seats are made to keep the baby as safe as possible. Sure kids die in car wrecks but the vast majority survive when safely buckled into an approved car seat. Adults also die in car wrecks but many more survive when buckled in. We have a choice as to whether or not to sleep with our babies.

    Babies die co-sleeping, Adults don't die co-sleeping.
  3. by   DutchgirlRN
    Quote from stevielynn
    Good Morning - if you look at the link from Dr. Sears, it addresses the above issues and refutes them. (Especially the SIDS stuff).

    And all parents should be educated to make their own choice.

    steph

    Dr. Sears is controversial. I do agree all parents should make their own choice. "My" opinion is that it is dangerous but I'm not the final authority on this subject or any other subject. Just expressing my concerns and opinion.
  4. by   luvmy3kids
    Quote from Pumpkin1621

    About the side sleeping and back sleeping thing, my nurse specifically told me not to put my dd on her side b/c she would roll on her tummy. However, my mother (who was an lpn back in the day) said that she was always told to put babies on their tummy so they wouldn't choke on their vomit. I chose to put dd to sleep on her back. There are so many studies to dispute every aspect of these debates. On baby message boards, threads like this can get really long with heated discussion and debate. I say as long as you put your child first and try your best to keep them out of harms way then so be it. Everyone has their own methods and opinions for raising their children and it is a very personal and touchy subject.
    I was told that the debate about laying a baby on it's stomach to prevent it from choking on it's vomit has been debunked... Apparently if a child were to be lying tummy down and their face turned to the side... any vomit could potentially stay within the oral cavity and block the airflow... However if they are lying on their backs... and vomit... it is most likely that they would cough it out...

    Does that make sense...
    I googled a Q & A about sleeping on the tummy and choking on vomit... here is a piece of it

    Q: Won't my baby choke on spit-up or vomit during sleep if placed on its back?
    A: Many parents place babies on their stomachs to sleep because they think it prevents them from choking on spit-up or vomit during sleep. But studies in countries where there has been a switch from babies sleeping predominantly on their stomachs to sleeping mainly on their backs have not found any evidence of increased incidence of aspiration, pneumonia, choking, or other problems. In addition, the AAP has reviewed all the scientific literature and found that there is no additional risk of choking on vomit when babies sleep on their backs. Experts actually feel that babies are at a higher risk for choking or aspirating when placed on their tummies than they are when placed on their back.

    http://www.firstcandle.org/expectant...reduce_qa.html



    Hope that helps anyone worried about that part of it....
  5. by   luvmy3kids
    Quote from DutchgirlRN
    That's not even a remotely similar comparison......

    We have to drive unless we want to live as a recluse. Car seats are made to keep the baby as safe as possible. Sure kids die in car wrecks but the vast majority survive when safely buckled into an approved car seat. Adults also die in car wrecks but many more survive when buckled in. We have a choice as to whether or not to sleep with our babies.

    Babies die co-sleeping, Adults don't die co-sleeping.

    That's a little harsh don't you think?? We actually don't "have" to drive to live... but we do have to sleep to survive.

    I think parents who are informed and very careful about sleeping with their infant (as careful as you would be buckling them safely in an approved infant carseat) are doing the best they can do to keep them safely asleep by their side.

    In my case as I stated above, my firstborn would not sleep alone in her crib. And if I wanted to sleep, she had to sleep. So she slept with me. And we slept all through the night... only waking to roll over and breastfeed and then back to sleep we went. It was wonderful and I did it safely. I would do it again if I could.

    Babies don't just die co-sleeping. They can also die alone in a crib.

    Just a thought.
  6. by   HeartsOpenWide
    What about suggesting one of those cribs that have a fold down side that can butt right up to the bed, so baby is in arms length but still in his/her own sleeping area?
  7. by   lizzyberry
    My daughter was in her crib for her first 3 months then she slept in the bed with me after that. I would never allow a newborn infant to sleep with me on the bed for fear that the baby would fall off the bed or get smothered. My daughter is 3 almost 4 and still sleeps with me.
  8. by   DutchgirlRN
    Quote from luvmy3kids
    That's a little harsh don't you think?? We actually don't "have" to drive to live... but we do have to sleep to survive.

    Babies don't just die co-sleeping. They can also die alone in a crib.

    Just a thought.
    What is harsh about saying we have to drive? I have to drive. I am a HH nurse. If I don't drive, I don't get a paycheck or medical insurance.

    Everyone knows babies don't just die co-sleeping just as they can and do die alone in their cribs. I repeat that everyone should make their own decision and I have my own opinion. I'm not an authority on the subject but I do have an opinion. Just a thought.
  9. by   KellNY
    Quote from NurseyBaby'05
    However, one concern I do have has not been addressed. What do people do when baby's old enough to start crawling? I'm afraid of him waking up before me/us and launching himself off the bed. I really don't want to be awoken by a thump and scream. I'd like to have him in our bed longer than the first few months, but I don't see how I can.
    Go to the Dr. Sears page. Putting the matress on the floor is a great way to minimize this, as is pushing the bed up against the wall (make *sure* there is no gap between wall and matress--you can actually use one of those hard foam inserts if there is). As many have mentioned, a good "compromise" are those little side car things that sort of attach to your bed.

    I coslept with my son (most nights till he was 2.5, then on and off til he was 3.5) and he has a very good understanding of personal space, boundaries and independence--no issues there. I plan on doing the same with my future kiddies.

    Most babies in a healthy environment don't need their own space at 2, 3, 6mos.

    SAFE cosleeping is no more dangerous than SAFE crib sleeping-in fact it's safer. Saying "We had one mom roll over onto her baby and it died" without the details (-was it a firm matress? Was there thick bedding/pillows? Did mom take even a benedryl that she's too ashamed/scared to fess up to?) is like saying "We had one baby that slept *gasp* in a crib, and the baby strangled itself" without mentioning that the cord for the blinds was left within reach. Babies in cribs have died of hypothermia, have been hurt by the bars of the cribs, have aspirated their own spit up or vomit, have been attacked by insects and animals, etc. All of which have either been the result of an unsafe situation (window left open, baby unsupervised, etc) or crap luck which could have happened to any baby, any where, in any situation. Some even could have been prevented if the baby had been cosleeping

    The key--as others have drivin in--is to sleep SAFELY-whether in a crip or in bed. Make an INFORMED decision.

    Dutch-I think there is some confusion here as to what an opinion is. When someone--an RN--says "Cosleeping is d.a.n.g.e.r.o.u.s." it takes it beyond "That's my opinion!" because that is a statement that should be able to have factual backing behind it.

    I could say "HIV can be cured by having sex with a virgin" and then get offended when people (rightfully) claim that I am wrong. It's not an opinion, it's an incorrect, misinformed statement. (FTR-I didnt make that up-people actually believe that)

    You didn't say "Cosleeping is something I wouldn't feel safe or comfortable doing or endorsing"-that would have been a valid opinion, and I can't imagine anyone giving you any grief over it. You stated something that has been proven wrong and were called on it. Sorry.
  10. by   NurseyBaby'05
    Quote from KellNY
    Go to the Dr. Sears page. Putting the matress on the floor is a great way to minimize this, as is pushing the bed up against the wall (make *sure* there is no gap between wall and matress--you can actually use one of those hard foam inserts if there is). As many have mentioned, a good "compromise" are those little side car things that sort of attach to your bed.

    I have a co-sleeper, but that will do me no good when he starts creeping about. Even if he's against the wall, he could still crawl out via the foot of the bed. I'm not so worried about when he's just rolling over, but more when he's actually mobile. Our bed is pretty low to begin with, so we'll just have to see how things go. I'm thinking he'll be spending more time in his crib at that point. He won't be awake as much through the night as he will as a small infant. I'm flexible. Maybe he'll take after his father and have no sense of adventure, but I'm thinking I'm probably doomed to have one just like me. :imbar
  11. by   justme1972
    Quote from luvmy3kids
    I was told that the debate about laying a baby on it's stomach to prevent it from choking on it's vomit has been debunked... Apparently if a child were to be lying tummy down and their face turned to the side... any vomit could potentially stay within the oral cavity and block the airflow... However if they are lying on their backs... and vomit... it is most likely that they would cough it out...

    Does that make sense...
    I googled a Q & A about sleeping on the tummy and choking on vomit... here is a piece of it

    Q: Won't my baby choke on spit-up or vomit during sleep if placed on its back?
    A: Many parents place babies on their stomachs to sleep because they think it prevents them from choking on spit-up or vomit during sleep. But studies in countries where there has been a switch from babies sleeping predominantly on their stomachs to sleeping mainly on their backs have not found any evidence of increased incidence of aspiration, pneumonia, choking, or other problems. In addition, the AAP has reviewed all the scientific literature and found that there is no additional risk of choking on vomit when babies sleep on their backs. Experts actually feel that babies are at a higher risk for choking or aspirating when placed on their tummies than they are when placed on their back.

    http://www.firstcandle.org/expectant...reduce_qa.html



    Hope that helps anyone worried about that part of it....
    I asked this SAME question when my twins were in the hospital b/c when I was young, it was the tummy, and now, they teach putting them on their backs.

    I'm sure this isn't a "newsflash"...I saw that babies, even fresh newborns, turn their heads when they spit up and it flows out of their mouths.

    I believe that this is a reflex.
  12. by   DutchgirlRN
    Quote from KellNY
    You stated something that has been proven wrong and were called on it. Sorry.
    No, don't be sorry. I haven't been proven wrong. Others agree with my point of view. I haven't been called on anything. Stating that I have been "proven" wrong is a blanket statement and not an opinion. That works two ways.

    Laying a child in a basinette next to the bed is not going to be responsible for a SIDS death no more than sleeping with your child is going to cause a true SIDS death.

    Deaths that occur due to co-sleeping are listed as accidental and are the result of the infant being in the parents bed whether it be due to suffocation, getting trapped between the bed and wall or falling off of the bed. I'm talking about accidental deaths. If a child, God forbid, dies of SIDS the parents are devastated wether or not they were sleeping with the child. SIDS is not listed as an accidental death.
    Last edit by DutchgirlRN on Mar 23, '07
  13. by   crissrn27
    Two things I have to mention, accidental deaths happen in cribs too. blinds to close, ect. The key is to have a safe sleeping enviroment, be it crib or adult bed. I think the majority of posters are following the rules of cosleeping, probably not the case with all cosleepers. Just as all parents that use cribs do not put their babies to sleep safely. I have seen many cribs by open windows, blinds too near, etc. People should have a right to know how to put their babies to sleep safely, in a crib or bed. Second, now I am by no means saying this is common, the back to sleep program has really reduced sids rates, but I have found a couple of babies in the nursery, formula/mucus/breasmilk still in their mouth and had to suction and bag them. Just had to mention that, how many miss being able to do side to sleep?

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