ashamed today - page 2

Hi, this is my first post, but I needed to express my feelings about this somewhere. The reason I'm posting is because I'm ashamed of the behavior of fellow nurses. I work at a very large hospital... Read More

  1. by   slou!
    I have never worked in a hospital yet (pre-nursing student) but I took my friend to the ER a couple of months ago and I saw this. Two student RN's were flirting with the DR who was seeing (I edited this to mention SEEING as in treating my friend, not dating! Gosh I could have just added a lot of drama to this story !) my friend. Then after he left they were giggling and getting really excited that he talked to them and were following him around I mean it was completely harmless and I wasn't offended at all, they can do whatever they want and it doesn't matter to me. It didn't effect any of the patients' care, but I could see other patients being offended by it. It just seemed like a little crush to me, no big deal. I mean I don't know if any of them were married or not since I didn't know them personally, but me or my friend (who was the patient) kind of found it amusing when we were waiting for the DR to come back.
  2. by   rpv_rn
    several years ago, while i was going down the stairway, md and rn were kissing on landing (both married to others). they quickly pulled apart when they saw me. i said a quick 'hi' and kept going down the stairs. i never said anything to any one about this. the md is still at hospital. i have not seen the rn there in a long time.

    if patient care is not affected, then i mind my own business.
  3. by   HairCanada
    Normal human behaviour. Found in some degree at every place of employment. We are social and sexual beings.

    The majority of marriges end in divorce, and the rate of infidelity is just as high I am sure. If they are not trying to get "your" man , then don't worry about it. In short...not your business!!!

    This topic has been discussed before on this site, and some people seem to feel that somehow it affects patient outcomes,..although no definitive study has been done that I am aware of. I personnaly don't care if my cardiologist is sleeping with the nurse, I just care that he is a good cardiologist! And trying to tie morality ,which is very subjective, to ethics and even job performance,..is a long, thin thread!

    However, welcome to the site! This is a great place to express feelings and gain insight into many topics. Good luck with your situation.

  4. by   destiny5
    I agree that it can become uncomfortable--if you let it. Try to ignore it or go find something to do (i'm sure it won't be that hard) when they start up. I don't think complaining will help----especially when it's about GOD (oops-- I mean MD's). It should only take a few minutes because the doctors I know don't spend much time in the nurses station or the patients rooms for that matter:wink2: :wink2:
  5. by   jenrninmi
    Quote from susiegirl
    Hi, this is my first post, but I needed to express my feelings about this somewhere.
    The reason I'm posting is because I'm ashamed of the behavior of fellow nurses. I work at a very large hospital and I know, or know of, so many RN's that had or are having affairs with married MD's. It's sickening to me. Some of these women just don't care that they are destroying a family as long as they get to snag a rich MD. Of course, the MD's are at fault too, but the things these women do to get their attention are shameful. One woman in my department would constantly touch one of the MD's (pretty soon after she started working there), sit next to him and put her feet on his lap or even his shoulder, gave him a wedgie, etc. I always saw her initiating the inappropriate behavior. They ended up having an affair. This is just one example. A lot of nurses come to work-related events, like dinner after a C.E. lecture, dressed in super low-cut, tight outfits, etc. They talk about sex and inappropriate stuff with the MD's. They behave in a way that makes it obvious that they are willing to throw themselves at them any time they want. It's not just a few, it's a lot of them, and that's only the ones I know. I'm not an envious person, and I am very attractive, so this is not jealousy on my part. But I have seen the devastation that affairs cause in my own family, and I would never ever behave in a way that may end up breaking up a marriage. I guess I could consider filing a sexual harrasment claim, but I don't thing that would change a thing. I hate that people may assume I'm like that too just because they see so many acting this way.
    I have never seen this kind of behavior working in the health care industry, but have seen something similar in other careers I've worked in.
  6. by   HARRN2b
    And you should have been at some of my former sales meetings!! And I was a rep for one of the most well known companies. Yep, you wouldn't believe it. However, my belief was if it did not effect me or my position, who cares?
  7. by   Natkat
    I've seen this kind of behavior lots of places. It's not limited to doctors and/or nurses. It's just people being people. Some people don't have good boundaries and don't care if someone is married before moving in on them. You can't change people. They'll do what they do no matter what you're opinion is. I agree it's nauseating to watch, but I try to ignore it and mind my own business.
  8. by   pagandeva2000
    Quote from susiegirl
    Hi, this is my first post, but I needed to express my feelings about this somewhere.
    The reason I'm posting is because I'm ashamed of the behavior of fellow nurses. I work at a very large hospital and I know, or know of, so many RN's that had or are having affairs with married MD's. It's sickening to me. Some of these women just don't care that they are destroying a family as long as they get to snag a rich MD. Of course, the MD's are at fault too, but the things these women do to get their attention are shameful. One woman in my department would constantly touch one of the MD's (pretty soon after she started working there), sit next to him and put her feet on his lap or even his shoulder, gave him a wedgie, etc. I always saw her initiating the inappropriate behavior. They ended up having an affair. This is just one example. A lot of nurses come to work-related events, like dinner after a C.E. lecture, dressed in super low-cut, tight outfits, etc. They talk about sex and inappropriate stuff with the MD's. They behave in a way that makes it obvious that they are willing to throw themselves at them any time they want. It's not just a few, it's a lot of them, and that's only the ones I know. I'm not an envious person, and I am very attractive, so this is not jealousy on my part. But I have seen the devastation that affairs cause in my own family, and I would never ever behave in a way that may end up breaking up a marriage. I guess I could consider filing a sexual harrasment claim, but I don't thing that would change a thing. I hate that people may assume I'm like that too just because they see so many acting this way.
    Are you being sexually harassed by anyone? If you are, then, certainly, I would report it. If not, maybe consider a different place to work. I have seen some of this type of behavior, maybe not as often as you, but I have. Basically, all I can say is that if it really gets to you, you have to leave. I don't mean it to sound cold. I know how it is to have pet peeves regarding people's behavior. But, you cannot change them...you can either change your perspective and be glad you do not conduct yourself in this manner and ignore them, or leave the atmosphere before you go crazy. Good luck.
  9. by   Ruby Vee
    [font="comic sans ms"]i've seen this sort of behavior at work -- even walked in on it once. it's unprofessional, but not my business.

    what bothers me more is the nurses i've seen date patients, or the nurse i knew who had an affair with her patient's husband while the lady lay dying. that one really upset me!
  10. by   VivaLasViejas
    I was going to try to add some words of wisdom to this discussion. Unfortunately, I have long been plagued by a deplorable lack of curiosity about my co-workers' personal lives, love affairs, and so on, as well as a sense that it isn't any of my business unless it interferes with what I myself am trying to accomplish on the job. So I don't suppose I'm the proper person to advise anyone on what to do when they are bothered by flirting and philandering in the workplace, especially when it doesn't involve them.:stone
  11. by   LeahJet
    I agree with those that say this is unprofessional behaviour. Management needs to step in at some point.

    The "affair" part is none of anyone's business.

    Trust me, fate/karma/reaping what you sow, ect..... will bite them in the butt much harder than any silly divorce lawyer!
  12. by   ERNP
    I really don't care either about what others do in private. On the job, however, it does occasionally effect care that patients receive. It hasn't been that long ago that I was forced to bear witness to some blatantly obvious circumstances that I would have preferred not to witness. The behavior was causing increased waiting times where I work because... well because the people involved were busy.

    Finally, one of them sat down next to me while I was charting one day. I just took the opportunity to confront one of the offenders.... I said, "What's up?" A perfectly innocuous question. When the response was "not much", I just replied with a few statements from my own agenda and told the person, "I was born at night but it wasn't last night. You can do what you want, but in the end it will likely be you that ends up hurt."

    This person obviously didn't know how obvious the behavior was to others and asked me "Is it that obvious?" I said "dreadfully, painfully obvious."

    The work behavior did tone down after that but the cat must have already been out of the bag. It will suffice to say that what happened in the following weeks was a mess.
  13. by   Marie_LPN, RN
    I've seen this sort of behavior at work -- even walked in on it once. It's unprofessional, but not my business.
    If i walk in on it, it becomes my business.

    IOW if i walk in on people doing it in a closet at work, yes, they're getting reported for it.

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