"Are you saved?" How do YOU deal with these types of questions - page 7

I would love to hear from some more experienced ppl some ways to deal with these types of personal questions. In my region, there are many devout evangelical Christian people who I think are... Read More

  1. by   lifesaverwv
    JeepGirl, You have given the best answer :hatparty:
    It probably made some people speechless. Thanks for adding humor to my day :chuckle
  2. by   VeryPlainJane
    Quote from Dixielee
    While I prefer Jeepgirls answer, I have never had the guts to use it!:chuckle

    I am LDS, you should try being a Mormon in Georgia where I grew up. While I embrace my religion and do my best to lead my life according to it's teachings, I recognize that many do not agree with me. I had a doctor ask me where I went to church once. When I told him, he began the tirade about how I was going to hell, blah, blah, blah. Since then, I decline to answer.

    It is not that I am ashamed of it, I just believe there is a time and place for it. I would not expect an answer from someone if I ask them who they voted for as well. There are some things that just do not need to be discussed in a setting such as the hosptal.

    I have no problem praying with a patient if they wish. I respect other beliefs and try to be invisible if someone has their clergy with them. But, when I have been asked that question, I now answer, that it is a personal issue and I prefer not to discuss it at work. When pressed, I will say that I am Christian and am comfortable with my salvation, and then turn it back to them if they wish to discuss their own beliefs, but I never argue about it.
    I am one of 13 kids, once people find this out they ask me if my parents were LDS or Catholic...to which I answer...nether just horny! It's no ones bizz wax!
  3. by   minneRN
    I am a christian, God fearing individual, but your comments almost made me pee in my pants!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel the same!!!:chuckle
    Quote from jeepgirl
    Question:
    "Are you saved?"


    Jeepgirl's Answer:
    "Why, are you going to get me out of this hellhole?"


    That is what I would want to say...
  4. by   LPN1974
    Quote from jeepgirl
    Just because you're not SHOUTING IT FROM THE ROOFTOPS doesn't mean you're a bad person if you are a believer. I think that there is a big difference from evangelising during your work and during your personal life. You just shouldn't engage in these personal conversations with your patients. I am sure that most organizations would agree.


    How I was taught in my church was that it was always best to lead by example. You don't have to nessassarily beat your beliefs into someone's head if the way you live shows them everything they need to know.

    I also liked your answer, jeepgirl.
    As nurse, in the position of being caregivers, we have to be careful that we do not try to {for lack of a better word}........"impose" our personal beliefs onto our patients.
    Patients could complain and probably have a legitimate greivance if we went around doing that, however, some people as patients, feel it is okay to question us and attempt to do the same to us.

    I am a Christian, I am "saved", I do know who Jesus is, but I also feel that religion is best left out of the workplace, esp. in the caregiver/patient roles.
    The playing field is not level there.

    Now if the patient and I were to meet up on the street......that would be a different matter.
  5. by   RN4NICU
    Quote from danu3
    Actually that might be something interesting to bring up at one's place of work. Can we have sort of designated people who feel comfortable praying with the patient when the patient request it.
    Where I work, that is the chaplain. We have a chaplain available 24/7.
  6. by   JessicaInOr
    Quote from porterwoman
    I would love to hear from some more experienced ppl some ways to deal with these types of personal questions. In my region, there are many devout evangelical Christian people who I think are genuinely concerned about the state of my soul. When folks like this are in the hospital, they're also feeling vulnerable, and they probably want to discuss their faith with someone who can help them feel more grounded. I am not necessarily that person.
    I get the questions, "Are you saved?" "What church do you go to?" "Have you accepted Jesus as your lord and savior?" etc. frequently in the hospital where I work. 1. I don't believe my personal religious stuff is my patients' business. 2. I do not want to be dishonest about my personal religious/lack of religious stuff.
    So far, the best I've come up with is, "It sounds like Christ is important in your life. Tell me more about that."
    Thoughts? Opinions?
    Rebecca, that agnostic porterwoman
    I am a red blooded full blown atheist. But I also realize when I am rolling someone into OR that isn't the time to tell them that the masked face working on them is a heathen. I lie. I lie through my teeth. You get some 80 y/o going in for a dangerous surgical procedure and you don't need the added paranoia. If they ask me to pray, I bow my head and think of anything I can do to make my patient more comfortable. If s/he thinks I am praying, it's all the better for my patient.

    There is a time and place for absolutely everything. In a hospital setting where someone is facing a life threatening procedure, that isn't the time nor the place. My job is to get that patient through "X" and by zog, that's what I'll do.
  7. by   stevierae
    Quote from stevielynn
    Don't work around some of our night shift nurses . . . . they will tell you quite a bit about their sex lives. :wink2:

    steph
    LOL, so true--don't know what it is about the night shift that causes people to open up so much, but I can remember working L&D and post-partum in the Navy and having co-workers spill their guts about the abortions they'd had, the kids they had given up for adoption as unmarried teenagers, and their affairs---we had one married civilian aide (probably about 45, which seemed ancient, as I was only 20) whose boyfriend (husband was probably home babysitting their sleeping kids, poor guy) came to visit her on dinner breaks--I lived off base close to the hospital and one night (very shortly after she started working there) the two of them asked me if they could use my apartment for, well, I guess the occasional quickie. I didn't even know these people!!! What chutzpah!!!
    Last edit by stevierae on Apr 5, '05
  8. by   mattsmom81
    I've never had anyone at work ask me this thank goodness...just door to door.
  9. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from stevierae
    LOL, so true--don't know what it is about the night shift that causes people to open up so much, but I can remember working L&D and post-partum in the Navy and having co-workers spill their guts about the abortions they'd had, the kids they had given up for adoption as unmarried teenagers, and their affairs---we had one married civilian aide (probably about 45, which seemed ancient, as I was only 20) whose boyfriend (husband was probably home babysitting their sleeping kids, poor guy) came to visit her on dinner breaks--I lived off base close to the hospital and one night (very shortly after she started working there) the two of them asked me if they could use my apartment for, well, I guess the occasional quickie. I didn't even know these people!!! What chutzpah!!!
    stevie - did you let them????

    I guess this question to me is just like any other question I'd get at work that I didn't think was appropriate to answer. I've been asked by patients if I would marry them. I laugh and say no, I'm already married. Sometimes a patient will tell me I look really tired - well, gee thanks I'm thinking inside ...but on the outside I just say something like "yes, I got out of bed at 1:45 a.m. so I'm a little tired".

    Just use your professional training and be courteous and get on with your day. It isn't the end of the world to get asked if you are saved. The truth is, someone just cares about you. That ain't bad . . .

    steph
    Last edit by Spidey's mom on Apr 5, '05
  10. by   tntrn
    It has to handled individually, like all patient care issues. I don't bring up my beliefs, but occasionally a patient will broach the subject. In my private life, I don't evangelize; in fact, I am offended by it. Anybody who describes themselves to me as a "good Christian" immediately brings the question to my mind "as if it's not apparent." Lead by example is far better in my book; and if one's example is exceptional, it doesn't really matter what religion it is, does it?
  11. by   danu3
    Quote from tntrn
    It has to handled individually, like all patient care issues. I don't bring up my beliefs, but occasionally a patient will broach the subject. In my private life, I don't evangelize; in fact, I am offended by it. Anybody who describes themselves to me as a "good Christian" immediately brings the question to my mind "as if it's not apparent." Lead by example is far better in my book; and if one's example is exceptional, it doesn't really matter what religion it is, does it?
    I remembered an old sermon once said something to the effect that we (Christians in the context of the sermon) are witness for Christ in our actions all the time. The question is, are we a "good" or "bad" witness. Instead of asking a person to read the Bible, act what the Bible teaches and the person next to you would have read the Bible - in 3D.

    One reason I was attracted to nursing is because of all the nurses that I personally have interacted with, especially during the time when my mom was real sick. None of the nurses I ever interacted with ever suggested directly or indirectly to go into nursing (they did not "evangelize"). It was many years later when I was debating whether I want to go into nursing or not, that these nurses come into mind and "pushed" me over to decide to go into nursing.

    Back to this topic. How one treats your patients, your fellow nurses, your manager, the CNAs, the housekeeper will speak loudly about one's faith. Especially in a stressful and bad situation.

    Evangelize in a hospital setting (from health care provider to patient), as mentioned by other posters already, is actually not ethical (even if it is not against hospital policy) because it is not a playing field. If it is a level playing field (outside the hospital where the person is well), that is a different matter. In a hospital setting, it is time for healing, time for caring, and time for compassion.


    -Dan
  12. by   RainbowSkye
    For the Christians on this thread:

    Yes, I really am offended if someone asks me if I'm saved. I try very hard not to show that I'm offended when asked at work (which is nearly every work day), but offended I am. And I'm not just asked this by patients, but visitors, police officers, other staff members...

    I try to respect all religions. I believe that each religion is a different path eventually leading to the same place. People who are Christian are the only ones who intrude on the space in my life which I feel is very private, and, well, sacred.

    I just try to to as respectful as possible while changing the subject.
  13. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from danu3
    I remembered an old sermon once said something to the effect that we (Christians in the context of the sermon) are witness for Christ in our actions all the time. The question is, are we a "good" or "bad" witness. Instead of asking a person to read the Bible, act what the Bible teaches and the person next to you would have read the Bible - in 3D.

    One reason I was attracted to nursing is because of all the nurses that I personally have interacted with, especially during the time when my mom was real sick. None of the nurses I ever interacted with ever suggested directly or indirectly to go into nursing (they did not "evangelize"). It was many years later when I was debating whether I want to go into nursing or not, that these nurses come into mind and "pushed" me over to decide to go into nursing.

    Back to this topic. How one treats your patients, your fellow nurses, your manager, the CNAs, the housekeeper will speak loudly about one's faith. Especially in a stressful and bad situation.

    Evangelize in a hospital setting (from health care provider to patient), as mentioned by other posters already, is actually not ethical (even if it is not against hospital policy) because it is not a playing field. If it is a level playing field (outside the hospital where the person is well), that is a different matter. In a hospital setting, it is time for healing, time for caring, and time for compassion.


    -Dan
    Good post . . .except for the last paragraph . . the OP was concerned about patients asking the question "are you saved". Right?

    We can't tell our patients what they can and cannot say . . well, except I think I can ask them not to swear.

    hmmm . . . maybe we can ask them what to say and what not to say . .

    I'm confused now . ..

    steph

close