What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

this wasn't the most ridiculous reason i've seen by far, but was one of my more recent ones that annoyed me..

it's 2am and i'm assigned to triage/registration, i call this 20-something female pt that just walked in, to my desk who appears agitated and has her mother carrying a toddler and dragging another 4-5yr old w/her, both kids in pajamas and can barely keep their eyes open. silly me thinks this complaint must be important if she's gonna drag her mom and kids to the er at 2am... oh but of course not! patient sits down and immediately starts going off about how she just slammed her thumb in the car door and now she has no circulation to her hand and its cold, plus she now has gangrene, per the pt. i ask when this happened, she tells me 15min ago, so i look at her hand.. her "gangrene" is a collection of blood under the nail, and as for her "loss of circulation with cold hands" issue, it's a safe bet that her hand is cold because she is running around in the middle of the night in this ridiculous spandex and rhinestone outfit , and not from a circulation problem, due to the fact that she's moving all fingers/hand, skins pink, cap refill is good, and b/c she's crazy! lol after i explained all of this to her, she then seriously asked me "well aren't you going to page the doctor up here stat?!" lol, i said "first of all, i don't page the doctor to triage stat for non-emergencies", she didn't really like that comment and spent the rest of the time i was stuck with her saying how we needed to give her a shot of "that stuff that starts with a d.. dilaula?" haha, lady you get a motrin, especially seeing as how she's the one driving! why she couldn't leave babies at home w/grandma to watch em, is beyond me, but then again if you're weird enough to wear that outfit and rush to the er in the middle of the night b/c you bruised your thumb.. i'm guessing your not the brightest bulb..

i just got rid of a weekend caregiver who must be related to your mentioned patient. lol.

[Penelope_Pitstop, BSN, RN]

This reminds me of a pt we had a few months ago with acute abdominal pain. This man was literally in tears from the pain. Anyway, he got the full work-up, (Bloods, CT, Fluid, etc.). He even got a sono thrown in for good measure. Needless to say there was nothing wrong with him other than a LOT of stool and gas. So the ED physician goes to talk to the pt and give him the results of all the tests. I happened to be at the bedside putting up another liter of saline. The doctor says to him with an absolutely straight face :Sir, you're perfectly ok, all your tests show that you have no acute disease, but you are suffering from TFS." So the man looks at him and says "What is TFS?" And the doctor says "Trapped Fart Syndrome," and walks away.

It took everything I had in me to hold it together until I got out of the room. Hilarious. Now, whenever an abdominal pain comes in we make sure we rule out TFS

Now, that is a very serious condition. Didn't anyone see the South Park episode about what happens if it goes untreated? People spontaneously combust!

[AngelicDarkness]

I love the stories on here but have to insert a random one that ended up at a real emergency...

92 year old lady with severe pain for 3 days. Refused to go to hospital. Took prn tylenol but it wasn't helping. Severe pain was in her lower back and hips. Paramedics told her not to bring anything because there was "no point since you'll be back tonight" having the pain 3 days and not doing anything about it when it was new.

She had a massive MI in the emerg that evening. Roughly 2 hours after waiting.

Freaky how that worked out eh?

[newtinmpls, BSN, RN]

A mother brought her 3 day old infant in because she found her 9 year old nephew sucking on the infant's umbilical cord. My thought was, I'd be more concerned about the 9 year old.

Me too. that is an odd, and rather personal sort of behavior for a 9yo to just pick up. I'd wonder if there was abuse going on.

[FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I]

Ditto!!

[trooperwifey]

These are hilarious but I am not suprised in the least! I have two that I would like to share.

1.) Triage is slamming to the point where all ambulance patients are lined up in the hallway. I finally get to a lady who came in via ambulance. Complaint? Itching from Poison Ivy... from which she was DXd and discharged EARLIER that day.

2.) An older lady who came in with a complaint of vag bleeding.

Me: 'How long has this been going on ma'am?"

Lady: 'Oh, about 20 years'

Me: '20 years? What made you come in tonight?'

Lady: 'I finally found a ride'

Me: thinking... IT TOOK 20 YEARS TO FIND A RIDE!!!?? LOL

[SpEdtacular, MSN, RN, EMT-P]

I love the stories on here but have to insert a random one that ended up at a real emergency...

92 year old lady with severe pain for 3 days. Refused to go to hospital. Took prn tylenol but it wasn't helping. Severe pain was in her lower back and hips. Paramedics told her not to bring anything because there was "no point since you'll be back tonight" having the pain 3 days and not doing anything about it when it was new.

She had a massive MI in the emerg that evening. Roughly 2 hours after waiting.

Freaky how that worked out eh?

Old ladies are sneaky like that

[SpEdtacular, MSN, RN, EMT-P]

Whilst EMSing I picked up an "unresponsive" gentleman that was seen lying in the street by passersby. I said sir what's the matter today and he said I'm cold and I drink like fish.

I said sir I appreciate your honesty, and I respect you for that.

If only everyone were so honest...

[AngelfireRN, MSN, RN, APRN]

Okay, I think I have the best one yet. Two days ago, a man came in via ambulance, chief complaint was he ran out of his prescription medications. Seriously, he wasted a 911 call on THAT. Why he didn't call his physician is beyond me.

I may have an answer for you. My general practice has an emphasis on pain management (thie doc I work for is phenomenal at treating pain, we have a wait list that boggles the mind), but all our pts sign a contract at the time they become our pt. The contract states that they will only receive controlled substanced from this doc, that they will not see other docs for the purpose of obtaining controls, that they agree to submit to random drug screens, and that any violation will result in dismissal from the practice. If they are dismissed, they get no more meds (we do supply a limited amount of maintenance meds until they can get another doc).

We have had pts go to ER in an attempt to get pain meds, and one lovely individual (who was dismissed because he showed up for his appointment staggering drunk) called the local PD and claimed his meds were stolen. He was jailed for filing a false report once the cops (who we work very closely with) found out what had transpired.

Just a for-instance.

[Christy1019, ASN, RN]

Yesterday.. c/o Being startled while asleep

Per EMS they arrived to find a woman sitting in a lawn chair in the middle of the street crying, w/a car that ran into the streetlight nearby. They asked if she's hurt she says no, "why are u crying?" Pt: "B/c the car hit the pole", "were u the driver/passenger?" Pt: "I wasn't in the car". "Did the car hit you?" Pt: "no I was in my house asleep & the crash woke me up and scared me so I started drinking and called 911"

And they wonder why detroit has the country's slowest response time.. they get multiple calls like this daily!

[EMcGrady]

Fake morphoene OD, nothing in his system he just wanted his girlfriend to feel bad and make him dinner.

[ERnurse8]

Wanted me to sign paperwork on his apartment application certifying that he was in need of his dog as a companion animal so he could move in with a dog into an apartment that wouldn't otherwise allow dogs

I kindly replied that if he could get his GP to sign off for him more power to him but our ER attending would not see him for that purpose

he responded.."really? are you sure?"

Could you imagine!!!....."hey Dr such and such....this will only take a sec.... HAHA YEAH RIGHT!!!":up: