Your Family in the Hospital

[Cagey]

I work in a medium sized hospital and I have worked there for about 15 years. For the most part, most of the staff knows or know of each other. Of course, we tend to see each other outside of the hospital in social settings.

Fortunately, my family has never been in the hospital. However, my husband needs to have surgery...nothing life threatening or major. During the routine procedure overview, it was mentioned he may need either a foley or need to be straight cathed every so often for the first day or 2 due to the pain meds and anesthesia. On the way out, my husband asked if I would be the once doing it. I told him maybe, maybe not. He asked if I really cared if any of my co-workers "got" to see him naked. I answered with the standard nursing comment of seen one, seen 'em all and nurses don't see anything special in seeing just another member. My rather sensitive hubby was a bit hurt by that flippant comment. Personally, I work primarily in the nursery and pediatrics with occasional pulls to the floor, so I am kind of out of touch with a subject like this.

I guess the question is this: how do most nurses feel about co-workers, possibly at least casual friends, potentially doing intimate procedures such as caths, bed-baths, or any other case where they have the opportunity (hubby's word) to see them nude? Thinking about it, I am not sure I would really be that comfortable with it, but as a nurse I know it is no big deal. Just wondering how other nurses might feel about it. Afterall, this isn't just any other patient.

[nyreaRN]

haven't had that kind of experience .. but we had our secretary admitted to our floor, so he is kind of family .. he has cardiac issues so he has to go to our floor .. he needed a foley and he asked who were on the floor and chose who he would want to do it ... almost all of us would not want to do the foley to the guy we see everyday taking care of doctor's orders and answering the phone .... i don't know about the husband of one of our nurses ... but i guess, we are all professional ... its part of the job.

[catshowlady]

It wouldn't bother me to take care of a co-worker. It happens at my job too. I have taken care of a co-worker, although not one who needed any intimate procedures or peri-care, so that was not an issue. I have also taken care of a co-worker's husband, who did require more intimate/personal care. To me, he was "just another pt."

That said, and maybe this is a double standard, I would not want most of my co-workers to take care of me. I am heavy, and I don't like my body very much. I have heard some nurses say unkind things to other co-workers about people's bodies (thank god not in front of the pt!). I would worry that they were talking about me--behind my back, so to speak. I would only feel comfortable with a handful of my co-workers taking care of me, those that I could trust that would protect my privacy and not be judgmental about my body. And that's probably my issue, not theirs, but it's still an issue to me.

[Straydandelion]

I think due to the sensitive issue possibly leaving that up to your husband? If he wants you to and you happen to be there.. also if you would be comfortable with it then that is fine.

[StrwbryblndRN]

My hubby would not care. He is sensitive about his information. Nothing special just does not like people to know.

If he knew the staff, he would probably confide in me about who he does not want to take care of him. Not because he is modest but just because he does had a definite preference to certain people when it come to his care.

[StNeotser, ASN, RN]

We had an LPN admitted to our floor who used to work on that floor some years before I got there. She would only let people she hadn't previously worked with do any intimate care.

I know what you're saying though, as a nurse you don't really look at people that way anyway, however I guess I can understand how your husband feels.

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

i personally have a strict policy against being naked at work; my husband -- who works in the same hospital -- does not. he'd happily be admitted to our unit if need be; i'd walk across town with 10/10 chest pain to avoid it. do i care if he's the patient in our unit? i don't mind others seeing him naked as much as i'd mind his private health information being available to my co-workers. as far as my private health information? he'd blab it all to anyone who asked anyway.

[Christie RN2006]

One time we had someone admitted to my floor that most everyone knew. I was one of the few that didn't know her very well, so they asked me if I would be willing to assist her nurse who was orienting with inserting the foley. I didn't have any problems with that and neither did she.

Maybe he could request to have someone help him that doesn't know him or you that well. I know for me, I would be very embarrassed if I had to be seen naked by my coworkers!

[Cagey]

Thanks for the answers. But, to maybe clarify a bit. I know my husband would feel very uncomfortable in that situation knowing they know me. I would do as much as I could, but with children at home, no way could I be there all the time. I do know how some others can talk. At this point, I am am feeling uncomfortable about any potential co-worker doing such a procedure on MY husband. He is not just a patient. He is C's husband. I wonder how I will feel if I happen to sit next to these co-workers in the mall or see them at the pool or sitting in a meeting thinking 5 or 6 have seen my husband. When we first met, my husband was not too happy with some of the procedures done by nurses, but now I guess I understand his viewpoint a bit better.

Just wondering what most nurses think or feel about co-workers doing these types of procedures on their husband. Does it bother you at all? This may sound unprofessional, but when the patient is a family member, it's tough to think like a nurse. Since this is not a surgery needing to be done immediately, we may just go to a different hospital. Am I just being foolsih, letting myself image things? Maybe too much time in peds?

[mama_d, BSN, RN]

If it helps any, I've taken care of several people who were family members of staff, and I can't for the life of me remember what anything looked like :)

I'm on the tele unit, and one of our cardiologist's close family members (basically his adoptive dad in all but name) was a frequent flyer for a while. I just remember he was a bit of a pain to care for b/c he was demanding sometimes, and I seemed to get him as a patient fairly often. I know I wiped that man's behind and did Foley care on him repeatedly, but I couldn't even tell you now if he was circ'ed or not, or if his butt was hairy.

I don't think I'd have a problem with my co-workers caring for my hubby; I'd rather have them taking care of him, where I could choose (based on competence) who got to, instead of him going to another floor where I wouldn't have that kind of control.

And I know that after I had surgery last year I was worried about my feelings regarding privacy issues, but found out that I didn't really care. I wasn't able to be on my own floor...even after my pressures bottomed out and my HR dropped to 39-42, b/c there were no beds. Luckily I had worked several shifts with my nurse that night, and I knew I could trust her to take good care of me regardless. I did pull my own Foley though :)

[firstyearstudent]

I would be really uncomfortable with this because then other nurses would see how small my husband's member is and then they'd tease me about it. (Just kidding!)

[helpnhands]

I would be really uncomfortable with this because then other nurses would see how small my husband's member is and then they'd tease me about it. (Just kidding!)

No real nurse would do that. (No kidding!)