Your body did what?!?

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I have recently began working in a clinic and am finding people coming in with the strangest (and grossest) complaints. What are some of the weirdest/grossest/greatest things you have seen the human body do?:eek:

Has anyone seen Whispera? I'm afraid she may be laying on the floor somewhere...

All of the poop stories reminded me of a man I took care of back as an aide. He wouldn't take a daily bowel maintenance dose of anything, and also took iron pills. Between the chronic constipation with low fluid intake, a megacolon, and iron pills, the man pooped fence posts. He'd always ask for an enema, and would bleed when he was done going, poor man. The worst part was that they were unflushable. You had to fish them out and put them in a biohazard bag! Nasty!

Yeah - been wondering the same..... We need a cyber rescue squad :)

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"I worked with a nurse who could find a member ANYWHERE..."

I'm sorry, that one just conjured up too many funny pictures.

Very good point :D

Her wizardry was confined to those with the XY chromosomes....but if it looked like a second navel, she could hang a coat on it by the time she was done :D

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Specializes in OB, Med/Surg, Ortho, ICU.
Yeah - been wondering the same..... We need a cyber rescue squad :)

Maybe a button to push when she needs assistance when she's fallen......and can't get up? Boy, that's a good idea, we should patent it!

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Maybe a button to push when she needs assistance when she's fallen......and can't get up? Boy, that's a good idea, we should patent it!

Sounds good :D

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Specializes in family practice.
Has anyone seen Whispera? I'm afraid she may be laying on the floor somewhere...

she made a post on another thread yesterday so shes still verymuch walkie talkie (i believe0

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Specializes in OB, Med/Surg, Ortho, ICU.

Good to know.

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Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.

I'm here. I was revived by the wandering cowbell that circulates through my house...

...speaking of logs...when my one son was little, he would have huge bowel movements. I'm talking three inches in diameter and a foot and a half long. I have no idea how those exit-ed his body. He said they didn't hurt but were somewhat uncomfy until they came out--and a relief once they were out. We had to put them in the trash because there was no way they were flushable, even with breaking them up! The doctor didn't think anything of it. At that time I wasn't a nurse, but now I see he might have had toxic megacolon. He outgrew it, thank heavens!

I hope he doesn't read this or know my name here! gulp!

...cowbell? are you there???

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:yeah::yeah::yeah: these are great guys!! keep 'em coming! :lol2::lol2::lol2:
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Specializes in Intermediate care.

i once had a lady who was complaining of a constant itching/burning in her folds. expecting to find some yeasty type stuff, i go in gloved up.

I found some cheetos!!!

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Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.
i once had a lady who was complaining of a constant itching/burning in her folds. expecting to find some yeasty type stuff, i go in gloved up.

i found some cheetos!!!

:eek:guess what i'm nibbling on a 100 calorie bag of even as i type?!:D yack! none under my boobs or in any folds -- yet!:uhoh3: just a couple in the doggie's tummy and some orange on his muzzle.:lol2:

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that's the old joke-- the fat guy goes into the doctor with an orange d**k and the doctor is trying to figure out the cause.

"what did you do last night?"

"it's kind of embarrassing...."

"oh, that's alright, we've heard it all before, go ahead."

"well, i watched Media and ate cheetos."

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While treating an outpatient for a pressure ulcer 3 days/week, I removed the dressing one day to find the coccyx was missing in action. I had her go home and look under the couch cushions, her car seat, etc. She did have osteomyelitis in the bone and I figured one day it would crumble. But her dressing was intact! That was 3 years ago and it's still a mystery.

I like how it sounds like you calmly told her to go home and search around for her coccyx. It's always in the last place you look, isn't it.:rolleyes:

Reminds me of a skit I saw one time on TV where a woman kept stopping men on the street and telling them her ovary just fell out and rolled away and could they help her find it. Amazing how many kind men went up and down the sidewalk looking for her ovary.

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