Your body did what?!?

[pink_shoes99]

I have recently began working in a clinic and am finding people coming in with the strangest (and grossest) complaints. What are some of the weirdest/grossest/greatest things you have seen the human body do?

[JeneraterRN]

Speaking of uterine prolapse, the worst one I have seen was protruding about 3 inches out of her lady parts. It had been like that for years, so it was dry and pale in color, and quite frankly, looked like a member.

[Whispera, MSN, RN]

I think I'll faint now....

[MomRN0913]

Obese Lady said she was itching under her breast, just to find out she had pieces of potato chips all mushy and weird looking under the folds!

That's just gross.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

I had a pt suffering from constiation so he was doing GoLytley. Well, he had a BM that was so large, it basically took up the ENTIRE bowl part of the toilet. Picture poop instead of water, that's what it was like. And not runny poop...thick poop! We didn't even attempt to flush it; called facilities instead, LOL! :anpom:

There really should be some sort of nursing medal system for things like this. "Nurses' Book of World Records", with various bodily functions or "parts" celebrated for the amazing things that they are.... Yikes.

I bet y'all made fast friends with the guys in the facilities department. I wouldn't open any holiday cards/snacks from those guys

[thelema13]

I had an old man come in from the nursing home, confused. Fixed his blood sugar, fixed his confusion. Doing my assessment, I took off his socks to take a look and his 4th toe fell off, black and gangrenous. I don't know if I did it or it was like that, but I almost threw up.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

Yeah...had some ancient woman whose uterus just sorta got taken over by gravity whenever she got up to the BSC.....we were told to glove up, slather on the lube, and push that puppy back where it belonged. Why nobody got a pessary for the poor woman, I'll never know, since we just slicked it up enough to fall out that much faster when she got up the next time. Looked like she was crowning one butt-ugly kid..... could have gone my whole life without seeing that....

[lrobinson5]

He double bagged his plunger, raised it in the air like it was his sword, looked at me, gave me a "I'm going in!" nod, and off he went. I was dying of laughter, felt so bad cause I think the pt could hear me but I couldn't stop. I felt like a teenager, LOL!

Oh man, that one had me laughing. You painted a picture in my mind, it was like I was there watching that guy LOL.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

Speaking of uterine prolapse, the worst one I have seen was protruding about 3 inches out of her lady parts. It had been like that for years, so it was dry and pale in color, and quite frankly, looked like a member.

I'm so sorry that reminded you of a member

Reminds me of the movie "Pink Cadillac" with Clint Eastwood and Bernadette Peters.... Clint's character was off somewhere in a Vegas casino, and Peter's was in said car.... a flasher comes up (back to the camera) and opens his coat...Peter's line was classic. She looks the guy over, and says "Hmmm. Looks like a member, only smaller".

[lrobinson5]

That's just gross.

I had a friend whose dad was a paramedic with a very strong stomach. I can't remember if he actually threw up or just was the closest he had ever been, but it was because of a similar situation. A morbidly obese woman called and they came to assess. The smell was bad at first, but when she complained about her skin hurting he lifted up a fold and there was what once was food completely covered with mold. I can't imagine what it smelled like after. O.O

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

I think I'll faint now....

COME BACK !! Follow the sound of our collective posts!!

[gymnut]

There was one patient who I needed a stool sample from so I put a hat in her toilet. She called and I came in and she said she had the stool sample for me.

Well I open the bathroom door and was so shocked I actually said "Wow, I'll say you do!" The entire stool was the diameter of the hat and filled the whole thing to the top. It was one solitary clump. I asked if she was ok and she said yes. I honestly thought she would have ripped something and have been bleeding.

All I'll say is I never knew that an orifice could stretch like a birth canal.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

There was one patient who I needed a stool sample from so I put a hat in her toilet. She called and I came in and she said she had the stool sample for me.

Well I open the bathroom door and was so shocked I actually said "Wow, I'll say you do!" The entire stool was the diameter of the hat and filled the whole thing to the top. It was one solitary clump. I asked if she was ok and she said yes. I honestly thought she would have ripped something and have been bleeding.

All I'll say is I never knew that an orifice could stretch like a birth canal.

I'd just be glad if it slammed shut again :)