Your body did what?!?

[pink_shoes99]

I have recently began working in a clinic and am finding people coming in with the strangest (and grossest) complaints. What are some of the weirdest/grossest/greatest things you have seen the human body do?

[JeneraterRN]

I just remembered why I hate mag citrate in the elderly. We had a gentleman in the hospital (I don't remember the dx) that had to have a bowel prep for a scope in the am. The mag citrate worked his wonders, and he hurriedly hobbled to the bathroom dribbling all the way (sounds like a bad Christmas carol). The bad part came when he was crouching down to sit on the toilet and couldn't locate the toilet paper dispenser. He did a complete 360 looking for it as he was blasting off, so to speak. Walls, door, sink, toilet, floor-all painted brown.

[xtxrn, ASN, RN]

that's the old joke-- the fat guy goes into the doctor with an orange d**k and the doctor is trying to figure out the cause.

"what did you do last night?"

"it's kind of embarrassing...."

"oh, that's alright, we've heard it all before, go ahead."

"well, i watched Media and ate cheetos."

eeeeeewwwwww

[maddiem]

These are great stories guys! Some of them pretty gorse...But also some funny ones :) As a future nurse, I'm preparing myself!

[Rob72, ASN, RN]

I had an old man come in from the nursing home, confused. Fixed his blood sugar, fixed his confusion. Doing my assessment, I took off his socks to take a look and his 4th toe fell off, black and gangrenous. I don't know if I did it or it was like that, but I almost threw up.

Sissy! That's how my (now) wife and I started dating- after a conversation over a single gangrenous toe. Ahhh, medical practioner love, LOL!!

[clh62590]

I had a obese pt on the geri psych floor and on admit I kept hearing a strange crinkling noise when she would move, I figured she had a brief on. She ended up being an elopement risk, so I changed her into hospital issued clothes, only to find a plastic Walmart bag under her stomach!

Another pt on admit, her caretaker informed me she has a rectal prolapse, and that it happens quite often, so she instructed me to place sugar on it and it would go right back in, I had never heard this before, and didn't think it would work well I'll be darned if her rectum didn't prolapse an hour or so later so I asked the other aid to get some sugar, she returned and held out her hands and said "will splenda work?" She had brought about 20 packs of splenda.