So many of you are amazing people and nurses. The time you put in responding to posts on Allnurses really does make a difference.
BUT.
When people come here asking for advice on a situation, they are not looking for your opinion of them as a person or their behavior. You all know what threads I'm talking about.
It's one thing to point out that their behavior could potentially be dangerous to patients.
It's one thing to be honest and tell them that their future doesn't look too bright.
It's one thing to suggest they may find seeing a therapist very helpful.
It's another to tell them they are mentally ill, mock them RELENTLESSLY, or judge them. When you do this to your fellow nurses (that have just come to you for advice), you're worse than that poor, scared soul you FLAMED for thinking a drug abuser may have a bloodborne illness.
These posters are often simply desperate, scared, or just plain curious!
I know it's important to have a thick skin when you work in healthcare, and I sure as heck am not busting out the trigger-words bully†or NETY.†It's just that even in my CNA class, it was emphasized over and over that it's not our place to judge patients. Can't you afford the same courtesy to other nurses?
I'm generally a pretty quiet person, but I believe in standing up for other people. So I just had to put this out there.
This forum's name is ALLNURSES... it doesn't state anywhere that we have to hold people's hands through anything. If you put yourself out there then you should be ready for all types of replies...notice the word should. There will be plenty of people that post something ridiculous to the majority of readers and they will be offended, hurt, what-have-you... It is what it is. I really can't stand people on their soap box, people who think they are "holier than thou" It's irritating. I have to be professional when I'm on my job...I have to be decent off the clock (so I don't make the profession look bad)...but that does NOT include censoring myself relentlessly so that I don't step on toes on the internet. As other posters have said... people have different interpretations of words like "talking down to", "rude", "mean", etc... What I want to point out is, there are too many people that ASK other people for opinions and advice and become defensive to constructive criticism etc...why post anything at all if you aren't open to all types of responses? I have to deal with being politically correct enough...I won't water myself down for strangers on the internet. Just because you feel you have been offended doesn't make the other person a "bad person" or "unethical" that is ridiculous.
I think this is the kind of post that missnurse1989 doesn't like because it's condescending.
I think it's funny and it doesn't bother me.
I think the kind of posts the OP is talking about are the ones where a few members will gang up on someone who disagrees with them, then it starts devolving to personal attacks. Or the posts that just skirt the edge of TOS violations. Or the ones where the posters are just out to do damage. And the few blatant name-callers.
I have been reading this site for quite a while and have never posted because I am not a nurse yet. However, I really feel I want to respond to this post.
I agree to an extent about being cordial online; however, I can't believe some of the posts I see on here, and I don't blame posters for getting snippy or even rude in some cases. The lack of common sense and entitlement, not to mention downright stupidity in some cases is unbelievable. Not only can I completely understand the frustration in dealing with such people, it is downright scary that some of them hold other people's lives in their hands or have the potential to.
It is unconscionable for a practicing RN to not know how pathogens are contracted, and very scary to think about the kind of care his/her patients are getting between that and being preoccupied constantly about catching something. I lived for decades with someone with anxiety on the same level as that poster, and I can tell you that the concern they have is with THEMSELVES. Not good. It's also a joke to read how becoming a nurse is all someone ever wanted but they don't conduct their lives accordingly. I can't fathom how such people have been coddled their whole lives that the obvious doesn't occur to them, but I say, they deserve what they get. Hopefully, someone wakes them up, unfortunately, I doubt it will happen.
I think this is the kind of post that missnurse1989 doesn't like because it's condescending.
I think it's funny and it doesn't bother me.
I think the kind of posts the OP is talking about are the ones where a few members will gang up on someone who disagrees with them, then it starts devolving to personal attacks. Or the posts that just skirt the edge of TOS violations. Or the ones where the posters are just out to do damage. And the few blatant name-callers.
That's been on the rise lately.
See I read that same post and I did not find it to be condescending.
Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.
Really? Aren't ya kinda proving the point? Btw, I read your posts all the time and are someone I look up to. But I dunno. I feel good when I make a hard situation a little better for someone even if it's in some small, stupid way. Not everyone has to agree with me though 😊
I admire you for putting yourself out there like this. It's hard to do.
I remember once a VEERRRRY long time ago, I was being bashed on a message board by some "mean girls" whom nobody wanted to go head-to-head with. There was ONE person who stood up and publicly defended me, and I will always remember what she did. Because of that, when I feel like someone is being unfairly dogpiled on, I do try to speak up. I know it's easy to do when you're a longtime, generally "liked" member.
It's a lot harder when you're an unknown. So for that, I thank you. As I try to tell my kids - the world doesn't need more people who are smart or clever. The world needs more people who are kind.
SWM2009
421 Posts
This has been my experience too. I wonder if AN is the first message board experience for some of those complaining about rudeness etc.