So many of you are amazing people and nurses. The time you put in responding to posts on Allnurses really does make a difference.
BUT.
When people come here asking for advice on a situation, they are not looking for your opinion of them as a person or their behavior. You all know what threads I'm talking about.
It's one thing to point out that their behavior could potentially be dangerous to patients.
It's one thing to be honest and tell them that their future doesn't look too bright.
It's one thing to suggest they may find seeing a therapist very helpful.
It's another to tell them they are mentally ill, mock them RELENTLESSLY, or judge them. When you do this to your fellow nurses (that have just come to you for advice), you're worse than that poor, scared soul you FLAMED for thinking a drug abuser may have a bloodborne illness.
These posters are often simply desperate, scared, or just plain curious!
I know it's important to have a thick skin when you work in healthcare, and I sure as heck am not busting out the trigger-words bully†or NETY.†It's just that even in my CNA class, it was emphasized over and over that it's not our place to judge patients. Can't you afford the same courtesy to other nurses?
I'm generally a pretty quiet person, but I believe in standing up for other people. So I just had to put this out there.
Thank-you This is a great post and well written. I agree that we are here to educate each other by sharing our knowledge and prof/ personal experiences. Its a great thing to take away posts, replies, and articles to advance the profession.
Could we be dealing with the multi-generational nursing workforce beliefs and values?
Thanks!
We are. The internet may not have been around for very long, but it's something that anybody can access. No computer? Public library has them for free.
And, because there are several generations on here, not everybody is going to say things the way that other people would expect. So while I'd halfway expect a Millennial poster to say "you deserve X, Y, and Z from work, and here's the exact answer you're looking for," I'd also expect a Baby Boomer to say "you need to work for it and do your own research. Then we'll talk."
Or, if I need a rant after a bad shift at work, I go to my younger coworkers. I need advice, I go to my older ones and say "I've tried this, I've tried that, I don't know what else to try. Will you help me out?"
People here will also word things the way that they would be said in real life, but without the non-verbal cues it may come across completely differently. It's been said before, it'll be said again.
Personally, I trend towards being blunt. Very limited emoticon use, and I will use the fewest words possible. Can that come across as being mean? Oh, certainly. But here's the other thing. I do not see why I should change my writing habits, my teaching habits, because it may make people upset. I love having students at work and they love me, because while I don't let them simply go off and play, I reinforce their book learning and teach them a few things that really aren't covered in school. And I make them laugh. (Rather hard to do via pixels and the written word, she said with a wry grin.)
We are. The internet may not have been around for very long, but it's something that anybody can access. No computer? Public library has them for free.
And, because there are several generations on here, not everybody is going to say things the way that other people would expect. So while I'd halfway expect a Millennial poster to say "you deserve X, Y, and Z from work, and here's the exact answer you're looking for," I'd also expect a Baby Boomer to say "you need to work for it and do your own research. Then we'll talk."
Or, if I need a rant after a bad shift at work, I go to my younger coworkers. I need advice, I go to my older ones and say "I've tried this, I've tried that, I don't know what else to try. Will you help me out?"
People here will also word things the way that they would be said in real life, but without the non-verbal cues it may come across completely differently. It's been said before, it'll be said again.
Personally, I trend towards being blunt. Very limited emoticon use, and I will use the fewest words possible. Can that come across as being mean? Oh, certainly. But here's the other thing. I do not see why I should change my writing habits, my teaching habits, because it may make people upset. I love having students at work and they love me, because while I don't let them simply go off and play, I reinforce their book learning and teach them a few things that really aren't covered in school. And I make them laugh. (Rather hard to do via pixels and the written word, she said with a wry grin.)
Eh, my two cents. Take it or leave it.
Well said.
I think one should take from the fact that it can also be cultural and past experiences; as a DV survivor or anyone who has endured someone trying to control them, the OP can be construed as someone trying to exert control on how one posts, and that could come off as defensive, however, one always resorts to self preservation, and no one looks at it this way, because who ever believed in their truth is so stuck on their position and can't see that their words can be just as hurtful to those people.
Just some self-reflection inspired by your post. :)
:yes:Thank you SO much for saying this! Too many times I've had the desire to ask a question I really wanted to post on here, but was afraid because of how quick the responders are to judge and bash. It's quite discouraging...
I do believe that this is a bit of an all-inclusive exaggeration, but I will ask you (since this is your honest perception): Does it really matter how anonymous folks respond to a particular post? While I don't know you, I have to believe that you can't possibly think that everyone on the Internet will post according to your standards of "appropriate" or "polite." The Internet (obviously) is open to any and all. It's quite logical that any single poster will be offended at times.
In my opinion, the wise thing for you to do is either 1) ignore posts that seem judgmental or harsh, or 2) stay off of forums that invite diverse attitudes and opinions.
Specializes in Oncology; medical specialty website.
I do believe that this is a bit of an all-inclusive exaggeration, but I will ask you (since this is your honest perception): Does it really matter how anonymous folks respond to a particular post? While I don't know you, I have to believe that you can't possibly think that everyone on the Internet will post according to your standards of "appropriate" or "polite." The Internet (obviously) is open to any and all. It's quite logical that any single poster will be offended at times.
In my opinion, the wise thing for you to do is either 1) ignore posts that seem judgmental or harsh, or 2) stay off of forums that invite diverse attitudes and opinions.
Or look your question up in a book. Books don't bite.
As a lifelong angry curmudgeonly jackass, I've gotten in my fair share of trouble on the Internet and in real life.
Miraculously, I still have a lot of friends, and a significant other and family who love me. Somehow I've managed to retain employment, and have great co-worker relationships and references too. I function, in my own way, in adult mainstream life. I've probably PO'd just as many people as I've made happy in life, and that's just fine with me. My loved ones tolerate me with a twisted mix of amusement and gratefulness.
I'm a realist, and generally hate idiots just enough to not really care if my directness and abrasiveness drives them away.
I am a fan of crabby, unreasonable, argumentative, rotten and black-hearted cynics who speak the truth no matter what the cost, for they are my tribe.
The most constructive criticism is also often the most abrasive.
Hug the curmudgeons of the world, for we are a desperately needed faction of humanity in this world of false cheer and fake platitude.
Mclennan, darlin', where have you been? I've missed you!
Or look your question up in a book. Books don't bite.
Actually they do. I remember those paper cuts fondly. Don't get so much anymore as as I haven't been a student in ages. Not to mention almost all of our paperwork is now computerized and even most of my pleasure reading is on a Nook.
I know when I was working, I would skip down the halls singing "La la, la la la..." while strewing flowers from a wicker basket and being followed by woodland creatures. Oh yeah, and the bluebird of happiness sat on my shoulder the whole time.
Isn't that how it is for everyone else in nursing?
Until the end of time, you will now be branded 'Snow White' in my brain.
No, literally. I did not write the NANDA-I book, although have contributed my on various diagnoses when asked, am on a NANDA-I committee (entirely volunteer, so no conflict of interest when I recommend the book), and have contributed to the next edition of a verrrrrry popular nursing diagnosis "handbook" even though I wish they did more to teach from the source (they paid me a bit for that, but not much and no ongoing royalties so I don't care if you buy it or not, so long as you get the NANDA-I too :) ).
Yes, but remember - we are referring to Special Snowflakes who will melt before you get all that out. lol
As nurses who are compassionate, we should try to be more civil to one another in general, however, sometimes you must be blunt in order to truly help the person with the issue.
But I gotta say it really makes me want to reach right through the screen and slap somebody when I have some student try to school me in nursing diagnosis ... that is all.
What, what??!!?! This I've gotta see! Is there a link??
What, what??!!?! This I've gotta see! Is there a link??
Now that Steve Jobs is dead, the research on the technology to make this possible is no longer on the table. Probably a good thing. :)
I forget what thread it was where a student was telling me that I was completely wrong about nursing diagnosis, gave me a link to a pastiche handbook that relied heavily on medical diagnoses and required detailed physiology while combining several nursing diagnoses into one that didn't appear in the taxonomy, and told me that because this is what she learned that was the only way to do it. Hmmmm. You might be able to find it.
Students, I'm not really violent. :flwrhrts: I really do want to help you learn to think like nurses, not like junior Houses, and I generally do pretty well at it. Remember, part of getting a professional education is becoming socialized into the role. When somebody with mumblemumble more years of experience in the trenches than you have offers you help and advice for no personal gain, don't argue. :) Just as when you get a new kitten and she gets hissed at a bit if she tries to play with the old lady's tail, so too do new grads get hissed at a bit until they pick up how to be a member of the team.
Specializes in Geriatrics, Mental Health, Community.
Loving this discussion.
As a lifelong angry curmudgeonly jackass, I've gotten in my fair share of trouble on the Internet and in real life.
Miraculously, I still have a lot of friends, and a significant other and family who love me. Somehow I've managed to retain employment, and have great co-worker relationships and references too. I function, in my own way, in adult mainstream life. I've probably PO'd just as many people as I've made happy in life, and that's just fine with me. My loved ones tolerate me with a twisted mix of amusement and gratefulness.
I'm a realist, and generally hate idiots just enough to not really care if my directness and abrasiveness drives them away.
I am a fan of crabby, unreasonable, argumentative, rotten and black-hearted cynics who speak the truth no matter what the cost, for they are my tribe.
The most constructive criticism is also often the most abrasive.
Hug the curmudgeons of the world, for we are a desperately needed faction of humanity in this world of false cheer and fake platitude.
This I've gotta see! Is there a link??
Nonyvole, BSN, RN
420 Posts
We are. The internet may not have been around for very long, but it's something that anybody can access. No computer? Public library has them for free.
And, because there are several generations on here, not everybody is going to say things the way that other people would expect. So while I'd halfway expect a Millennial poster to say "you deserve X, Y, and Z from work, and here's the exact answer you're looking for," I'd also expect a Baby Boomer to say "you need to work for it and do your own research. Then we'll talk."
Or, if I need a rant after a bad shift at work, I go to my younger coworkers. I need advice, I go to my older ones and say "I've tried this, I've tried that, I don't know what else to try. Will you help me out?"
People here will also word things the way that they would be said in real life, but without the non-verbal cues it may come across completely differently. It's been said before, it'll be said again.
Personally, I trend towards being blunt. Very limited emoticon use, and I will use the fewest words possible. Can that come across as being mean? Oh, certainly. But here's the other thing. I do not see why I should change my writing habits, my teaching habits, because it may make people upset. I love having students at work and they love me, because while I don't let them simply go off and play, I reinforce their book learning and teach them a few things that really aren't covered in school. And I make them laugh. (Rather hard to do via pixels and the written word, she said with a wry grin.)
Eh, my two cents. Take it or leave it.