Would you sacrifice to be able to go to nursing school

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Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.

I'm taking prereqs, but want opinions from those who've been through the grueling prereq process:

If your spouse asked you to leave the home, and you have 2 kids that were biologically yours and not his, (plus one more kid between the 2 of you) would you make finishing nursing school a priority or would you make earning an income your priority? For example, would you consider living in a small apartment to save on money so you could finish school? Or would you focus on getting a well paying full time job even if it meant quitting school?

I've been unemployed since April, but have been working my whole life and have managed to provide the majority of the financial support for all of us while working at home and not placing our kids in daycare. I wasn't able to keep my business going while finishing up micro this last semester. I'm highly confident that I can develop some income to be able to support my family, I just don't know if I can continue taking classes. It takes a lot of study time for me to be able to earn the grades that are required to get into the competitive BSN program in my area.

It's getting harder and harder to get the classes you need-and I got into great class times for Fall that work with my kids school schedule and everything.

I'm confused and sad. :crying2: for so many reasons.

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So he kicked you out with 3 kids? That's a tough situation. How old are the kids? At this point I, personally, would work to take care of my family, and then when they were more self sufficient go back to school. I'm sorry for the situation you have been put in :(

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.

I don't get what you mean he asked you to leave the home? I would move into a smaller place and make financial sacrifices because in the end it will be worth it. Would I give up an arm or something, no. I did have to allow my youngest child of 4 (left on 4th birthday) to go to her grandparents 1400 miles away for 6 weeks so I could finish school.

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Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.
I don't get what you mean he asked you to leave the home?

I don't think he'd make me leave, but it's not the 1st time he's asked me. If you don't get it, then it's probably because you haven't being married to a passive-aggressive non-committal type. :uhoh3:

I'm just trying to think through my situation so I can take the next steps. And I'm not making sense even to myself.

Re: sunshine daisy's comment, the kids are 16, 12 and 6 and very self sufficient, thank goodness.

I'm just confused and insecure about my future. And sad to consider what I'll have to give up.

I guess I should try to research ways people get A's and work full time with kids. That would be a more positive way of thinking.

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Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
I don't think he'd make me leave, but it's not the 1st time he's asked me. If you don't get it, then it's probably because you haven't being married to a passive-aggressive non-committal type. :uhoh3:

I'm just trying to think through my situation so I can take the next steps. And I'm not making sense even to myself.

Re: sunshine daisy's comment, the kids are 16, 12 and 6 and very self sufficient, thank goodness.

I'm just confused and insecure about my future. And sad to consider what I'll have to give up.

I guess I should try to research ways people get A's and work full time with kids. That would be a more positive way of thinking.

I know all about jerks, I just didn't get if you meant he was telling you to get out on your own and leave the kids, Take the kids or he is telling you to get out and work or what not. It was confusing in your post. he can't just kick you and the kids out, legally.

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Specializes in Private Practice- wellness center.

Sacrifice for now...when you graduate you'll be able to support the kids that are left at home AND yourself. It'll be hard in the interim, but once the goal is met, it'll be worth it.

Good luck, and I'm sorry you found one of "those."

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Personally, unless I was independently wealthy enough not to have to take out student loans, I would not go to nursing school in the situation described above. There is way too much financial risk involved and the potential to end up deep in debt with no nursing job (either because I'd be unable to successfully complete nursing school with 3 kids on my own and no help OR not able to find a job in the bad economy). If it were me in that situation, I'd shelve nursing as an idea and continue with whatever career was earning a living for you previously.

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I'm with those who say make the sacrifice now.

Get nursing school over with ASAP.

You will be in a more stable position when you are done.

I had only gotten my acceptance letter into nursing school when my husband told me he wanted a divorce.

We (or I) tried to fix things, but when I found out he (and his gal pal) was just pretending and only waiting for me to finish school so he wouldn't look like a heel, leaving me with a low paying job... I was done... with him.

I sacrificed being able to have full custody of my children. The lawyers said I could not have it, as long as I was in school, due to "the unpredictable nature" of my schedule.

I was furious and almost quit then... but where would I be later?

Still making CNA pay.

I made that sacrifice and trudged on.

I have the disgrace of being a mom without full custody. I feel like when people hear that they think I was a bad mom. It hurts.

I couldn't even get residential.

I had to do it and my kids (13 and 11) understand what I am trying to do and they are my babies regardless and I love them dearly.

I also had to sacrifice my status at work to fully concentrate on school... so no more tuition reimbursement and no insurance.

I just keep my eye on the prize.

We have also just found out my ex has stage 3 colon cancer... what if chemo doesn't work? What if I have to fully care for my kids without another parent?

You have to think about the future and be ready for it.

You never know what it brings.

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Move to a smaller apartment. Sacrifice although if you can get rid of your husband now, do it. Otherwise you may end up paying him alimony if you go to nursing school and get a decent paying job. Do what you gotta do.

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I agree with the posters recommending finishing nursing school. It will be a sacrifice & it will be tough but you should be better off in the end. The economy is bound to get better, it always does (I'm older and have experienced this type of thing many times), and you'll have more options. If you were to get divorced, he should be paying child support so that will help. Also, there may be financial aid you qualify for if you're a divorced mom & in school. Look into all those possibilities too. My sister had 1 child and was divorced. She was able to get all her school paid for, daycare assistance and medical care for her child - all for free! It can be done. Good luck to you.

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I would make the sacrifices - instead of a BSN program (3 years or longer) how about ADN or even LPN - it will put you out in the workforce faster, as well as cost less and still allow you to earn a decent salary and then continue for the BSN when things are more stable...

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Specializes in Critical Care, Med-Surg, Psych, Geri, LTC, Tele,.

Mi Vida Loca: He does want me to take the 3 kids with me.

KristeyK Thanks for the input-I'm strongly considering doing just what you said- sacrificing now in order to achieve my long term goals.

33762FL: Thanks for the loans warning. I'm not considering taking out loans. I'm just considering reducing my "standard of living" [ie] not moving to a home but instead to an apartment and maybe not in the best of areas in order to finish school.

Hygeine Queen: Thanks for your personal story and advice. It really hit home. I'm sorry that you have to miss your kids when they aren't with you. Please don't feel disgrace. Everyone should know that with the current law, parents who ask get 50%, which frequently leaves moms without full custody. Your kids are old, like mine (LOL!) so, if you talk to them, I'm sure they'll get it.

Leenak: You brought up a very important point about alimony.

Thanks for the BTDT stories ladies. I was a single mom for 7 years and have been married for over 8. I did it before (worked and went to school) and believe that just as God was with me before, that he is with me now and will help me to do it again.

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