Would like therapy, need advice

**CommunityRNBSN, BSN, RN** · Apr 23, 2020

Here is my opinion. You said you need someone to vent to, but you don’t think you need a diagnosis or medication. You are going through some life stressors that would make anyone feel distress. Find yourself a LMFT or a social worker who does counseling. Then, with a clean conscience, state that you never sought psychiatric help. You aren’t going to be seeing a psychiatrist or a psychologist. You will be seeing someone who isn’t even allowed to give you a diagnosis! It’s not psychiatric help. It’s a listening ear.

On the other question— could your job find out, if you pay for the sessions through your insurance— I have no idea. Some towns have volunteers who will do therapy for free, or a discounted rate, and you could bypass your insurance altogether.

Closed Account 12345 · Apr 23, 2020

I agree with the previous poster. Speaking with a counselor is not seeking psychiatric help.

A new baby, ER nursing during a global pandemic, and worrying about your parents' marriage is a lot to deal with at one time. There's no shame in talking through your feelings with someone. Allowing yourself to process your thoughts and feelings and enhancing your coping, anxiety-management, stress relief, or whatever skills will benefit not only you, but your loved ones as well.

I'd also say I think more people have sought counseling than you'd ever guess. It is so common. I'd bet you at least 75% of my friends and family, all of whom I'd consider stable, functional people, have been to counseling at one point.

There's no reason your job or co-workers ever need to know. Counseling records are highly protected for privacy.

To put your mind at ease, I don't think Board renewals or related documents ask about "psychiatric help" in general, but involuntary admissions and if you've received treatment for specific psych diagnoses that could impair your nursing practice in previous 5 years or something. (Even then, that's not a deal breaker. Your provider would just provide documentation that you are mentally well enough to practice, I believe. There'd be no reason for an employer to have this knowledge.)

It's OK to take care of yourself. Nothing is "wrong" with you just because you're feeling situationally overwhelmed... You're human! God designed us for relationship; allow someone who is trained walk alongside you and help carry these burdens.

Guest1142305 · Apr 23, 2020

It’s an unspeakable shame that our society stigmatizes mental illness but selectively treats other disabilities as acceptable.

FolksBtrippin, BSN, RN · Apr 23, 2020

9 hours ago, nic k said:
I am going through tough times. Transitioning from maternity leave to ER RN. Parents also going through potential divorce which devastates me. I'm scared to seek therapy due to the stigma and my job finding out as well as having to now check boxes on all sorts of forms stating I've “seeked psychiatric help”. Its frustrating that to just speek to someone and vent, now needs to be publicized for all to know it feels like. I dont want meds I dont want to be diagnosed, I simply want someone to vent to who is not friends or family, basically someone who is not emotionally attached because I sinply dont need them getting upset WITH me. But seeking therapy so to say, is too risky. I need advice on where to go, your opinions, and who to speak to as well as anyone else feeling this way please let me know

Even if you one day need to be hospitalized for a mental health issue, even if things got that bad, you dont ever have to check yes on those boxes. Your private mental health information is just that... private. No one can find out without your permission, so don't give it. That's your right.

speedynurse, ADN, BSN, RN, EMT-P · Apr 23, 2020

You have several issues going on right now. You are probably going through the natural post-partum hormones, the anxiety that most ED nurses are going through in going to their jobs with being on the frontlines with many COVID patients/COVID ICU holds, worrying about bringing home the virus to your tiny baby, and then your parents' divorce.

First, counseling in my opinion is not psychiatric help. It is talking to a counselor when you are going through a hard time.

Second, a new baby, re-entering a job, and re-entering a job in the middle of a pandemic is enough to provoke anxiety and fear.

Take care of yourself and your little one and good luck with your future decisions.

vampiregirl, BSN, RN · Apr 25, 2020

Agree that the stigma with seeking assistance for mental health is detrimental.

As other poster's have discussed, these are unprecedented times in general even if one doesn't have additional personal stressors... which the OP does.

One of the roles of counseling or any other type of mental health assistance is to teach tools to cope with stressors and increase mental wellness. A professional can help an individual identify what tools will be most helpful for them... coping strategies and tools are not one size fits all!

Best of luck to the OP, and anyone else facing mental health challenges!

MarkMyWords · May 2, 2020

My advice is never to check that you saw a psychiatr ist on a form...the word will get out and you may never know it.

Seeing a MSW or psychologist can still be expensive and may not help you, in the end. It's been shown that venting alone is ineffective and sometimes you can feel worse, despite the conventional wisdom. Social workers and some psychologists or counselors have neither the rigorous training nor the therapeutic techniques to resolve your distress. It sounds like you need a specialist. Mental health professionals will say they understand but so many times, they really don't. Good luck!

Guest1142305 · May 2, 2020

4 hours ago, Mywords1 said:
My advice is never to check that you saw a psychiatr ist on a form...the word will get out and you may never know it.
Seeing a MSW or psychologist can still be expensive and may not help you, in the end. It's been shown that venting alone is ineffective and sometimes you can feel worse, despite the conventional wisdom. Social workers and some psychologists or counselors have neither the rigorous training nor the therapeutic techniques to resolve your distress. It sounds like you need a specialist. Mental health professionals will say they understand but so many times, they really don't. Good luck!

Last time I checked licensed social workers and psychologists have thousands of clinical hours and specialized training. I’m not sure where you’re getting the idea that they lack rigorous training. A dear friend of mine is an LCSW and her minimum clinical hour requirement was 2000 hours.

Daisy4RN · May 2, 2020

Sorry you are going through a difficult period right now. If you are religious maybe speak to you Church pastor ( or equivalent). They usually provide counseling services. Even if you are not affiliated with any house of worship you could still try and see if they are open to it, many are. These sessions would be private and confidential. Hope it is going better!

JadedCPN, BSN, RN · May 2, 2020

5 hours ago, Mywords1 said:
My advice is never to check that you saw a psychiatr ist on a form...the word will get out and you may never know it.
Seeing a MSW or psychologist can still be expensive and may not help you, in the end. It's been shown that venting alone is ineffective and sometimes you can feel worse, despite the conventional wisdom. Social workers and some psychologists or counselors have neither the rigorous training nor the therapeutic techniques to resolve your distress. It sounds like you need a specialist. Mental health professionals will say they understand but so many times, they really don't. Good luck!

I'm sorry, what?

What type of specialist do you recommend if you don't think mental health specialists like social workers, psychologists, or counselors don't qualify?

MarkMyWords · May 4, 2020

I didn't say that they don't qualify. I said some psychologists do not have the rigorous training--obviously, not all. Some of them are not so good, and it may be hard to find a therapist that is right for the OP (or any of us). By rigorous, I mean knowledge of the strategies, current research and applications and ability to understand the OP's personal history in depth. Many therapists in academia and private and public practice lack this and are superficial, at least in my area.

But she doesn't want this. Maybe your minister, or religious counselor? They are not therapists but perhaps they will listen.