working vs school, not seeing kids

Nurses General Nursing

Published

  • Specializes in Med/Surg, ER and ICU!!!.

Hey guys,

I am having a hard time missing my kids (boys 9 and 4). My husband and I have been married for over 9 yrs. I am a "new" LVN by 4 months. I am planning on going back to school plus working a 40 hour job. This semester and next I will be receiving pell grants. After that, I know due to my income, I will not receive much help. Now my plans are to go to school m,t,w,th from 8a until a little after 12. (a&p1, algebra, government, and english2) I am working HH from 11p-7a. My concern is my kids. I will be working m-f, so I will have the weekends off. I guess I am saying I need a little encouragement from those of you who have done this, are doing this, and plan to do this. I am worried that in the long run I am hurting my kids, and not being a good mom. I have fought myself on this since before July. I need to go back to school. We are not even living paycheck to paycheck. (we do not have cc, we do not smoke, drink, or do drugs!) We live in a crappy trailer (renting), and have 2 old cars that need work done on them. Where I am, as an LVN, we are making around 11 an hour. I am not money hungry, I just want to have a little in the bank in case of emergency, and a LITTLE bit better home, maybe one that has insulation :) Thanks for all the POSITIVE input, I do not think I could handle negative right now. Thanks. Texas

MS Kathy

47 Posts

I wrestle with this also. I plan on taking out all the Loans I can as far as subsidized and unsubsidized federal loans.

I'm a single mom with 4 kids and I'm going to have class an hour from where I live- I worry about spending enough time with them and helping with homework, I just came to the point where I could not justify working in addition to all of this. It can be done don't let fear hold you back from going to school.

Personally I pray a lot and I have lots of people praying for me.

Practically speaking- can you take any classes online?

I think this is a good option for basic ed courses for students that need some flexibility on the actual time spent away from home when you also have to be away for work.

Kathy

texas_lvn

427 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg, ER and ICU!!!.
I wrestle with this also. I plan on taking out all the Loans I can as far as subsidized and unsubsidized federal loans.

I'm a single mom with 4 kids and I'm going to have class an hour from where I live- I worry about spending enough time with them and helping with homework, I just came to the point where I could not justify working in addition to all of this. It can be done don't let fear hold you back from going to school.

Personally I pray a lot and I have lots of people praying for me.

Practically speaking- can you take any classes online?

I think this is a good option for basic ed courses for students that need some flexibility on the actual time spent away from home when you also have to be away for work.

Kathy

Thanks for responding. I plan on taking all the loans out I can, then maybe I can cut back on hours, but the only way to do this is work. I am grateful that I have my two kids. Cudos to you for having four! I will see about the online classes. Thanks. Texas

babynurselsa, RN

1,129 Posts

Specializes in ER, NICU, NSY and some other stuff.

(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

I know your pain. Just remeber that this too shall pass. School will not last forever and I am sure that those kiddos are the main reason that you would like to improve your lives. For a little while you will have to capitalize quality instead of quantity. I know it is hard but you guys will survive.

texas_lvn

427 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg, ER and ICU!!!.
(((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))))))

I know your pain. Just remeber that this too shall pass. School will not last forever and I am sure that those kiddos are the main reason that you would like to improve your lives. For a little while you will have to capitalize quality instead of quantity. I know it is hard but you guys will survive.

The arrows are pointed out to show I am returning the hug back. Thanks for the words of wisdom, and yes, the #1 reason is for my boys, and my grandbabies (in 20+ years), and their babies, LOL, you get the picture :chuckle :balloons: Thanks. Texas

ShayRN

1,046 Posts

Specializes in Corrections, Cardiac, Hospice.

I have had to work opposite shift from my dh for the last 6 years so that my children wouldn't have to go into daycare fulltime. They are there for about an hour or two between him coming home and me going to work. Yet STILL I have some people passing judgement about me working. Well, who is watching your children while you are here? (Bet my husband never gets asked that.) Or my favorite, at least I am the one raising my kids. Ummmm, HELLO! My children know who mom is! (this one was said by my "best friend." Her husband won't let her work, but he goes out and works 16 hour days to pay the bills. So, yeah she is there but they don't know their dad!) I was raised by a single mother who worked 60+ hours a week and believe me when I tell you, as far as my brother and I are concerned she walks on water, lol. The point of all this is, there is more than one way to take care of your children. One way is to be a SAHM and the other is to go out, work and put food on the table. Ten years from now your kids are going to say, "I don't know how mom did it, working, going to school and taking care of us, but if she can do all that maybe I can get through school.:specs: " Good luck, hon.

texas_lvn

427 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg, ER and ICU!!!.
Yet STILL I have some people passing judgement about me working. Well, who is watching your children while you are here? (Bet my husband never gets asked that.) Or my favorite, at least I am the one raising my kids. Ummmm, HELLO! My children know who mom is! (this one was said by my "best friend." Her husband won't let her work, but he goes out and works 16 hour days to pay the bills. So, yeah she is there but they don't know their dad!) I was raised by a single mother who worked 60+ hours a week and believe me when I tell you, as far as my brother and I are concerned she walks on water, lol. The point of all this is, there is more than one way to take care of your children. One way is to be a SAHM and the other is to go out, work and put food on the table. Ten years from now your kids are going to say, "I don't know how mom did it, working, going to school and taking care of us, but if she can do all that maybe I can get through school.:specs: " Good luck, hon.

THANK YOU for your words. I am going to print this out and put it in my notebooks and remember this. I needed to hear *read* this. Thanks.

Saved_by_Grace

337 Posts

Providing a better quality of life for your children is admirable, respectable, and very responsible. Look at all you are willing to self sacrifice to better their lives. That is awesome! They will love you and cherish you for it.

My mother died when I was only 10 years old, but I remember when she was alive that at one point she was holding down 3 jobs, and a married mother of 3 children. In my eyes, my mother was so selfless and I love her for her actions.

Granted every moment you can spend with your child is priceless, but so is a roof over their heads and needs being met. Like another poster said, it's quality definitely not quantity. I'm now a mother of 3 myself, ages 9,7, and 3 and I will be going to school full time and possibly needing to work at some point as well. And I'm not going to feel bad about it, because my kids know I love them more than life itself and that all my hard work is so they can have a better life. And they love me for that. When I feel down about being away from them so much, I think of their beautiful faces and remember that they are the reason I am doing this. :) Kudos to you. ((((hugs))) :icon_hug: Take care and God bless you through your journey!

Specializes in PeriOp, ICU, PICU, NICU.

That is perhaps the biggest sacrifice school vs. family. All I can say to you is that you are doing this not only for yourself but for your children as well. Time will fly, so it will be worth the sacrifice. Then when it is all done and said, you'll and the kids will look back and feel good about it. Best of luck to you. :)

jwhitaker23

15 Posts

I know exactly what you mean about struggling with whether or not what you're doing is worth the time that you're spending away from your kids. I know that I'm struggling with this right now with starting school and working full time. Right now I work full time during the day and will be taking classes at night and online. But my future plan once I complete my CNA is to working 3-12s Friday, Saturday and Sunday while taking nursing classes at night to complete my RN. This way I have all day during the day to be able to spend time with my wife and daughter, plus some time on the weekend as well.

texas_lvn

427 Posts

Specializes in Med/Surg, ER and ICU!!!.

Thank you all. It is nice to know that I am not alone, but I feel for each of you. With all the support groups out there, I am surprised they have not came up with one for this subject, but then again, we would be away from family during the meetings! :chuckle

I appreciate your support and encouragement. Texas

SmilingBluEyes

20,964 Posts

Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

I agree with lisa...

when in school, its about QUALITY not QUANTITY........time w/your kids.

Make the most of it.

This is how it should be in life, anyhow.

Good luck.

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