I am having a hard time missing my kids (boys 9 and 4). My husband and I have been married for over 9 yrs. I am a "new" LVN by 4 months. I am planning on going back to school plus working a 40 hour job. This semester and next I will be receiving pell grants. After that, I know due to my income, I will not receive much help. Now my plans are to go to school m,t,w,th from 8a until a little after 12. (a&p1, algebra, government, and english2) I am working HH from 11p-7a. My concern is my kids. I will be working m-f, so I will have the weekends off. I guess I am saying I need a little encouragement from those of you who have done this, are doing this, and plan to do this. I am worried that in the long run I am hurting my kids, and not being a good mom. I have fought myself on this since before July. I need to go back to school. We are not even living paycheck to paycheck. (we do not have cc, we do not smoke, drink, or do drugs!) We live in a crappy trailer (renting), and have 2 old cars that need work done on them. Where I am, as an LVN, we are making around 11 an hour. I am not money hungry, I just want to have a little in the bank in case of emergency, and a LITTLE bit better home, maybe one that has insulation :) Thanks for all the POSITIVE input, I do not think I could handle negative right now. Thanks. Texas
when in school, its about QUALITY not QUANTITY time w/your kids.
This is the saying that I had to reinforce in my head when I started my prerequisites 3 weeks after giving birth to my daughter. I was afraid that becuase I was working full time and going to school full time my little angel wouldnt know who I was. Boy oh boy was I wrong!! :) That lil girl just turned 2yr last week and she is the definition of "mommys baby"! I took A&PI and A&PII this summer which meant working 7a-3p M-F and then class 6p-10p M-Th, which in turn for my baby meant no mommy from 645a to 1020p four days a week. Ive forced myself to remember in the long run this is going to be better for my lil girl. She wont remember that I played with her for only 1/2 hour on some days, but she will remember that mommy was in the living room playing ring around the rosy and london bridge!! As for what other people say: they have no right to say anything. What works for you may not work for them but then again what works for them may not work for you. Its your life and you need to do what you gotta do to make it a good one!! Ive had family members ask me how am I working and going to school full time when my daughter is so young this is the time I need to be around to build her foundation. The first time I started to cry but after I thought about what was best for us, my daughter myself and my fiance, my family I decided I couldnt care less about anyone elses opinion. I sure did prove alot of people wrong too! My daughter is very smart, independent, out spoken, umm you name I bet she has the quality including stubborn and hardheaded!!. Shes only 2yr and knows her numbers up to 15 she says her alphabet and we are working on colors. As for daycare, my daughter started going to a babysitter who watches three other children (all in the same age area) about 10 mths ago. Ever since Ive noticed a great improvement in her vocabulary and social skills (she knows how to share!! ). It might have been one of the best choices Ive made.
Just remember what works for you may not work for someone else. And of course someone is going to give you the two sense you dont need. So always keep YOUR plan in focus and brush off all the negativity.
PS I start Nursing I Aug 29th and I cant wait. Its going to be a couple years of sacrifice. But then Ive heard you can sacrifice now or sacrifice later. Im choosing now!!
From the original post with the kids ages I dont see you missing them much with that schedule, with one note is the 4 year old starting school now or not for another year? You stated school for you in the AM- when they are in school. Working you mentioned at night most likely they are sleeping. Yes you arent going to "see" them and be with them to provide comfort if and when they need it but they are not going to really miss you that much unless you change that schedule drasticly. Bettering one's self is going to better the children. They will see how hard you are trying and will pick that up and try harder themselves.
Good luck and welcome.
RJ
Hey guys,
I am having a hard time missing my kids (boys 9 and 4). My husband and I have been married for over 9 yrs. I am a "new" LVN by 4 months. I am planning on going back to school plus working a 40 hour job. This semester and next I will be receiving pell grants. After that, I know due to my income, I will not receive much help. Now my plans are to go to school m,t,w,th from 8a until a little after 12. (a&p1, algebra, government, and english2) I am working HH from 11p-7a. My concern is my kids. I will be working m-f, so I will have the weekends off. I guess I am saying I need a little encouragement from those of you who have done this, are doing this, and plan to do this. I am worried that in the long run I am hurting my kids, and not being a good mom. I have fought myself on this since before July. I need to go back to school. We are not even living paycheck to paycheck. (we do not have cc, we do not smoke, drink, or do drugs!) We live in a crappy trailer (renting), and have 2 old cars that need work done on them. Where I am, as an LVN, we are making around 11 an hour. I am not money hungry, I just want to have a little in the bank in case of emergency, and a LITTLE bit better home, maybe one that has insulation :) Thanks for all the POSITIVE input, I do not think I could handle negative right now. Thanks. Texas
I am in school for my RN. I graduate this year. I have one little one. I work part time. However, when I was little, my mother worked all day from 8 to 430. She went to full school full time at night. My sister and I were latch key kids. We got ourselves off to school in the morning(she was 3 years older) and came home. We did homework and cleaned up the house to keep us out of trouble. We cooked and ate supper. We said goodnight to Mom - she got home around bedtime. We saw her while she was studying during the weekend. I did not resent my mother. I did not feel cheated. THe only emotion I honestly remember was being very, VERY proud of my Mom. One of my happiest childhood memories was of my mother's college graduation.
Hi honey- I just finished school in May. (passed Nclex last month-now have RN after my name! ) I am now working full time and for the first time in our married life, we are making ends meet. I work 3 12's, my dh works crazy hours all the time, but we are managing around each other. Everyone gave you great advice- you CAN do it, but it will not be easy. I won't lie to you. Just keep the light at the end of the tunnel in front of you- even on your worst days.
My kids are now 5&4. I also worked midnights (but only 2-3/week)all through school.
Most important thing I'll say is TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF first. You will run ragged getting to work, taking care of the kids, studying, doing your regular routine-make sure you get your sleep-#1 priority or you'll be no good for anything. I'm definately(sp?) NOT being negative here- I hope I don't sound that way. I'm saying you can do it, you will do it- just be prepared for how emotionally and mentally (physically too) drained you will be. Hopefully preparing for that will help you get through. Ask for help! from anyone- family, neighbors, friends.(people you trust)
I also felt like I wasn't there for my kids(dh also) but I think that is part of being a parent. *You have to do the best you can with what you've got.*
That told to me by my marriage counselor- w/out her, I would not have finished school, my marriage would have been over 2 years ago, who knows where I would be now. Get a support system- if you don't have one-find a therapist like we did.
Specializes in med/surg, ortho/neuro, ambulatory surg.
[i agree with everyone else you can do it, it wont be easy but you can do it!!! I have a 15 month old and a 5 year old I have 1 year down and 3 more to go!!!! I started school 3 months after my daughter was born and there are days I think OMG what have I done but look atthe big picture you are doing this so you and your kids can have a BETTER life!! That is what gets me through my tough days!
THank you guys soooo much. I was skeptical at first, but you have really given me words of encouragment. Everything that has been said, I have taken on a positive note. Thank you all. I feel more confident and "ready to roll" then ever before! Thank you, Thank you, Thank you!
Texas LVN, I empathize with you wholly. I have three children ages 4, 6 and 8 and I cannot remember a time I wasn't either going to school or working. I feel like I missed out on a lot of precious time, and I'm trying to see that no more time is lost than absolutely has to be lost.
While I understand your despair over losing time with your children, I also understand your drive to continue your education and know what it feels like to be torn between the two.
The way I look at it is this: I love my children and one of the best ways I can prove it to them is making sure I can provide for their needs...not their needs to have the latest toys or gadgets, but to not have to worry about where their next meal is coming from, or if they will have electricity, water and a phone at the end of the month.
If your rent is cheap you can at least feel comfort knowing you are ahead of a lot of others. My sister recently had to move back in with my mother after she could not afford to pay $750 a month in rent because she was trying to live like she was making $70 grand a year on $37 grand. Same goes for car payments. An old paid for car is better than a new car that eats your lunch every month (no matter how it sounds, making that car payment will never be easy, and it really bites to be paying money into something that depreciates in value every day).
I started out as an LPN, knew I needed to get another degree but could not spend the time in classroom I needed. So I went the distance learning route. It was easier as far as not having to spend all that time in class. All in all I feel it was worth it. I was a little concerned about how my degree would be looked upon at first but I have faced no discrimination whatsoever, thank goodness. I'm now looking into an online RN to BSN program. It might be something for you to consider if you would like to find ways to spend more time with your children.
I am in total agreement with all the others here. And my struggle was the same as yours. After being a stay at home mom for 11 years, I knew I needed to go back to school and get a job that would help improve our lives. I miss my children terribly but I keep thinking that it will pass. I cannot give my children quantity time right now, but I make sure that I hear them and respond to them when I am available and let them know that they will always be taken care of. I have also discovered the wonderful world of HELP and support from my husband and friends. My husband is a much more involved father now because he has to be. Before, he worked 3 jobs at a time and never saw his kids. He loves being more available and can't wait until he is down to one job! :) (he still has 2). My friends have come through for us, too, when dh had to leave the children because of a work emergency. I keep telling myself that this isn't just about me, but my husband and my children. Hugs to you. Keep up the good work! You are a great mom!
I work full-time as an LVN and am taking pre-req's part-time. It is hard but think of the outcome and what a better life you and your family will have. That's what keeps me going. Your education is an investment in your future! Good Luck- you can do it!!!
I am in school for my RN. I graduate this year. I have one little one. I work part time. However, when I was little, my mother worked all day from 8 to 430. She went to full school full time at night. My sister and I were latch key kids. We got ourselves off to school in the morning(she was 3 years older) and came home. We did homework and cleaned up the house to keep us out of trouble. We cooked and ate supper. We said goodnight to Mom - she got home around bedtime. We saw her while she was studying during the weekend. I did not resent my mother. I did not feel cheated. THe only emotion I honestly remember was being very, VERY proud of my Mom. One of my happiest childhood memories was of my mother's college graduation.
Your kids will be just fine.
DITTO. I REMEMBER WATCHING A PRIMETIME NEWS SHOW WHEN I WAS ABOUT 14 AND I THOUGHT- I WAS A LATCH KEY KID? I do not ever remember feeling like one and I too was proud of my mom. Dad worked away and came home on weekends and spent time with us. I remember wondering about all her late nights and finding out she was dissecting her cat in the evenings. YUCK!!! :uhoh21:
Could you go to school part-time? If you go to school M-Th from 8am-12pm (after working all night) then to work from 11-7am, when will you sleep? Unless you have someone to watch the kids in the afternoon so you can sleep, I feel it would just be too much. What if you just took 2 class's M&W or T&Th, you would have a day off between them and would be much less stressed out, or take on-line class's. Just a thought.
Hey guys,
I am having a hard time missing my kids (boys 9 and 4). My husband and I have been married for over 9 yrs. I am a "new" LVN by 4 months. I am planning on going back to school plus working a 40 hour job. This semester and next I will be receiving pell grants. After that, I know due to my income, I will not receive much help. Now my plans are to go to school m,t,w,th from 8a until a little after 12. (a&p1, algebra, government, and english2) I am working HH from 11p-7a. My concern is my kids. I will be working m-f, so I will have the weekends off. I guess I am saying I need a little encouragement from those of you who have done this, are doing this, and plan to do this. I am worried that in the long run I am hurting my kids, and not being a good mom. I have fought myself on this since before July. I need to go back to school. We are not even living paycheck to paycheck. (we do not have cc, we do not smoke, drink, or do drugs!) We live in a crappy trailer (renting), and have 2 old cars that need work done on them. Where I am, as an LVN, we are making around 11 an hour. I am not money hungry, I just want to have a little in the bank in case of emergency, and a LITTLE bit better home, maybe one that has insulation :) Thanks for all the POSITIVE input, I do not think I could handle negative right now. Thanks. Texas
r_janice
175 Posts
This is the saying that I had to reinforce in my head when I started my prerequisites 3 weeks after giving birth to my daughter. I was afraid that becuase I was working full time and going to school full time my little angel wouldnt know who I was. Boy oh boy was I wrong!! :) That lil girl just turned 2yr last week and she is the definition of "mommys baby"! I took A&PI and A&PII this summer which meant working 7a-3p M-F and then class 6p-10p M-Th, which in turn for my baby meant no mommy from 645a to 1020p four days a week. Ive forced myself to remember in the long run this is going to be better for my lil girl. She wont remember that I played with her for only 1/2 hour on some days, but she will remember that mommy was in the living room playing ring around the rosy and london bridge!! As for what other people say: they have no right to say anything. What works for you may not work for them but then again what works for them may not work for you. Its your life and you need to do what you gotta do to make it a good one!! Ive had family members ask me how am I working and going to school full time when my daughter is so young this is the time I need to be around to build her foundation. The first time I started to cry but after I thought about what was best for us, my daughter myself and my fiance, my family I decided I couldnt care less about anyone elses opinion. I sure did prove alot of people wrong too! My daughter is very smart, independent, out spoken, umm you name I bet she has the quality including stubborn and hardheaded!!. Shes only 2yr and knows her numbers up to 15 she says her alphabet and we are working on colors. As for daycare, my daughter started going to a babysitter who watches three other children (all in the same age area) about 10 mths ago. Ever since Ive noticed a great improvement in her vocabulary and social skills (she knows how to share!! ). It might have been one of the best choices Ive made.
Just remember what works for you may not work for someone else. And of course someone is going to give you the two sense you dont need. So always keep YOUR plan in focus and brush off all the negativity.
PS I start Nursing I Aug 29th and I cant wait. Its going to be a couple years of sacrifice. But then Ive heard you can sacrifice now or sacrifice later. Im choosing now!!