Womens interest in male nurses

Nurses Men

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I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.

When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can’t a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?

If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.

I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it’s a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.

I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls

Well Corvette Guy,

The problem your having is cause of your name....CORVETTE guy...lol

Sorry Mustang fan....BTW hello from Lakewood...I work on McChord, civilian contracted nurse with them!!!

Annette

Specializes in Med-Surg, Geriatric, Behavioral Health.
It's more about the confidence, character, and caring you show as a man than your "job status."

Very good point.

Specializes in Telemetry, OR, ICU.
Well Corvette Guy,

The problem your having is cause of your name....CORVETTE guy...lol

Sorry Mustang fan....BTW hello from Lakewood...I work on McChord, civilian contracted nurse with them!!!

Annette

Annette - No need to apologize, its okay that you drive a Stang.

Are you a GS RN at McChord?

No they don't have any GS nursing positions. I am a contracted LPN at their clinic. I like working with the military...the pay works well getting me thru school.

I take it you are at the lovely MAMC??

Annette

Specializes in Telemetry, OR, ICU.
No they don't have any GS nursing positions. I am a contracted LPN at their clinic. I like working with the military...the pay works well getting me thru school.

I take it you are at the lovely MAMC??

Annette

Yes, I'll be assigned to MAMC ICU. First, I start a 16 week Critical Care course at Madigan on the 23rd.

My wife, also an RN, starts tomorrow at Providence St Peters in Olympia.

Congrats to you and your wife...I am not too familiar with Olympia, only lived here for 2 1/2 years. I take it you just PCSed here? MAMC, can get a bad reputation...but so does McChord. Healthcare is a difficult thing to run when you got people coming and going constantly. But the ICU should be fun!!!

Let me know if you and your wife need any ideas on nice areas in Washington....

annette

Specializes in Peds.

Maybe I live in my own little world but I hadn't really thought twice about men in nursing seeming 'different'. I'm still in school and there are two guys in my graduating class. Both are kind and compassionate and will make great nurses. Both are also very much male. One is military and spent time in Iraq and the other is a former trucker with a love of Harley's. I have a male friend who is a nurse anesthetist ... also very much male. Actually, I have an openly gay male friend, a nurse, who is very much male as well.

My husband, a typical engineer personality, hasn't always been the most sensitive sort..... (I'm not saying engineer's can't be sensitive....just DH)... but as we age, he's learning..... thank goodness. I love the sweet and sensitive man....

Unfortunately, there are always going to be people out there who are either short sighted, ignorant or both.

Good luck!

Specializes in Case Manager, Home Health.
I had a picture a couple of years ago that an agency was doing to help promote men in nursing. The title of it was "It takes a real man to be a nurse". There were men in that picture that you would have been surprised to see as a nurse.

The picture (poster) commissioned by the Oregon Center for Nursing can be viewed at: http://www.oregoncenterfornursing.org/documents/poster_67k.jpg

The poster helps raise funds for the Oregon Center for Nursing which is a non-prof. This is the link to get the poster:

http://www.oregoncenterfornursing.org/documents/OCNPosterOrderForm.pdf

Regards,

Ken

Specializes in Case Manager, Home Health.
I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring.

No kidding! Nail on the head there. Your assessment skills are excellent.

Women want both. If you give 'em one they want the other and visa versa.

When they are younger they seem to go more for whatever they feel is the "manly sort." And after years of enduring a lack of sensitivity they find what they really wanted after all is a "sensitive and caring" man.

Frankly, in me, these slow learners find a lack of sensitivity for their emotional baggage from having chosen a "manly sort" in the first place. Those who wouldn't give the time of day to a "sensitive" man now want one to help make it all better--not here, thank you. [vent mode=off now] hehe

Just my 2¢

Ken

Specializes in Case Manager, Home Health.
BTW, I was an aircraft electrician in the USMC, 1980-1988.

Electronic radar technician, USAF 1975-1979 here. The GI Bill bought my BA in Business Finance. ;)

Ken

Thanks for that excellent and refreshing poster, Ken! I have seen but never read it carefully before. I will spread it to my nursing friends. :)

It's definitely possible and preferable for a guy to be both confident, goal-oriented, and take-charge PLUS sensitive, empathetic, caring, and considerate. Women love that.

Not only that---these qualities are what nursing teaches and requires of ALL nurses, male or female!

Look at how women idolize what they call the "gamma male" in romance novels or films---a Highlander or Mel Gibson type who conquers the world, protects his woman, overcomes great odds, and holds a baby's hand, listens well, and shows great compassion for the downtrodden and unhappy.

Just don't get stuck in the stereotypical "nice guy" category---a doormat, a pushover, a guy who tries too hard to please, or a guy with no idea of whom he is. It's all about balance and showing the appropriate side of ourselves at the right times.

Also, I view a negative reaction by women to a man in nursing as a quick way to filter out those women who are too backward, narrowminded, conformist, or too much of a social climber to be worth more than a few moments of my time. ;)

Thanks for that excellent and refreshing poster, Ken! I have seen but never read it carefully before. I will spread it to my nursing friends. :)

It's definitely possible and preferable for a guy to be both confident, goal-oriented, and take-charge PLUS sensitive, empathetic, caring, and considerate. Women love that.

Not only that---these qualities are what nursing teaches and requires of ALL nurses, male or female!

Look at how women idolize what they call the "gamma male" in romance novels or films---a Highlander or Mel Gibson type who conquers the world, protects his woman, overcomes great odds, and holds a baby's hand, listens well, and shows great compassion for the downtrodden and unhappy.

Just don't get stuck in the stereotypical "nice guy" category---a doormat, a pushover, a guy who tries too hard to please, or a guy with no idea of whom he is. It's all about balance and showing the appropriate side of ourselves at the right times.

Also, I view a negative reaction by women to a man in nursing as a quick way to filter out those women who are too backward, narrowminded, conformist, or too much of a social climber to be worth more than a few moments of my time. ;)

Good Post, thanks. My 2 cents is that i'm a proud male RN working in critical care pulling down six figures and on my way to anesthesia school soon. Have dated female MD's and Residents. Most of the female nurses ask me how many kids do you have?

I think part of it is the socialization. I didn't feel comfortable saying I was a nurse until I got out of nursing school and my name said RN after it. Now I tell people I'm an RN and usually the first thing they do is give me their business card.

Sometimes it helps to have a sense of humor about it too... Yep, I'm a male nurse...but I take care of female patients too. I call this de-fokkerization... don't take yourself so darn seriously. If youre really feeling emasculated, then go to LA Fitness and bulk up, get your arms inked up with tattooos, buy a Harley, and then get a job in Labor and Delivery. Guarantee you'll have lots of girls interested in you!

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