Womens interest in male nurses

[johny1]

I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.

When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can’t a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?

If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.

I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it’s a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.

I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls

[Roy Fokker, BSN, RN]

I do find it amusing though as I work in ED and often the male RN's are refered to as Dr by (especially elderly) patients.

I'm a student nurse and I get that all the time :uhoh21:

Always reminds me of one of my seniors -- she told me that as a male in this profession, I might have a better chance because I'll always be treated with mroe respect (and deference) from authority than my female colleagues.... :uhoh21:

[johny1]

Well I just have one more thing to say. That if people see you as possibly being gay just because what you do and not getting to know who you are, do you really want to date them anyway?

Think about it.

Well said, if they label you with the stereotype.........NEXT!

Welcome to allnurses CDN, its a great place to drop by for an interesting debate eh.

[mingez]

Well I just have one more thing to say. That if people see you as possibly being gay just because what you do and not getting to know who you are, do you really want to date them anyway?

Think about it.

Ah, but another scenario to consider is not just the prospective datee thinking a male nurse is gay, and therefore undateable. But however she might be concerned about the narrow-mindedness of those in her circle (either professionally, personally or otherwise) who aren't perhaps as enlightened as she.

Now while she may understand that nursing is a wonderful profession for men, those around her might not, and thus subconciously make you slightly less attractive as a candidate.

I know I know, the response will be "would you really want to date a girl that cares so much about what others think" however at this point, aren't we limiting the possibilties a bit? Point is, it's a disadvantage, however it's one I'm willing to live with.

[johny1]

yeah, exellent point mingez. she may also think you are a great guy for being a nurse, but she feels you are just not her type. she likes docs and stockbroker types.

being male, our occupation has traditionally given us status in society and yes women have high status occupations, but how important is occupation to a woman when sizing up a potential partner and how important is it to a man? i have noticed many male nurses marry a nurse also and i know the m/f ratio would have something to do with this. but maybe it is difficult to find a sincere woman outside nursing for these reasons. it could be looked two ways; being a male nurse limits the pool of interested women or is an advantage to finding a genuine woman with an outlook and values similar to our own, whether they are nurses or not. we are not nurses (studying nursing) to fit snuggly into mainstream societies square, though one day we may. we are prepared to tread where many men have not yet the courage and insight to go. (and the pays not bad either!)

guys, what would you think of dating or marrying a female doctor. i would hedge a bet that many women mds would be looking to marry another doc or similar status. though if this were a possibility, how would you feel about it?

[karenG]

there will always be stereotypes in all jobs. as men in nursing, the public assume you are gay etc, as a woman in nursing, its assumed you must be promiscious etc. As a student nurse I became very fed up with men assuming that because I wore a uniform with a starched pinny I must also wear various items of underwear....... over here a recent survey showed nurses to be the top male fantasy.

so I think it cuts both ways. There are preconceived ideas about nurses, be they male or female. At the end of the day, I work with nurses... their sex/colour/nationality is unimportant. What is important to me is the ability to do the job. I've dated men who are also nurses..... the biggest problem with that is you spent the whole time trying to out do each other with gruesome stories!! But then I have noticed that we do that to each other all the time!! (was thrown out of a student canteen recently when on a course with a bunch of other nurses.. we told tall tales and were told to leave because the 'normal' students were feeling sick at hearing our tales!)

I guess my point is, we are nurses, we are unique people who do a very tough job. we dont fit nicely into little boxes, and we do tend to socialise together (who else has our sense of humour?) over here nurses tend to socialise with members of the fire services and police services.. same rotten hours and same SOH. I married a biochemist who works in the hospital lab..

so.. I'm proud to be who I am, and I am very pleased to work with good nurses...

though the student nurse who told me this week that as a man in nursing he expected to become a manager very quickly because of his sex.. very nearly got strangled!! He has a lot to learn.. including how not to upset a senior nurse :rotfl:

Karen

[johny1]

there will always be stereotypes in all jobs. as men in nursing, the public assume you are gay etc, as a woman in nursing, its assumed you must be promiscious etc. as a student nurse i became very fed up with men assuming that because i wore a uniform with a starched pinny i must also wear various items of underwear....... over here a recent survey showed nurses to be the top male fantasy.

so i think it cuts both ways. there are preconceived ideas about nurses, be they male or female. at the end of the day, i work with nurses... their sex/colour/nationality is unimportant. what is important to me is the ability to do the job. i've dated men who are also nurses..... the biggest problem with that is you spent the whole time trying to out do each other with gruesome stories!! but then i have noticed that we do that to each other all the time!! (was thrown out of a student canteen recently when on a course with a bunch of other nurses.. we told tall tales and were told to leave because the 'normal' students were feeling sick at hearing our tales!)

i guess my point is, we are nurses, we are unique people who do a very tough job. we dont fit nicely into little boxes, and we do tend to socialise together (who else has our sense of humour?) over here nurses tend to socialise with members of the fire services and police services.. same rotten hours and same soh. i married a biochemist who works in the hospital lab..

so.. i'm proud to be who i am, and i am very pleased to work with good nurses...

though the student nurse who told me this week that as a man in nursing he expected to become a manager very quickly because of his sex.. very nearly got strangled!! he has a lot to learn.. including how not to upset a senior nurse :rotfl:

karen

its a pity it wasn't the other way around, people assuming women in nursing were lesbians and men in nursing were promiscuous! ...oh......er......maybe it wouldn't make any difference, men would still be annoying female nurses and women wouldn't be interested in male nurses they think have nothing else on their minds

damned stereotypes, ya can't get away from them:lol2:

on a serious note, you are right, nurses are nurses in reality and are a very unique and diverse group. i think it's important for us guys in nursing to talk about this because the stereotype is there and we are a minority. i don't think i have really talked in-depth about this subject before posting this thread. i am very glad i did as i feel a lot of ground has been covered. i don't know about anyone else, but i have gotten alot from this discussion.

thanks all for your input.

[Balder_LPN, LPN]

Think of it as a twit filter. People who are worth knowing will accept you for who you are and what you do. People who snicker up their sleeves and worse are generally the world's biggest jackasses and life is too short to put up with them if you don't have to.

Thats the main point I was trying to make earlier. You put it very well, with a lot less words, I bet people even read your whole post (unlike my wordy diatribe)

[Corvette Guy]

Thats the main point I was trying to make earlier. You put it very well, with a lot less words, I bet people even read your whole post (unlike my wordy diatribe)

Looks like to me on this Thread nobody reads my post.

:stone

[johny1]

Looks like to me on this Thread nobody reads my post.

:stone

I think straight to the point posts are great, but posts that elaborate on the subject by one and all really get all angles and a better understanding of the discusion. If people are not going to read the longer posts, they are not interested enough in the subject and are not going to fully understand what is being discussed. Same here as in real time. The fact may be that the straight to the point post could be understood because you and others had already covered much ground on the longer posts:twocents:

:cheers:

[Raymond CA]

Hi! I just started this thread on "Dating for Men in Nursing/Nursing School." Please feel free to share your stories here!

https://allnurses.com/forums/f213/dating-men-nursing-nursing-school-152374.html

Personally, I have had barely any problems or strange looks from women when I've told them I'm entering nursing. Many of them nod and show approval. In fact, many women have complained to me about how their husbands or boyfriends are not empathetic/understanding/nurturing enough, and they welcome that combination of a guy who shows leadership, assertiveness, focus, etc. PLUS the traits of compassion, great listening skills, determination, and good people skills that nursing develops.

I'm in Silicon Valley---engineering heaven. Many women here date and marry engineers or business guys. I was an engineer myself, but my women friends who have dated engineers really like the fact that guys like me have more emotional intelligence and versatility than the one-dimensional, tone deaf guys they have been meeting. Plus we have that black sense of humor that comes from dealing with life and death situations with grace. :)

Personally, I have gone out with scientists, engineers, a VP of marketing, finance and accounting women, nursing students, a girl who just started medical school, and even a plumber!

It's more about the confidence, character, and caring you show as a man than your "job status." Also, nursing has gotten a reputation around here as a job that pays well, has excellent job security, gives career and family flexibility, and lets one buy a house within a few years of working. What's not attractive about THAT to a potential girlfriend? :)

Good luck!

[Corvette Guy]

Hi! I just started this thread on "Dating for Men in Nursing/Nursing School." Please feel free to share your stories here!

https://allnurses.com/forums/f213/dating-men-nursing-nursing-school-152374.html

Personally, I have had barely any problems or strange looks from women when I've told them I'm entering nursing. Many of them nod and show approval. In fact, many women have complained to me about how their husbands or boyfriends are not empathetic/understanding/nurturing enough, and they welcome that combination of a guy who shows leadership, assertiveness, focus, etc. PLUS the traits of compassion, great listening skills, determination, and good people skills that nursing develops.

I'm in Silicon Valley---engineering heaven. Many women here date and marry engineers or business guys. I was an engineer myself, but my women friends who have dated engineers really like the fact that guys like me have more emotional intelligence and versatility than the one-dimensional, tone deaf guys they have been meeting. Plus we have that black sense of humor that comes from dealing with life and death situations with grace. :)

Personally, I have gone out with scientists, engineers, a VP of marketing, finance and accounting women, nursing students, a girl who just started medical school, and even a plumber!

It's more about the confidence, character, and caring you show as a man than your "job status." Also, nursing has gotten a reputation around here as a job that pays well, has excellent job security, gives career and family flexibility, and lets one buy a house within a few years of working. What's not attractive about THAT to a potential girlfriend? :)

Good luck!

Very post!

[johny1]

Ditto that!