I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.
When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can’t a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?
If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.
I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it’s a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.
I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls
Congrats to you and your wife...I am not too familiar with Olympia, only lived here for 2 1/2 years. I take it you just PCSed here? MAMC, can get a bad reputation...but so does McChord. Healthcare is a difficult thing to run when you got people coming and going constantly. But the ICU should be fun!!!
Let me know if you and your wife need any ideas on nice areas in Washington....
annette
Yes, I'm PCS to Madigan for 3 yrs & reported on April 3rd.
Please, by all means share info on some good places in the Puget Sound Area [North & South] for Susan & I to visit.
I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.
When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can't a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?
If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.
I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it's a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.
I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls
unfortunately, the word "nurse" still has a negative connotation in today's male dominated world, and some women ahve even picked up on it
I'm new here (first post), but have followed this thread with great interest -- especially since I've got applications in at nursing schools right now and am a single, heterosexual male.
Here's an observation that I've made about most men that I've known (this may be true for women too, but I won't comment on the gender that ceaselessly confounds -- and amazes me): Guys tend to like challenges. I believe this is because guys, on some level, are always wondering if they "have what it takes." Do I have what it takes to fight in a war? Do I have what it takes to earn a lot of money? Do I have what it takes to win the affections of that particular woman? Etc, etc...
At various points in my life I've considered both med school and nursing school. I think the challenges will be very different (both are difficult academically), but for me the challenge of becoming a doctor would be "do I have what it takes to devote every ounce of myself to my academics and chosen profession?" whereas the challenge in nursing would be "do I have what it takes to clean the poop off of this person, and also do I have what it takes to have a career that the public [still] views as being a female profession?"
My point is, no matter what job you choose you, as a man, will most likely still be (at some level) asking the "Do I have what it takes" question. And, no matter what job you take, the only way to answer it is by doing it.
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On a personal note, when I think about the type of woman I want in my life I have to admit that many of the nurses and nursing students that I've met come to mind... And aside from being a doctor (or perhaps a patient), I can't think of a better way to get to know more women like that, so it's convenient that this career choice allows that.
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I am still curious though about a question that's been brought up a few times but hasn't really been addressed too much: Does the fact that a guy is a nurse bias women on more of a "gut"/subconscious level? There have been many women who have said, "I'd TOTALLY date a male nurse," but I wonder how many of them are saying that from a very intellectual, rational standpoint (plus, how many are responding from a nurse's point of view). From their hearts, would women not first fall for a guy who has the nurse qualities (intelligent, driven, caring, sensitive, etc) but who also is a doctor/lawyer/artist/professional athlete/other-career-with-sex-appeal...?
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It's funny how I feel totally fine talking about becoming a nurse with my fellow nursing students, and I feel totally fine talking about it with some of my friends that are working at restaurants or at REI or driving school busses... but I'm still uncomfortable talking about it with people I don't know or people who have chosen careers that are very socially accepted/respected for their gender. I'd like to believe that I'll love nursing and that I'll find it rewarding, but I admit that, as someone mentioned earlier, "like it or not, what other people think matters." Perhaps I still have something to learn or ways to grow in my self-esteem, or perhaps this harkens back to the "do I have what it takes" question... but public perception is important to me...
Good luck to you with nursing school. To answer your question about dating a male nurse.
Most likely no, first and foremost...I most likely on some level work with them, whether totally or on a phone call...etc I don't mix dating and work. On another level I haven't really met a male nurse I was totally into...sure they maybe cute, but something happens I don't know what it is...some are very very manly, so it isn't that.
Now I am going to send the men into fits about this but I will say it, know that this comes from many male nurses that I am friends with....more times than not, a male nurse does alot of "playing" the field...they are the BEST players cause they work around women, they hear how all those men messed up...they learn. Smart cookies male nurses are...Please realize I am not saying every nurse is a player, all I am saying is I see this ALOT. I don't fall for players or find any interest in them. Something to add to this I wouldn't date a doctor either, unless he really impressed me....I will explain more in my next topic...
I like variety in my life, I like learning new things, experiencing new things...I like to be different than the men in my life...Looks, Jobs, Personalities, Backgrounds....I like the spice of it. For instance I am blonde, won't date a blonde....I have green eyes, I don't care for green or blue eyes. I know it is strange and crazy. But dang if went some where with a man with simular looks like me....I wanna know if my kid has my looks or his. You may think it is shallow but look at it like this....most women have a height requirement, men have desires with legs, butt, or breast....mine just go deeper. Now if I had a friend who I got to know better....he had blonde hair...again he would really have to impress me, for me to develop that attraction.
So what I am saying is this, no I wouldn't date a male nurse all things considered. Really nothing to do with being "manly" Remember men you don't have to be able to lift a couch to be manly...there are other things you can do....
I am still curious though about a question that's been brought up a few times but hasn't really been addressed too much: Does the fact that a guy is a nurse bias women on more of a "gut"/subconscious level? There have been many women who have said, "I'd TOTALLY date a male nurse," but I wonder how many of them are saying that from a very intellectual, rational standpoint (plus, how many are responding from a nurse's point of view). From their hearts, would women not first fall for a guy who has the nurse qualities (intelligent, driven, caring, sensitive, etc) but who also is a doctor/lawyer/artist/professional athlete/other-career-with-sex-appeal...?
I don't know if it was my post you were referring to, but I too made (or wanted to make) this very point. There are a lot of things that "logically" we can say we wouldn't do, but there are tons of "subconcious" conditions that we unknowingly allow to affect our decisions.
For example, I've met a few people who I would describe as racist, but would swear up and down that they aren't. If you asked them if they dislike black people, they'd say "No", and perhaps even be offended that you asked them such a thing. But if their daughter were to start dating a black guy, they'd have a problem with that.
There, unfortunately, is no way to really quantify this, because it exists outside of the rational mind. You can't simply ask a person if subconciously they are less attracted to someone because of their profession and expect an accurate answer...it doesn't work like that.
i don't know if it was my post you were referring to, but i too made (or wanted to make) this very point. there are a lot of things that "logically" we can say we wouldn't do, but there are tons of "subconcious" conditions that we unknowingly allow to affect our decisions.
for example, i've met a few people who i would describe as racist, but would swear up and down that they aren't. if you asked them if they dislike black people, they'd say "no", and perhaps even be offended that you asked them such a thing. but if their daughter were to start dating a black guy, they'd have a problem with that.
there, unfortunately, is no way to really quantify this, because it exists outside of the rational mind. you can't simply ask a person if subconciously they are less attracted to someone because of their profession and expect an accurate answer...it doesn't work like that.
i think sometimes people may even be conscious of how they feel, but choose to say the politically correct, socially acceptable dialog. i'd be surprised if at least some women have less interest in male nurses, at least on face value saying " you are such a great guy being a nurse " or whatever and maybe they think it is, but it takes more than just a great guy to interest a woman.
i'd say that it is the same position of meeting anyone new, male or female, they show you who they are, you show them who you are, except you have a stereotype of being a male nurse to disprove as well (unless you are gay and/or have a less masculine nature and there's nothing wrong with being so either! :nuke: ). what about patients etc asking if we are married or have kids or a girlfriend. maybe their just making conversation, though it feels like they are fishing for information to come to a conclusion.
actions speak louder than words. confidence and humour have been the key for me to no longer be concerned about "women's interest in male nurses" i origionally posted. women may not be interested in a male nurse unless he proves he is a red blooded, heterosexual man. if he is, he will have no problem doing so if he also holds his occupation in the same esteem as his masculinity
some women are not going to be interested in male nurses no matter what and if their priority is lawyers, doctors, ceos etc with more prestigous occupations and money, good on them. ya can't win 'em all eh?
of course you could go into funeral directing, now theres a manly occupation that'd impress the girls!
As a male nursing student (starting senior year in a BSN program) I can assure you that I have seen almost every reaction to me being a nurse. Some have been very positive, and some not so nice at all. You have all ranges and types that fit under the catagory of human being out in the world. I have had some patients find great comfort in my unique aproach to nursing that being a 43 year old man with life experience, long standing marriage and parent hood bring to the job. I have had others that just flat out question what a retired construction worker (yes, I used to work a welder / iron worker (worked high steel construction) to pay for my engineering degree. I am happy that I made the switch to nursing, as I discovered that I prefer working with people to machinery. Honestly, I think you will meet a better class of girl as a nurse that I would when I was single as a construction worker. As you get older you will find great comfort in a woman that values you for your mind and freindship. Nursing has helped me become a better communicator and has rounded my aproach to my relationships. Just my experience - I hope it helps you.
i honestly don't think nurses are that much different than anyone else. people are people, anywhere you go.
i'd tell people that i'm an rn... i don't use the word "nurse" to describe myself. then again, i'm getting an mba, and i don't think i'll be handling patients for more than a couple of years. i'm just not the nursiest kind of guy, i suppose.
yeah, i think women see you've got a good career that's very stable, and that's part of the attraction.
I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.
When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can't a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?
If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.
I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it's a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.
I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls
What you say is incredibly true. It is so true that it is the absolute, unadulterated truth. Now women may say that they want the kind, sensitive type, but what I see them dating are men with tatoos up both arms and a gangsta rapper look that would put Eminem to shame. Of course who's to say these men aren't sensitive as they nudge everone, oh so delicately, out of their paths and onto the pavement, but I do have some doubts.
Telling a girl that you're a nurse is basically like telling them, "goodbye, have a nice life", you know, that sort of thing. Nevermind the fact that nurses, yes even male ones, make upwards of $25.00/hr and that the men that these women have been dating are stuck somewhere between minimum wage and skid row. If they have an attitude, then they've got themselves a girl.
Now you, as a nurse, would probably treat your woman like gold, be sympathetic to her needs, and responsive to her concerns. The guy with the tatoos, chains and baggy pants - he'll probably beat on her, cheat on her, and rob her blind. The important thing to note though, is that women do this to themselves all the time.
So, don't feel bad. I have married women, and women in their sixties come up to me all the time and tell me how good-looking I am, EVEN WHILE WEARING MY NURSING SCRUBS! So, I figure that when I'm older, these women who by that time will have divorced, had three kids, and lost most of their lower teeth, (not necessarily in that order),will be looking for a man just like me! You see mature women know a good thing when they see it, and wouldn't snub their nose at you for being a nurse.
Now, I don't know about you, but I've got to practice up on my shuffle board and lawn bowling, so that I'll be ready when the rush hits.
What you say is incredibly true. It is so true that it is the absolute, unadulterated truth. Now women may say that they want the kind, sensitive type, but what I see them dating are men with tatoos up both arms and a gangsta rapper look that would put Eminem to shame. Of course who's to say these men aren't sensitive as they nudge everone, oh so delicately, out of their paths and onto the pavement, but I do have some doubts.
Telling a girl that you're a nurse is basically like telling them, "goodbye, have a nice life", you know, that sort of thing. Nevermind the fact that nurses, yes even male ones, make upwards of $25.00/hr and that the men that these women have been dating are stuck somewhere between minimum wage and skid row. If they have an attitude, then they've got themselves a girl.
Now you, as a nurse, would probably treat your woman like gold, be sympathetic to her needs, and responsive to her concerns. The guy with the tatoos, chains and baggy pants - he'll probably beat on her, cheat on her, and rob her blind. The important thing to note though, is that women do this to themselves all the time.
So, don't feel bad. I have married women, and women in their sixties come up to me all the time and tell me how good-looking I am, EVEN WHILE WEARING MY NURSING SCRUBS! So, I figure that when I'm older, these women who by that time will have divorced, had three kids, and lost most of their lower teeth, (not necessarily in that order),will be looking for a man just like me! You see mature women know a good thing when they see it, and wouldn't snub their nose at you for being a nurse.
Now, I don't know about you, but I've got to practice up on my shuffle board and lawn bowling, so that I'll be ready when the rush hits.
:lol_hitti
Hahahaha!!! Very funny post. Hopefully, you'll have the energy for all of those ladies on the shuffle board courts.
poster!
Corvette Guy
1,505 Posts
Yes, I'm PCS to Madigan for 3 yrs & reported on April 3rd.
Please, by all means share info on some good places in the Puget Sound Area [North & South] for Susan & I to visit.