Womens interest in male nurses

[johny1]

I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.

When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can’t a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?

If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.

I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it’s a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.

I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls

[johny1]

johnny,

i think you may be missing something. you say the women's attitudes change when you tell them that you're a student nurse, and you assume that's because of the "nurse" part - that they no longer see you as manly.

otoh, could it be they cool off because of the student part? instead of it being a case of going from manly man to wimp, maybe the problem is that you're going from "guy who could take me someplace nice for dinner" to "guy with no money to spend on me."

you could be right, and if this was the case it is only one down on "he doesn’t have a prestigious job, he won’t be able to take me on holiday or to fine restaurants” etc

there are still expectations of what a man is supposed to be. making the first move, being judged on his vocation, paying for dinner etc and thats fair enough (maybe its not fair, but thats the way it is:d ) as long nursing is seen to be a viable job for men by mainstream society. this means really accepting male nurses and not just being pc about it and thinking otherwise.

next time i go on a date with a female neuro-surgeon, i will insist that she pays lol

[SweetieRN]

We had a half a dozen males in our nursing class. As I recall, only one was actually gay. One was a former EMT, one wanted to do nursing in preparation for med school, one was a displaced auto worker, and so on. Anytime males enter a female-dominated profession there will always be the assumption that they are gay. That's really too bad, because in my opinion one's sexuality has nothing to do with their competency as a nurse. As far as I'm concerned male nurses are HOT! and we need many more of them. I work in a female-dominated unit and we would love to have males to work with although I don't think the patient's would like it, since it is OB.

[MommyandRN]

I'm just a luurker female nurse. But I do think that this goes bnoth ways - for men AND women. When I tell people that I am a nurse, people's mood/conversation changes for me also. I do agree that men probably get more of a reaction. But it bugs us women too... people assume that I don't make that much money or that I aren't that smart etc. I appreciate when people then aska follow up question to it - like what kind of nursing etc. But when people say "Oh" and then move on, that really bugs me!

[johny1]

i'm just a luurker female nurse. but i do think that this goes bnoth ways - for men and women. when i tell people that i am a nurse, people's mood/conversation changes for me also. i do agree that men probably get more of a reaction. but it bugs us women too... people assume that i don't make that much money or that i aren't that smart etc. i appreciate when people then aska follow up question to it - like what kind of nursing etc. but when people say "oh" and then move on, that really bugs me!

in defense to men and women in the nursing profession, the mainstream perception of a nurse's role e.g.: nurturing, taking orders, doing menial tasks, is way off reality.

it can be a physically and mentally challenging with much technology and research to keep current in the field.

i agree with ya.

[Corvette Guy]

i was originally going to include you in what i had posted, the only reason i didn't is because having experience as a front line soldier and a nurse is imo the ultimate example of what we men are capable of, that we as men can be warriors and nurturers. there is much in-between this diametric and men are capable of all of it. this is the point i was trying to get across.

you were a soldier in the military as an aviation engineer and currently as a nurse from what i have read. these posts and others from different threads show you to be proud of serving your country in these two very different roles.

corvette guy, i have the deepest respect for you as well and i apologize for not including you.

i hope i haven't pissed you off too much:eek:

johny

johny - btw, i was never a soldier [always should be capitalized] in the military as an aviation engineer, lol. i am a united states marine corps veteran with a bkgrd as enlisted active duty usmc f-4 phantom flight-line avionics technician, 1980-1988. no, i was not an infantryman in the marine corps. however, every single marine is a basic rifleman with rifle qual at least twice a year, field training, etc. yes, i'm very proud to have served my country as a marine during my 20's. if you feel that former grunts [a term of admiration made by marines regards to the infantry] that are now military nurses are the true ultimate warrior, then so be it.

furthermore, i'm very proud to be a member of the army nurse corps. so much so that tomorrow i take the oath of office for regular commission. in otherwords, i will be transferring from the reserves to active component.

however, one of my most proudest accomplishments was when i was a single parent dad, raising two sons, while going thru or tech program, then worked 64 hrs/wk as an cst while in adn program, and raising my two sons. that time period of my life was harder than usmc boot camp in 1980, lol.

now, i feel much better.

btw2, an apology was never really necessary.

[DusktilDawn]

NURSING SCHOOL IS DEFINATELY NOT FOR WIMPS, irregardless of gender.

[Balder_LPN, LPN]

A couple different things....

For the OP; Try telling women you are going back to college, then tell them you are studying nursing only if they ask what you are studying. Thats what I do in coversations with everyone. People that would judge me by that arent likely to be interested enough to ask what I am studying anyway. Saves me a bit of hassle that way. And my impression has been that the type of women I am attracted to are rather intriqued by the fact I am becoming a nurse. So if they arent, thats a good clue to me that we wouldnt be too compatible anyway.

#2 I had to notice all this stuff about the front line Soldier to Nurse discussion. As one of those guys myself I have to say how surprised I am that there are a number of us present here on the board (ho-wah, follow me, and all that to you guys)

While the soldiers I served with had a huge range of backgrounds (engineer, teacher, mechanic, gang banger, cowboy, farmer, clerk, truck driver, telephone operator, janitor, and so on and so on) I dont ever remember anyone who had been a nurse or an aide, and no one who said, or that I would have guessed, as headed to any carreer in healthcare (myself included). Or caring for much of anything for that matter. (h***, when I went through basic training at Benning in the '80's they had us chanting "Rape, kill, pillage, and burn, I'm gonna rape, kill, pillage, and burn", although by the time I became a dril sgt in the '90's that was no longer allowed)

I know as a 20-something "Rough, tough, lean, mean, US Army fighting machine" (that was another chant we used to do often) that caring aspect of my personality certainly wasnt developed professionally. Being cold and aggressive are more the personality traits they want combat soldiers to develop. Of course, they are "COMBAT" soldiers, and their job, regardless of how we would like to sterilize or glorify it, IS to kill. You cant make that sound nice or tap dance around it.

So, all that said; how did so many of us wind up here? I'm surprised I did, and so many others too. If I see that many here there must be a ton of us.

I want to be a psych nurse and one of the first things that set me on that path happened in the Army. On a 5 day, 100 mile road march in full combat gear (pack, canteens, gas mask, ammo, helmet, m-16) I completed the march, but some men much stonger, in shape, and physically capable than I was, did not. I started to realize the power of the mind and wondered what made the difference between one and another. Also contributing was the fact that the living and working conditions we had could be very stressful. Since I was just a couple years older than many of they guys I served with, I became something of a big brother to a number of them who had a hard time dealing with the stress sometimes. So while that caring part of me wasnt developed directly by the army, it did have an indirect effect.

[donsterRN, ASN, BSN]

It takes a special kind of person to be unbiversally accepting of others.

To love and care for another human being just because they are human beings.

To seek out and help those in desperate need.

To heal wounds - both mind and body - caused by self or others.

To be responsible for the life and well being of another.

To be truly blind to all matters of caste, creed, colour, wealth or race when dealing with another.

To know deep within your heart that what you do everyday makes a positive impact on the lives of many, often total strangers.

To spend life in the service of humankind (and occassionaly, the animal kind too!)

All these and more are the reasons I choose to do what I do. To me, this has nothing to do with "feminine" or "masculine" or "macho". These are but mere words and they pale in significance in light of our chosen work.

I'm happy with what I do and if people want to judge me because of this - then frankly it's their loss, not mine.

I don't know how I missed this the first time, but EXCELLENT POST, Roy!

[nursebewell]

I am a female nurse but I am also very good friends with a male nurse. Traditionally, male nurses in the past had a tendency to be gay, it was more of a female occupation, but that has since changed, but not everyone knows or understands this. Because i am a nurse I understand this very well. Most male nurses tend to go into specialties that are more testosterone induced such as ER, OR, or ICU anyway. If I weren't already married, I would definitley date a male nurse, it shows that he is a compassionate and caring person, he has a stable occupation, he makes decent money, and he is most likely extremely strong, you have to be a strong person in order to withstand dealing with so many females in your life, passing nursing school, and to take on an occupation like this.

[felixfelix]

Imagine being a woman in the construction industry years ago...whew!

You are who you are no matter what job you happen to be doing at the time.

[Bumashes, MSN, APRN, NP]

Anyone who thinks nursing isn't manly should spend a day cleaning up some the things nurses do. I would totally date a guy who was a nurse because I know that it takes a special person to be able to persevere in this profession.

[Corvette Guy]

I am a female nurse but I am also very good friends with a male nurse. Traditionally, male nurses in the past had a tendency to be gay, it was more of a female occupation, but that has since changed, but not everyone knows or understands this. Because i am a nurse I understand this very well. Most male nurses tend to go into specialties that are more testosterone induced such as ER, OR, or ICU anyway. If I weren't already married, I would definitley date a male nurse, it shows that he is a compassionate and caring person, he has a stable occupation, he makes decent money, and he is most likely extremely strong, you have to be a strong person in order to withstand dealing with so many females in your life, passing nursing school, and to take on an occupation like this.

:yeahthat: ... excellent post!