Womens interest in male nurses

[johny1]

I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.

When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can’t a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?

If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.

I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it’s a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.

I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls

[firstaiddave907]

I think men and women can be excelent nurses they arent there to fight over gender roles but they are there to work as a team and to help pacients and i agree with u dan.

[mingez]

Well, how about it men? Where any of you single as nurses, and yet still sucessfully dated or married?

As silly as it may seem, I have a feeling a lot of single yet to be nurses/prospective students have this concern.

What I've found is that most gals say the right things to your face (so as not to appear shallow) but may not be able to help their true feelings. It's tough... to utter those words: "I'm going to Nursing School"

I always thought it wouldn't bother me, but I have to admit, as strong of a personality as I am.. it does a little.

[tinyscrafts]

and your next sentence can be

"And I make pretty good money too"

Look confident when you say it. It's all in the approach

[lilyflower06]

Thanks Nephro

I think I'm only concerned about this because Im single. Otherwise it would'nt bother me what people thought outside of my family and friends.

I just left a long term relationship with a male nurse & he had no shortage of female interest from both patients, patients family & female coworkers. That is part of the reason why our realtionship ended. He introduced himself not as a "nurse" but as an RN or a "registered nurse". I do believe the word nurse has feminine conotations that will not be simple to transform.

My advice to any single nurse male or female is to not allow work to dominate ones life/psyche to the point where your career becomes all that you are & think.

[mingez]

My advice to any single nurse male or female is to not allow work to dominate ones life/psyche to the point where your career becomes all that you are & think.

That's great advice. Whatever the profession!

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Well, how about it men? Where any of you single as nurses, and yet still sucessfully dated or married?

As silly as it may seem, I have a feeling a lot of single yet to be nurses/prospective students have this concern.

What I've found is that most gals say the right things to your face (so as not to appear shallow) but may not be able to help their true feelings. It's tough... to utter those words: "I'm going to Nursing School"

I always thought it wouldn't bother me, but I have to admit, as strong of a personality as I am.. it does a little.

I have two heterosexual male coworkers (I think the experience in the dating world is different for gay guys, but for the record I'm gay and found a partner as a nurse, but that's comparing apples to organges so realize I have no personal experience, other than what I've seen in coworkers).

Both are "ladies men", meaning they are confident in themselves as men who can attract someone of the oppositite sex. One is now happily married and met his wife after becoming a nurse (obviously no longer plays the field), one broke up with someone last year and is out dating and seems to be doing o.k. (he had a "hickey" a few weeks ago).

Being a male nurse may limit opportunities (as evidenced by the op's experience) but as also was said, who wants those ladies anyway. Better you know how they feel from the get go. But realize that it's not impossible to find a girlfriend or a wife.

Things may be different in Austrailia (where the op's from) so I can't say for sure.

[LoriAlabamaRN]

My husband is a nurse, and let me tell you, he is one manly studmuffin!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

my husband flew jets in the air force, worked on oil rigs in the gulf, drove a tow truck in la and teaches martial arts. he's also a nurse. (he learned that steady employment and a steady income allow him to have more fun.) i worked with him for four years before we got together, and i've never known him to have trouble finding a date -- quite the contrary! the man dated more beautiful women than we, his coworkers could keep track of!

your profession isn't going to interfere with your getting dates, and you sure meet a lot of women!

otoh, being a nurse, and working mostly with women makes it a lot harder for straight women to find dates!

ruby

[JLW,RN]

I couldn't help but weight in. I became a nurse following a tour as an infantryman with the 82d Airborne Division. I've found that there may be a certain percentage of people with a preconception about men as nurses, but 99% of them will judge you based on how you carry yourself...period.

When I still lived in Fayetteville, I'd get some flack from the young paratroopers out in nightclubs, but "coining" them (showing them my unit coin) usually shut them up.

I also enjoyed being the "rare" commodity in my nursing class. (Something I occassionally remind my wife of, just to get under her skin!)

[Tony35NYC]

Can you expound on the "downside"?? Not sure I'm understanding what you are saying?

The "downside" of being too kind, too close, too caring (if there's really such a thing).... Well, I believe that for men in nursing, these things can have different implications than they do for female nurses. For example, if you are a male nurse managing a male patient's care, some of your actions could be construed by some as a 'come on', perhaps for no other reason than the automatic assumption that most men in nursing are gay. Sounds weird, but it happened here a couple years ago. The patient claimed that the nurse touched him inappropriately. Charges were filed, there was a police investigation, and the nurse was eventually fired on some other trumped up technicality (because it was easier for the hospital to get rid of the liability than to disprove the patient's claim, in my opinion). First of all, the nurse was an openly gay man (which made the patient's claim seem more believable on the surface, at least to most people). Second, the patient was a young guy, goodlooking and very athletic (which perhaps made the accusations seem even more believable). I am not familiar with all the details of this case but I believe the nurse's version of what happened. The patient was an MVA trauma victim in traction and very angry that he could not move about and that he was totally dependent of nursing care. This patient had an extensive history of ETOH and substance abuse and kept asking that the nurse administer medications (librium, ativan, dilauded, etc.) outside the parameters ordered by the physician. Also, the patient was typical of the clientele that comes through here...rich upper middle class, very demanding, and complain about everything. They think the hospital is a hotel, and they are always complaining about the nurses because they feel we should spend 100% of our time in their room taking care of them and giving them everything they want. Just one example, they have the remote control for the TV right next to them in the bed on the same device that activates the call light, yet they will push the button to call us into the room to ask us to adjust the volume on the TV or to change the channel (go figure!). We all work our tails off for these people and most of them give us so-so reviews when they leave.

Its not difficult to imagine that the same accusation could just as easily be made by a female patient (which is, arguably, worse). Some of you may disagree, but it seems to me that people are more inclined to believe these things when the alleged perpetrator is a man. Fortunately, I haven't heard of this happening a lot and there haven't been any accusations made against me, but because we live in a very litigious society and I know I have a license to lose, I try to be careful. If I am performing certain types of tasks, not only do I tell the patient exactly what I am going to do before I start, but depending on the task, I may ask a female PCA or another nurse to come into the room, just to protect myself.

[Roy Fokker, BSN, RN]

Good post Tony...

[PedsER-RN, BSN, RN]

i really wish the world would start to see nursing as a unisex profession.

you know right off that this guy is going to be smart, educated, caring, and compassionate. plus, you know that he will always have a job and will have a flexible schedule. what's not to love? i just don't get women sometimes, and i am one!!!

:yeahthat: i'm not a guy either, but ditto that!!