Womens interest in male nurses

[johny1]

I am a nursing student, currently studying to be an RN. I am really enjoying the experience, however I have an issue that is concerning me.

When chatting up women and the conversation comes up about what I do, and I reply studying nursing, their eyes widen and the mood seems to change. This is not related to women in the field but those outside. As soon as I utter the word nurse, I seem to go from a confident manly guy to a nice guy to them. I know women want confident manly sort of men, but women also say they like a man to be sensitive and caring. Can’t a male nurse be sensitive and manly? Do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?

If a woman is able to climb the corporate ladder and make big money in business and still have sex appeal, does a man need to limit himself to traditional masculine roles to prove his maleness and be attractive to women or can he do a traditionally feminine job of helping and caring for people.

I understood that when women refer to equality, it is for both men and women. They it’s a great idea for men to be nurses, but individually, their actions seem to speak louder than their words.

I would be very interested in your opinions on this both guys and girls

[schoona]

Hi whilst yes I am a female RN, I have a brother - in - law who is an RN, a cousin who is a RN and a very good friend who is a Nurse Manger for RFDS (Royal Flying Doctor Service), none of which you would call wimpy or unmanley.

I do find it amusing though as I work in ED and often the male RN's are refered to as Dr by (especially elderly) patients.

[CDNCommunityRN]

I would just like to say I take offense to someone writing something in this forum that states "at worst gay."

I am a proud gay male and I happen to be a nurse. I have no problem with being proud of either label applied to me.

With you saying "at worst gay", you are conveying to others that there is something inherently wrong with people seeing you as gay. I am conflicted in saying this but, you should be so lucky. Gay and lesbian nurses are some of the most compassionate people that I have had the pleasure to work with.

Although I don't think that sexual orientation matters with the respect to the work we do (our straight counterparts are just as compassionate and caring). Therefore I see little with what being seen as gay and a male has anything to do with nursing or how you are perceived by others.

Just my rant.

[mingez]

I don't think there is anything wrong AT ALL with being gay.

Some of the greatest people to grace this planet are of that persuasion.

However, as a straight male, I think that in the interest of meeting women (hence the title of the thread) being perceived as gay is a serious disadvantage.

It's not OUR perception of homosexuality that is the problem, but rather the perception of others and how it affects us. Like it or not, what other people think CAN affect you, especially in the dating scene. I think that there are too many small-minded people out there, and such stigmas (true or otherwise) can transcend any amount of rational thought processes.

I don't know who posted "At worst gay", and while I agree that perhaps those were not the best choice of words, I don't think the poster was trying to imply that there is anything inherently wrong with being gay. Rather, I think they were trying to point out that such a perception can be a disadvantage in certain situations, ie meeting women.

Another idea that gets thrown around too much, is the assumption that Gay men are somehow not as tough as straight men.

Gay does not = wimpy. (in many ways the opposite is often true) I think that's an important point to make.

[johny1]

i would just like to say i take offense to someone writing something in this forum that states "at worst gay."

i am a proud gay male and i happen to be a nurse. i have no problem with being proud of either label applied to me.

with you saying "at worst gay", you are conveying to others that there is something inherently wrong with people seeing you as gay. i am conflicted in saying this but, you should be so lucky. gay and lesbian nurses are some of the most compassionate people that i have had the pleasure to work with.

although i don't think that sexual orientation matters with the respect to the work we do (our straight counterparts are just as compassionate and caring). therefore i see little with what being seen as gay and a male has anything to do with nursing or how you are perceived by others.

just my rant.

do these women see nurses as somewhat effeminate, at worst gay?

mate, maybe you miss interpreted what i meant. to a heterosexual single man, being seen as effeminate by the opposite sex is 'sexual suicide' as most women are not attracted to this and will relegate you to 'nice guy' status. the worst situation for a heterosexual man is being seen as gay because women will think he has no interest in them at all.

there is nothing wrong with a straight single guy being seen as gay if he wants a lifetime of chastity! :uhoh21: i assume you wouldn't want to be seen as heterosexual by other men you are attracted to.

i think i'm only concerned about this because i'm single. otherwise it wouldn't bother me what people thought outside of my family and friends.

being a gay male and a nurse and being proud of both labels are great if you're gay and a nurse. being a straight male and a nurse and having your sexuality questioned because you are a nurse is not.

i hope you understand what i meant by "at worst gay" now.

[johny1]

I don't think there is anything wrong AT ALL with being gay.

Some of the greatest people to grace this planet are of that persuasion.

However, as a straight male, I think that in the interest of meeting women (hence the title of the thread) being perceived as gay is a serious disadvantage.

It's not OUR perception of homosexuality that is the problem, but rather the perception of others and how it affects us. Like it or not, what other people think CAN affect you, especially in the dating scene. I think that there are too many small-minded people out there, and such stigmas (true or otherwise) can transcend any amount of rational thought processes.

I don't know who posted "At worst gay", and while I agree that perhaps those were not the best choice of words, I don't think the poster was trying to imply that there is anything inherently wrong with being gay. Rather, I think they were trying to point out that such a perception can be a disadvantage in certain situations, ie meeting women.

Another idea that gets thrown around too much, is the assumption that Gay men are somehow not as tough as straight men.

Gay does not = wimpy. (in many ways the opposite is often true) I think that's an important point to make.

Well put mate, People who don't like to think outside the square cling to stereotypes.

[Corvette Guy]

I would just like to say I take offense to someone writing something in this forum that states "at worst gay."

I am a proud gay male and I happen to be a nurse. I have no problem with being proud of either label applied to me.

With you saying "at worst gay", you are conveying to others that there is something inherently wrong with people seeing you as gay. I am conflicted in saying this but, you should be so lucky. Gay and lesbian nurses are some of the most compassionate people that I have had the pleasure to work with.

Although I don't think that sexual orientation matters with the respect to the work we do (our straight counterparts are just as compassionate and caring). Therefore I see little with what being seen as gay and a male has anything to do with nursing or how you are perceived by others.

Just my rant.

The perception by the public regards to being seen as gay and a male has everything to do with male nurse stereotypes. Your sexual orientation is certainly your free choosing. However, I dislike the fact that the general public often mislabels male nurses as being gay... something I'm not.

Therefore, I can certainly understand the OP's intentions of the statement where he used "at worst gay" as it applies to the original theme of this Thread.

*I've done a lot of editing with this post before hitting the Submit Reply button in hopes of not ruining this thread or offending anyone.

[Thunderwolf, MSN, RN]

Nicely done, everyone.

[Daye]

Has it or will it come to an issue of political correctness?

As a former flight attendant, we no longer called ourselves stewardess' b/c we had all the great men I worked with on board finally!!!

MY girlfriend who is a postal carrier/mailperson...isn't a mailman these days b/c many wonderful women have entered that profession.

So I suppose that maybe what my thoughts are about is not so much male or female but the gender orientated title of the profession itself.

My personal thoughts....guys in this profession are amazing, caring and wonderful and what great friends and perspectives you guys add.

Thanks for being manly enough to be where you are!

[Warpster]

Think of it as a twit filter. People who are worth knowing will accept you for who you are and what you do. People who snicker up their sleeves and worse are generally the world's biggest jackasses and life is too short to put up with them if you don't have to.

Because you're part of a minority in this profession, some people won't know what to think for a few minutes. Give them a little time to adjust their prejudices.

In any case, welcome. The rest of us out here in nursing land are glad you're joining us.

[Corvette Guy]

Has it or will it come to an issue of political correctness?

As a former flight attendant, we no longer called ourselves stewardess' b/c we had all the great men I worked with on board finally!!!

MY girlfriend who is a postal carrier/mailperson...isn't a mailman these days b/c many wonderful women have entered that profession.

So I suppose that maybe what my thoughts are about is not so much male or female but the gender orientated title of the profession itself.

My personal thoughts....guys in this profession are amazing, caring and wonderful and what great friends and perspectives you guys add.

Thanks for being manly enough to be where you are!

Your welcome

[CDNCommunityRN]

Well I just have one more thing to say. That if people see you as possibly being gay just because what you do and not getting to know who you are, do you really want to date them anyway?

Think about it.

[Corvette Guy]

Well I just have one more thing to say. That if people see you as possibly being gay just because what you do and not getting to know who you are, do you really want to date them anyway?

Think about it.

First, I'm married. However, you make a valid point. If someone judges another strictly via stereotypes, then they are certainly not worth dating. BTW, while on my first nursing job there was one nurse that I later found out thought I was gay just because I was a male nurse. She was always nice to me, etc., although I had no intention of dating her, or inquirying about such. However, when I asked why she had the misconception I was gay her reply was because I was a good looking male nurse, LOL.

Therefore, I don't like the stereotype of all male nurses being gay. Why? Because I'm a heterosexual male in the nursing profession. Let me be perfectly clear here... I realize a lot of male gay nurses don't act feminine. In the past, I've enjoyed working with all nurses, no matter there sexual orientation [now on active duty w/Army Nurse Corps]. I realize another person's sexual orientation is irrelevant regards to nursing credibility. Nonetheless, for the most part it is the general public's viewpoint, and some ignorant healthcare professionals, that most male nurses are of a feminine nature, therefore gay.

My point, "at worst being gay" was not meant as an insult to male nurses that are gay.

... think I'll stop here