Will things get better as I get educated?

[Mirai Kangofu]

Not to sound vain, but so far in life, I've usually worked in environments where I've been smarter and more edcuated than many of my coworkers (retail, CNA, waitressing). Even if I try to simplify my everyday rhetoric, I still get blank looks and demands to "speak English," like the time I used the word defecate the other day. I think that this is one of the reasons why I've encountered a lot of drama, and it's been discouraging me from nursing as a career choice. After a particularly stressful day at the LTC facility where I work, I was pulled aside by a nurse, who said, "Don't worry about them. They're intimidated by the fact that you're young, smart, pretty, and you have a chance to move on. It'll get better once you're surrounded by your intellectual equals." Will a portion of this drama pass as I advance into my career? I hope so. I've worked different jobs in which I the majority of coworkers were fellow college students, and the work environments were much nicer than those that employed mostly lay people. I know that drama will always be present, but do you think that things will at least improve beyond people snapping at me to shut up if I ask them to please help with trays while they're talking on the phone while on duty?

[llg, PhD, RN]

Research has shown that success in the workplace is as much a function of EQ (emotional intelligence) as it a function of IQ (intellect). Knowing how to get along with people is crucial for success in most fields. While some of your issues may improve with more education, some will probably not. You'll need to develop the insight into yourself and the "people skills" necessary to work with people of all types to have good relationships with your co-workers.

For more information EQ and the skills that we all need in this area, check out the following website:

http://www.eiconsortium.org

llg

[Altra, BSN, RN]

Research has shown that success in the workplace is as much a function of EQ (emotional intelligence) as it a function of IQ (intellect). Knowing how to get along with people is crucial for success in most fields. While some of your issues may improve with more education, some will probably not. You'll need to develop the insight into yourself and the "people skills" necessary to work with people of all types to have good relationships with your co-workers.

Excellent post. (emphasis is mine)

Anyone remember the book, "All I Really Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten"? No matter what your field/industry, or your position, the basics are there: be kind, be appreciative, be responsible and accountable.

The EQ principles llg mentioned refer to "people skills" such as being able to "read" what people are NOT saying when they're talking, active listening, and being able to anticipate different points of view and different reactions.

Good luck to you.

[RazorbackRN, BSN, RN]

Not to be rude, but just from reading this post, it's probably not that you're really smarter than everyone else, it's just that you think you are. When you have that "greater than thou" attitude, people will be mean to you. I can promise you that if you go into the nursing profession thinking that you are smarter than everyone else, you will be one of the victims of "nurses eating their young".

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Most of my experience has come from life and simply living it. Although I have a masters degree, I still learn from everyone that I come into contact with. For instance, yesterday, I cared for an 84 y/o lady who takes care of her bedridden 95 y/o sister at home without any help whatsoever. She was inspirational! You learn more about compassion and the human spirit than you will ever learn from books.

Don't give up on learning and don't ever stop learning! Good luck...

Kind of reminds me of the "Desiderata" which states:

"As far as possible, without surrender,

be on good terms with all persons.

Speak your truth quietly and clearly;

and listen to others,

even to the dull and the ignorant;

they too have their story."

http://www.fleurdelis.com/desiderata.htm

[hypnotic_nurse]

I've been in your shoes. Some people are very intimidated by knowledge display and this is exacerbated if the knowledge displayer is younger, better looking, of a different gender, or is perceived to have been given better life opportunities. It gets easier as you get older; people seem to accept my intelligence more now that I'm an old(er) lady, or maybe it's just that I've developed Mom Wisdom.

It is important to remember that you can learn from those around you, just as those others will learn from you if they choose to do so.

You can learn to adjust your vocabulary and speech style to your audience; you'll want to do this anyway if you intend to be a nurse, because most of your patients will have no medical background, will come from varied educational backgrounds and most will need explanations of even simple processes without the use of jargon.

[CoffeeRTC, BSN, RN]

What ever you do, do not use the word micturate. LOL.

I think other posters answered this thread with good advise. Just be carefull of your body language and spoken words.

When I started at my LTC as a CNA, I was a "school" girl. I was in school for my BSN. At that time most of the CNAs if not all of them were grandfathered in to the certification and all of the nurses were ADs. I had no real clue that anyone would see me as being different or "upity" or "smart", but they did. Occasionally I would use a big word like posterior or "hey...I noticed a bruise on Mrs x's anticubital when I was doing pm care"..Well, some thought I was being a smarty pants, maybe I was trying out my newly learned vocabulary, but I never realized how I came off.

Another big thing to consider is that as nurses a big part of what we do is teach. If you are not taking in to consideration the education level of your intended..its a waste of time. You can use all the proper terms you want, but if they have no clue what deficate means you will be getting alot of nods and smiles.

[purplemania, BSN, RN]

Yes it will get better, but only if you surround yourself with people more educated than you who will stimulate you intellectually. Otherwise, you will always sound like a smartaleck. In fact, you may BE a smart aleck if you are using 12 dollar word when a 3 dollar one will do.

I love to read and do research (ok, I am weird). I find I know more "things" than some of my peers, but am really ignorant about a lot of other stuff, so depend on my friends to help me out in areas I lack knowledge or skill. We help one another. I also find it helps to seek opportunities to use my knowledge so I have the stimulation and outlet I need without coming across as a know-it-all (which I know I am not). Hope this helps. I encourage education!

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

I think I was a bit harsh with my post. You hit on my pet peeve, which is prejudice and attitudes of superiority towards those without college degrees. While statistics will reveal that the average college graduate has a higher IQ than the average high school graduate, let's remember that this refers to group averages not individuals. What I am trying to say is while there are trends, woe unto you if you assume anything about any particular individual. Those assumptions are unfair and can backfire on you badly.

While your vocabulary is impressive, if your audience doesn't understand you, then why do you persist in using three syllable words? Who benefits? It is unkind and not productive. It is in fact, and act of shaming your audience. That is something that would get you bounced in 1 second flat in clinicals.

When I was younger, I used to use words that I knew my step-father didn't understand. Why did I do it? I disliked him. I thought he was stupid. I didn't respect him. In the end though, me using three syllable words around him revealed my own insecurity about myself. Now that I am older and wiser, I would never use words I know someone doesn't understand. I have nothing to prove and it is an arrogant, unkind act. I wish you would think about that.

Also, on the topic of intelligence, you cannot control what you are born with. It is a statistical crap-shoot that you were born with whatever IQ you have. You could have been born developmentally disabled, or the next Einstein. You don't have control over that. Also, any of us could experience a brain injury tomorrow and find that all we are able to intellectually do is bag groceries. And you know what? If that grocery bagger is a noble and kind person, I would rather talk with them, than someone with your current attitude. You cannot control your IQ. You can directly control your conduct and attitude towards others. I would rather be around someone who genuinely listens, is kind, and has an attitude of peace and respect towards others than an arrogant MENSA member any day.

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

I remembered reading the following post from the OP recently. This is cut and paste post from another thread by Mirai:

"Good news: She started nitpicking over the "Yo" thing, and I simply replied that it's a idiosyncratic colloquialism and socially conditioned jargon due to my regional and multicultural upbringing. She said that she didn't understand a darn thing that I was saying, but hasn't bugged me about it since. She's looking for other things, of course, but I'm noticing that advanced rhetoric can drive some people off.

lgflamini, the thank-you card is a really good idea. Killing with kindness does work, come to thing of it. I'll bring her doughnuts as well. Should I do it in front of people and feed her ego, or in private to make it seem more sincere?

I'm still having problems with several other CNAs, as the ADON once announced in front of everyone that I'm preparing for nursing school. I've been modest about it, but some definately think that I'm a snob (they prolly think that I'm going to be one of those wrongfully perceived lazy nurses who just push pencils all day). It doesn't get to me personally, but it's a pain that teamwork is nonexistant, especially with the ones who act as if they're doing a HUGE favor for you by coming to work and refuse to help you, never mind the fact that you cleaned up a resident's diarrhea attack for her. I'm still trying to figure out how to confront for that, as I can't complete my work without help for some of the larger residents, but I don't want to further catalyze an outlet for Freudian projection. ever wonder why women are less likely to confront? It's because as soon as you confront, you could be framed as the offender."

Last edited by Mirai Kangofu : 02-24-2006 at 01:32 AM.

[mart18642]

This is not meant as a flame toward you, but I am afraid it is going to come across that way. Please bear with me and read what I write in its entirity.

First of all, you may be "smarter" than some your co-workers, and it is probably not your knowledge that offends people, it is the way you come across. No one likes to feel as if they are the "dummy" in a situation. As you go through the nursing course, you will learn it is better to communicate on the persons level with whom you are conversing. This applies to patients, family and co-workers. You may know a lot of "big words", but if the person you are talking to does not use or hear these words, it means little to them and they feel intimitated.

Second, no one knows so much they cannot learn something from someone else. (ex. last night at work I had a 7 month baby, with a trach come to the ER. I have never taken care of a trached child before. The mother taught me some things I never knew. Even though I have more education in the medical field, the mother had more knowledge in caring for her trached child.) What I am saying is we have to learn from each other. Every one has some knowledge about something, and sometimes it is best to sit back, listen and learn.

Third, you may have the IQ of Einstein, but if you cannot apply that knowledge, what good is it? There are different types of intelligence, just as there are different types of education. Life is the best teacher in my opinion. I am 51 years old and I still learn every day, and hope to do so until the day I die, and even then I hope to learn something.

I hope I am making sense here. I know what I want to say, just not sure if I am getting my point across.

I am sure you will do fine in your nursing career. Best wishes to you as you continue on this journey.

I really enjoyed reading you commend, very wise advise.......

MGRN_BSN

[Nashima]

I would rather be around someone who genuinely listens, is kind, and has an attitude of peace and respect towards others than an arrogant MENSA member any day.

While I agree with all the above posters, I must say this....

I love multicollinarity's blunt honesty. :)

Sugar coating may make things easier to swallow/hear, but it may not help someone understand your message.

[epiphany]

Even if I try to simplify my everyday rhetoric, I still get blank looks and demands to "speak English," like the time I used the word defecate the other day.

I don't know if you are smart or not, but the use of superfluous words is not necessarily a sign of intelligence.

For instance, in nursing situations, with patients or coworkers, "voided" or "bowel movements" or "going to the bathroom" works very well. If you are using the "defecate" in every day language, people will look at you funny regardless of whether they understand you.

Just saying.