Will somebody PLEASE tell these doctors....

Nurses General Nursing

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Specializes in Utilization Management.

1. That we are not their secretaries? and that they are just as able to pull up their own computer rounding list as we are?

2. That no, I CANNOT explain the risks and benefits of a surgical procedure, and NO, I do not consider it my responsibility to "remind" you to get consent on the day of the procedure. I can only witness the INFORMED consenting patient's signature.

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Specializes in ER, NICU, NSY and some other stuff.

3. Just because you THOUGHT it does not make it ordered. Do not get mad at me when you do not have results on a test that you wanted but didn't actually tell anyone. OR if you did write it but are still carrying the chart under your arm that also does not make it ordered.

As I told one of my notorious offenders the other night, "I left my ESP at home tonight if you want something you are gonna have to write it and HAND me the chart."

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

4. I am NOT calling ther florist to send your mistress AND your wife flowers, just beause you met some other flooz at a bar last night and didn't come home or go to your mistress' condo.

(He's not at our hospital anymore, but i bet the next place is just having a field day with that dude's pager)

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.

5. I am not a mind reader. Just because you can't remember what the instrument is, doesn't mean i'll instantly know what the heck you want.

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Specializes in Looking for a career in NICU.
I am NOT calling ther florist to send your mistress AND your wife flowers, just beause you met some other flooz at a bar last night and didn't come home or go to your mistress' condo.

(He's not at our hospital anymore, but i bet the next place is just having a field day with that dude's pager)

Hey, I would volunteer to do this...then "accidently" get the cards mixed up...bet he won't ask you again.

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Specializes in Almost everywhere.
Hey, I would volunteer to do this...then "accidently" get the cards mixed up...bet he won't ask you again.

:w00t:

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6. When you stop yelling at me and talk to me like I am a human being, then I will let you in on a little secret...... YOU HAVE THE WRONG CHART.

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Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

7. If you want us to follow that order, please make it LEGIBLE.

8. If you DC/reduce the pain med/sleeper on your frequent flyer drug dependant one day postop patient in traction, please tell THE PATIENT that you feel that they don't need it. That is YOUR job.

9. The admitting MD should address code status, as soon as appropriate. They will not play MD russian roulette, passing that "gun" around to each of the 5 specialists, hoping that the "gun" goes off on the specialists and not the PCP. This is not fair nor ethical care of your patient. And PS: if a competent patient requests to be a "no code"...it is their right to be one and if you are unwilling to comply, then you need to tell them upfront and permit them to transfer their care to another HCP. Do not wait two weeks into the hopsitalization, allow them to deteriorate, then find out that they are a full code, and prohibit transfer of care since they are no longer "competent". Or require a psych consult for suicidal ideation before permitting no code status. (did Terri Schiavo's fight mean nothing?)

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Specializes in cardiac med-surg.

10. flag your orders dingaling

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Specializes in cardiac med-surg.

11. put your charts away!

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Specializes in cardiac med-surg.

12. when you are done with your superconfidential census, don't leave it laying around put it in the appropriate disposal unit

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Specializes in Med Surg/Tele/ER.

13. That I know putting down a NG is a simple procedure!!!! And I guess that is why you could not get it either!!! and had to get the ear, nose & throat guy to do it!:lol2: :lol2:

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