Will I ever get over this? Personally or professionally.

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I have been an RN for a little less than 2 months and I was terminated from my first job today and I havent been able to stop crying since 8am. I made the worst mistake ever and could have killed someone. I gave a resident 66 units of Regular insulin and she was supposed to receive 66 units of 70/30. Not only did I draw up the wrong insulin, I administered it. Her BGL was 134 before the dose and I almost passed out when I realized what I had done. I had her stay with me and gave her applesauce, apple juice and pudding by the time the CCC showed up and took my head off (which I totally deserved). When I left at 9:30 she was ok and had had no ill effects from the mistake. She was eating breakfast and denied feeling bad at all. However, I am having a hard time forgiving myself. I am an emotional disaster and I am so scared that I wont be able to find another job. I only worked there for 4 weeks so Im not even putting them on my resume, but I am seriously freaking out. I feel like I may never recover from this. And its not because I lost my job, I deserved that; but because I made a mistake that could have been fatal and now Im second guessing everything I know about myself and my abilities and desire to be a nurse.

Take a deep breath,,, and repeat. You did NOT almost kill someone. You did NOT deserve to lose your job!!

I imagine you are cried out, no harm with a good cry. Just don't cry over it anymore.. it is wasted energy.

What kind of facility were you working at? I am thinking it is a LTC that gave you minimal orientation. Correct me if I am wrong. You reacted to .. and handled the situation perfectly.

Shame on that facility for not viewing that as a teachable moment.

I would also leave that bs off my resume.Two months will not affect your job search.

You must learn from this(I know you have)... and move FORWARD.

I couldn't nurse my way out of a wet paper bag after 2 months on the job, I might have even made the same mistake , but was too dumb to realize it. We learn and grow with every situation.

Stop beating yourself up for this!

How true that is!

I hate how I keep reading on here that people are being fired for making a medication error. If we all were fired every time we made an error there'd be no-one working. Seriously.

I don't understand the employer's point of view here, fire the new nurse who made a mistake, realised it immediately and took the appropriate action to safeguard the patient and mitigate the problems resulting from the mistake thus showing integrity, common sense and remorse, and hire someone else who hasn't yet made their first medication error? It's craziness.

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Awwww sweetie, I'm so incredibly sorry. What a horrible thing to go through so early on in your career.

Know this though, there are two groups of nurses: those who have made a med error, and those who will.

A couple of the most conscientious, seasoned, and insanely intelligent RN's I've worked with through the years have made at some point, potentially fatal med errors. It was incredibly hard on them too.

The great thing is you immediately recognized your error (and yes, it was a biggie) and took appropriate steps to protect your patient. The "firing" was not a reflection on you personally, but rather the facility protecting its @ss...they may have to report serious events to the state, and also the patient may make a "complaint."

We RN's are the end user in this game of coordinating care for patients; we are dispensible and easily replaced in the event a fall-guy or whipping boy is needed. So...tag, you're it. Welcome to nursing.

Move on and keep going.

You are not your mistake.

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I am absoultely petrified of and for the nurse that does not fully appreciate the ramifications and potential for very severe consequences that can be caused by their action or inaction. You clearly are not that nurse.

Your response was textbook perfect and you acted with integrity. Learn from this and do not let it immobilize or define you.We need more nurses like you.

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Specializes in LTC.

I'm so sorry for you loosing your job. You made a mistake and thank God the pt. was ok. It will take time but you will bounce back from this. Don't give up on yourself.

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Specializes in geriatric.

I'm sorry you lost your job....chin up. I almost made a mistake a few nights ago with insulin. I was required to use an insulin pen to give 61 units of Levemir....the pen only went as high as 60. I decided to inject twice b/c I couldnt find a 100 unit syringe (not sure if they make them). I asked another nurse that was working with me in passing "so i draw 50 units then 21 units for the second injection" Wow and I'm good with math! It seems like a small error but is really soooo big. Im still in a small state of terror at the error I almost made because of simple math. Anyway, I guess it all comes back the rights of med admin....I learned a valuble lesson as did you!

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Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

everyone makes mistakes, and the only nurses who will tell you've they've never made a medication error are either lying or too stupid to realize they've made one. you did the exact right thing -- acknowledged your error and then did the best you could to minimize the potential harm to the patient. you also realize that you could have harmed the patient and don't seem to be justifying or excusing your mistake in any way. good for you!

yes, you will get over this. personally and professionally. i've made some whoppers, as has every other nurse i know. i'm sorry you've lost your job over this one. hopefully you'll move on and find a better job next time. good luck.

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Specializes in ICU.

I'm so sorry this happened and that you lost your job! You WILL get over it and be a better nurse for it. ...On a side note, my first facility required a nurse co-signer for insulin; the one I'm at now doesn't.

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on an off topic note as far as the 2nd signer on meds is concerned at my first clinical rotation (I'm a student) the "second check" was somewhat of a joke as one RN would walk up to another one, say "gimme your badge" and scan it for a "second signer"...

from what I can tell (being a diabetic) you did well by your patient - I've given myself too much insulin before but a good snack (which you gave) sounds like it solved any potential issue...you sound like a great nurse!

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Just for the future always have a 2nd nurse check you insulin. You made a mistake, everyone does. The important thing is you recognized it, you reacted appropriately, and you learned from it. Keep moving on.

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I am sorry this happened to you. With the story you presented, I gather you worked for a LTC facility. So many medications and treatments to administer, and so little time. Insulin for all the Residents in one drawer, and in addition, 70/30 insulin is so rarely used anymore. You don't have a computer to assist you with you medication pass, that would have "red flagged" the error. Add the fact you have only been a Nurse for 2 months. You are still a novice, and you simply would not have the capability in catching the error. I do understand how a mistake like this could have happened. You made an error, but you followed through with the proper interventions like a pro. Shame on your facility for terminating you!

Right now you need support. I was wondering if you would feel comfortable with talking to one or more of your past instructors at your school? I am sure they could give you a great deal of support, and assist with gaining a good perspective of what happened. They know you and your work the best, and that you are a conscientious NURSE.

As far as job searching, you will get another job. Just be honest with why you were terminated. Many hiring managers will have a sympathetic ear to your story. Believe in yourself! :kiss

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Specializes in geriatrics.

It happens and you've learned. With insulin especially, I am always extra vigilant, because I do not want to make an error. In the future, you will be very cautious. I'm sorry you had to learn this way. Don't beat yourself up.

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Reading your post reminds me of something a favorite clinical instructor used to tell us: "if you ever meet a nurse with any measurable experience who tells you she's never made a mistake, she's either lying or too stupid to know the difference."

Sums it up.

The mistake you made was one of inexperience, lack of automated checking that I think you'll get as time goes on (you know, where you check something without even realizing you're doing it, you've done it so many times). It was a big one, but not a fatal one, and you owned up to it immediately. That says alot about your character. I personally have known a good number of nurses who would have tried to hide the error by overstuffing the patient with sugar and not telling anyone why.

I wouldn't leave it off the resume, I'd explain it. Calmly, and with affirmation that you learned a HUGE lesson from it, etc etc. No nurse manager worth a grain of sand is going to think you are Satan's own nurse for having made such a mistake.

You'll move past this to be one of those very conscientious nurses who triple-checks her insulin, I'll bet :)

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