Will I ever get over this? Personally or professionally.

[DoodabuzzRN]

I have been an RN for a little less than 2 months and I was terminated from my first job today and I havent been able to stop crying since 8am. I made the worst mistake ever and could have killed someone. I gave a resident 66 units of Regular insulin and she was supposed to receive 66 units of 70/30. Not only did I draw up the wrong insulin, I administered it. Her BGL was 134 before the dose and I almost passed out when I realized what I had done. I had her stay with me and gave her applesauce, apple juice and pudding by the time the CCC showed up and took my head off (which I totally deserved). When I left at 9:30 she was ok and had had no ill effects from the mistake. She was eating breakfast and denied feeling bad at all. However, I am having a hard time forgiving myself. I am an emotional disaster and I am so scared that I wont be able to find another job. I only worked there for 4 weeks so Im not even putting them on my resume, but I am seriously freaking out. I feel like I may never recover from this. And its not because I lost my job, I deserved that; but because I made a mistake that could have been fatal and now Im second guessing everything I know about myself and my abilities and desire to be a nurse.

[NurseOnAMotorcycle, ASN, RN]

So DoodabuzzRN you wrote this thread on March 7 , 2012. How are you doing these days? Did you ever get over it?

Doh! Taken in by an old thread! How embarrassing!

[RNOTODAY, BSN, RN]

You did NOT almost kill someone. Please get this out of your head.

[SubSippi]

I'm so sorry that happened! I don't think my facility would have fired you either. We have a lot of new grads, and some have made some pretty big errors and haven't gotten fired. I agree with the PP who said that you would probably be one of the most careful now, when it comes to giving medication.

I also work at a place that doesn't require double checks for insulin. It makes me nervous, but I don't know how we would even do that when it's not uncommon for me to have 6/6 patients who are diabetic. I always tell my patient what kind/how much I'm giving, a lot of them have been diabetic for decades, and often they will stop me if I'm giving them a dose they're not used to. I haven't made an error yet (that I know of) but I'm hoping that's one more check point. Of course that only works with patients whose brains are still working normally but it's better than nothing!

[sourapril]

I am not trying to downplay your mistake but you didn't kill anyone. If your facility fired you for that reason I think you are better off not working for them.