WHY are nurses so catty??

Nurses Relations

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I swear sometimes i don't know WHY i'm in this profession. My mom works at a job as a RN and was limping one day. Her knee bothers her from time to time, etc...she's overweight (and working on it) but it gives her trouble at times. Instead of someone ASKING her what was wrong, one of the nurses ran to the manager and told her that my mom couldn't "keep up" and didn't seem to be quick enough for the job cuz she seemed disabled. This is a NEW job for my mom, so she's still on orientation technically. The manager called her in and made her take off today to go to Occ health and have it tested so she could be cleared to work. WTF?? She told her "we'll figure out what to do pending what the doc says." so she didn't work today and lost that time worked. Of course she went to occ health, the Doc tested her etc...and cleared her no problem. She told him she was excercising, walking and taking meds for it. Forgot to wrap it that day, but was not having any trouble SINCE that day. I have 2 problems with this. 1 is that NOBODY asked her what was up with her knee that day. NOBODY. 2 is that the manager just jumped on it because of what this other nurse SAID. WHY do nurses feel like they have to police each other's performance? UGH i'm just disgusted.

Specializes in Community Health Nurse.
please don't generalize with the statement "why are nurses so catty". it makes us all look and sound bad.

seems like someone would have asked about her knee before running to management.......................................................................

i agree tweety. all nurses aren't "catty"..........i'm not. i am one of many nurses around the world that stop and ask other nurses how they are feeling, how their day is going, how their day went, if they need to talk about anything personal/professional -- that i'm there for them if they need to talk or simply vent; how can i help them, etc., etc., etc....:)

i've met "catty" nurses, too. some who care less how their peers are doing, feeling, etc. unless that nurse is a "buddy/pal" of theirs. :rolleyes:

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Why are nurses so catty? Because nurses are mostly women and women are just catty.

:chuckle NOT :stone

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Female nurses are catty because they are women, and frankly, many women are catty. Male nurses expect anyone who takes a job to be physically able to perform. It's not personal. In fact, the NM is doing her job by sending the newly hired RN to get eval'd. If the new RN can't physically do the job, now is the time to find out. Again, it's not personal, it's business.

Not to get into stereotypes, but this is only an issue because most nurses are women. Women look at this problem and see an injustice to the individual. Men look at it and see an injustice to the team.

Meow.

Pete Fitzpatrick

RN, CCRN, CFRN, EMT-P

Wow, yes it IS 2005, not 1965, as this reply could have told me.

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Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
Generalizing women as mostly catty, and men more team oriented only further divides nurses. That's really something the profession doesn't need.

THANK YOU!!!

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Specializes in LPN.

After starting a new job a couple months ago, I found one set of my (peers) especially frustrating. Catty? More like, if I don't stop this, I will be set up to be the scapegoat if and when anything bad happens. Sorry, not this chick. 50 years old is too old for these games. There are a lot of jobs out there, if management refuses to help when your new, you may as well walk sooner than later. In my case I went to management with my observations, I figure if someone is crass enough to label me because of a preexisting problem which happened before I came, they should be up to answering for their words and actions. Before you open your mouth toward me, you had be prepared to answer for those words in front of your supervisor. I don't stir up trouble, although I am guilty of it in my earlier years. I certianly don't need it. Don't play games with me just because I am in a vunerable position of being new and don't know all the ropes yet. I personally feel if you treat a person with respect, you will get that respect back. In my case management has come to my side with suggestions and help and will not allow their new to be eaten alive. They have seen trouble before and wish to keep their nurses young and old somewhat satisfied. My advise is, if they can dish it out, they certianly can be served the same dish in return. So don't let a bully verbally abuse you into a cornor. I realize this is a business and that us as employees are basically commodities, and you can't be complaining all the time. The squeaky wheel sometimes gets changed, not just noticed. So be careful and look for answers, just dont let someone else take their troubles out on you.

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So here's the deal.

-95% of nurses are women.

-Men and women are different

-Men and women relate in different ways

-Any profession so completely dominated by on sex, will develop a culture that relects the dominant gender.

Look, not all women are catty. (I believe the post read: "many") Men work in teams differently than women - not neccessarily better, just different. A male-dominated culture wouldhave looked upon this situation differently. The handling might have been different. My working life has spanned male and female-dominated professions. If you'd put up this question on an EMS board, you would have gotten a much different set of replies.

I'm curious what the outcome of this was. Did the nurse lose her job? Was she cleared to return to work? Are there any limitations on her?

Pete Fitzpatrick

RN, CCRN, CFRN, EMT-P

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Trauma, Ortho, Neuro, Cardiac.
If you'd put up this question on an EMS board, you would have gotten a much different set of replies.

Pete Fitzpatrick

RN, CCRN, CFRN, EMT-P

Probably. Because men don't buy into the stereotype that they are catty.

But ya are.

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first and foremost, i despise stereotypes of any type.

to take a few bad seeds and have them misrepresent the image of any given profession is just unfounded and unfair.

why is it so damned difficult for people to look at others as the individuals they are. no matter where you go in life, there are those that are trouble makers, catty, back-stabbing, yada, yada, yada.

what WOULD help the image of nsg is to NOT stereotype of nurses/women being catty; that nurses eat their own/ the young. if and when that happens, you can bet your bottom dollar that they're like that when they're not nsg.....so rise above it. do not get involved in the rumor mills, the gossip-do your job- treat others as you would want to be treated. but do not let a few bad apples blur your vision of nsg. afterall, we're there for the patients. if you feel you've been victimized, then confront the perpetrator. if it happens again, take it to your supervisor,but ALWAYS remain professional and never sink to their level.

again, no matter where you work, there will always be 'those' type of people. but it's very short-sighted to stereotype an entire profession or gender because of a few jerks.

i don't know why but it seems that people thrive on focusing on the negative rather than appreciating the positive. God i hate stereotypes. :stone

leslie

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first and foremost, i despise stereotypes of any type.

to take a few bad seeds and have them misrepresent the image of any given profession is just unfounded and unfair.

why is it so damned difficult for people to look at others as the individuals they are. no matter where you go in life, there are those that are trouble makers, catty, back-stabbing, yada, yada, yada.

what WOULD help the image of nsg is to NOT stereotype of nurses/women being catty; that nurses eat their own/ the young. if and when that happens, you can bet your bottom dollar that they're like that when they're not nsg.....so rise above it. do not get involved in the rumor mills, the gossip-do your job- treat others as you would want to be treated. but do not let a few bad apples blur your vision of nsg. afterall, we're there for the patients. if you feel you've been victimized, then confront the perpetrator. if it happens again, take it to your supervisor,but ALWAYS remain professional and never sink to their level.

again, no matter where you work, there will always be 'those' type of people. but it's very short-sighted to stereotype an entire profession or gender because of a few jerks.

i don't know why but it seems that people thrive on focusing on the negative rather than appreciating the positive. God i hate stereotypes. :stone

leslie

Very well said. :yelclap:

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Probably. Because men don't buy into the stereotype that they are catty.

But ya are.

You are sooo right Tweety.

I worked fire/rescue before I became a nurse. Usually the only woman at the station. The men were just as bad with the gossiping and trash talking about the other shifts, their last station(we rotated between two stations each week,) etc.

There were crews that were notorious for the stories they would come up and other crews did not degrade themselves by participating in the behavior.

Gender has nothing to do with it. It is all about insecurity and petty jealousy.

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Not to excuse their behaviour - they sound just a wee bit insensitive on that ward...!

But it could be happening because the nurses on that unit have been "burned" by some other nurse in the past, who wasn't able to carry her fair share of the load, etc.... I know when we've had a few new hires with various problems that did not get picked up on before the end of their probationary period - big headache then, believe me, no matter what the problem is! So we try to let the manager know about any issues with new staff members, just to keep the lines of communication open.

To me, it sounds like the "catty-ness" was on the part of the manager who took the nurses complaints straight to her face! imo, it's the managers job to look at the bigger picture and not take one or two shifts as indicators of what an employee will be like forever.... it could have been handled differently by the manager. Also, if the manager didn't reward the other nurses tattle-take behaviour with results, the behavior might not be so prominent.... why isn't the MANAGER telling her nurses to give the new person half a chance, or ask questions rather than accuse...?

WELL said. I think the manager was completely wrong in how she jumped the gun. I mean for my mom, this is a nurse who is a 21 year VETERAN in her specialty. She took a new job to be closer to us and her grandbabies. UGH it still makes my blood boil.

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Female nurses are catty because they are women, and frankly, many women are catty. Male nurses expect anyone who takes a job to be physically able to perform. It's not personal. In fact, the NM is doing her job by sending the newly hired RN to get eval'd. If the new RN can't physically do the job, now is the time to find out. Again, it's not personal, it's business.

Not to get into stereotypes, but this is only an issue because most nurses are women. Women look at this problem and see an injustice to the individual. Men look at it and see an injustice to the team.

Meow.

Pete Fitzpatrick

RN, CCRN, CFRN, EMT-P

There in lies the cruxt of the issue. who said there was an injustice? Haven't you ever gone to work worn out from the day before, maybe had a bike accident or worked out too hard? maybe just over did it and wasn't completely up to par that ONE day? I mean come on.......it just seemed OVERKILL to jump on it IMMEDIATELY.

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