WHY are nurses so catty??

[SnowymtnRN]

I swear sometimes i don't know WHY i'm in this profession. My mom works at a job as a RN and was limping one day. Her knee bothers her from time to time, etc...she's overweight (and working on it) but it gives her trouble at times. Instead of someone ASKING her what was wrong, one of the nurses ran to the manager and told her that my mom couldn't "keep up" and didn't seem to be quick enough for the job cuz she seemed disabled. This is a NEW job for my mom, so she's still on orientation technically. The manager called her in and made her take off today to go to Occ health and have it tested so she could be cleared to work. WTF?? She told her "we'll figure out what to do pending what the doc says." so she didn't work today and lost that time worked. Of course she went to occ health, the Doc tested her etc...and cleared her no problem. She told him she was excercising, walking and taking meds for it. Forgot to wrap it that day, but was not having any trouble SINCE that day. I have 2 problems with this. 1 is that NOBODY asked her what was up with her knee that day. NOBODY. 2 is that the manager just jumped on it because of what this other nurse SAID. WHY do nurses feel like they have to police each other's performance? UGH i'm just disgusted.

[Katnip, RN]

Generalizing women as mostly catty, and men more team oriented only further divides nurses. That's really something the profession doesn't need.

[crjnursewarrior]

I am sorry that it seems to some of you like we are stereotyping, but the fact is that nurses are catty...however, I would disagree with the people that say it is because they are women, and that male nurses do not behave in this manner. Male nurses can be just as catty and backstabbing as the female nurses...in fact, it has been my experience with several, not all, but several male nurses I have worked with, that they use their being male to get special, preferential treatment. I mean I am sure that this is not the case with ALL male nurses, just as the fact is that ALL female nurses are not catty...but you have people who behave badly of EITHER gender in ALL professions...nursing is no exception. The fact that a lot of nurses are high-strung, competitive people just breeds this kind of behavior. Let's face it...most nurses did not get to be nurses by being shy, timid people...and so that aggression needed to jump the hurdles needed to get through nursing school and such, comes through, in the workplace, for some people, as "catiness" (if that is even a word)....like it or not it's the truth. :)

[Katnip, RN]

I still can't agree that most nurses tend to be catty.

Many are assertive, yes. But that doesn't translate to catty. Catty is mean pettiness, not assertiveness.

Most nurses I work with are kind and supportive. If they have a problem with you, they'll tell you. There's very little nasty gossip behind people's backs. And they definitely aren't high strung.

It could be our definitions vary from each other and that's where the problem lies.

I still don't think that nurses are catty.

[z's playa]

I see this thread being closed veeery soon. :chuckle

Z

[soontobe_RN]

You know something is wrong, when every thread you visit will have nurses or student nurses argueing back and forth!!!!

Why can't we just get along???!!!

Jennifer

[z's playa]

Because that would be no fun I guess. :)

I was told once it was called "discussion"..not an arguement at all.

Z

[soontobe_RN]

Because that would be no fun I guess. :)

I was told once it was called "discussion"..not an arguement at all.

Z

Yeh, but you have to admit, most of the time it seems more like argueing than discussing? LOL !!!

Jen

[z's playa]

Yeh, but you have to admit, most of the time it seems more like argueing than discussing? LOL !!!

Jen

I know :)

Z

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

Why are nurses so catty? Because nurses are mostly women and women are just catty.

And men are just so physically violent.

And republicans are just so heartless..

And democrats don't really work for a living and are atheist, antilife monsters.

And welfare mothers just sit on their rears all day long.

And whites are just so stuck up and full of themselves.

And arabs are all terrorists...and their women are wimps.

And MDs are all full of themselves and only in it for the money.

And Jews are cheap and Christians are just hypocrites

And blacks are....

----------------------------------------------------------------------

It will be nice when we all grow up and cease to stereotype.

Please don't presume to speak for all of us.

----------------------------------------------------------------------

I could place a bet on how many posts that it would take to make one incident into a stereotyping a whole group as having the same bad behavior...less than 6 posts.

Anyone want to ante up for the pot?

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

It's not just nursing. My sister once worked in a law office with 10 other women, and they just about destroyed her with their glares and their whispers every time she walked by......as an older worker with not-so-great clothes, she apparently downgraded the office's public appearance, so the supervisor stashed her in a tiny cubicle waaaaaay in the back where she couldn't be seen. These women never invited her to lunch, never even spoke to her unless business demanded it, gossiped about her even though they knew nothing about her, and within 3 months my sister was a quivering wreck. Thankfully she got smart and shook the dust of the place from her feet before they managed to crush her spirit completely.......but that's only one example.

I myself have worked in factories and offices, where the women just tore each other to pieces while the men looked on and said "That's why women belong at home, barefoot and pregnant". It's a horrible stereotype, but we don't help ourselves much by perpetuating it on the job........and nurses ARE some of the worst!! Where I work now, there are only a few, but those few are vocal and so they get noticed.......I got written up just last week for not getting a patient on telemetry when he was admitted, only problem was, I was on lunch break (at 3PM!! :angryfire ) and didn't even know he had arrived. That was the result of one Miss Perfect Nurse who has never done anything even slightly wrong in her entire life (we won't talk about missed orders, leaving a mess for the next shift, or undocumented IV starts). She's a power broker, and now they've made her a charge nurse......the very first day, she gave me an assignment, then after I'd made up my 'brains' and gotten all my pt. information, she changed it. :angryfire So I started out behind, and while I did get caught up eventually it was still a huge PITA.

The only thing any of us can do about this sort of thing is to refuse to participate in it ourselves........stay above the fray, don't get involved in the office politics, and above all, lead by example. It's not worth getting worked up over. Of course, I'm older and it's easier for me to not care about what 'people' think about me (although it does piss me off when management buys into it), but it can be done anywhere, and by anyone.....you just have to ignore it all and do the job you're being paid for.

And that's all I have to say about THAT. :stone

[RN4NICU, LPN, LVN]

It will be nice when we all grow up and cease to stereotype.

Please don't presume to speak for all of us.

Amen, sister!

[mydesygn]

To me, it sounds like the "catty-ness" was on the part of the manager who took the nurses complaints straight to her face! imo, it's the managers job to look at the bigger picture and not take one or two shifts as indicators of what an employee will be like forever.... it could have been handled differently by the manager. Also, if the manager didn't reward the other nurses tattle-take behaviour with results, the behavior might not be so prominent.... why isn't the MANAGER telling her nurses to give the new person half a chance, or ask questions rather than accuse...?

I feel sorry for your mom. I know what she is going through. There is no excuse for the way that nurse behaved. We allow that behaivior to continue by excusing it -- nurses are overworked, the patients are high acuity, nurses are stressed. Well you know what - so are police officers and firefighters and yet they manage to treat their colleagues with far more respect. Bottom line-- if that nurse had any concern for your mother or the patients- she would have asked your mother what she could do to help her and if your mother needed help, they could have both gone to the manager if need be. Instead by going to the manager she threatened your mother's livlihood needlesly, she undermined the trust of your mother and the unit staff.

I have been fortunate to work in many good units where teamwork and support exist and what they all had in common is that petty complaints never went to the manager (might complain to one another but that is where it stopped) and mangement never confronted nurses with minor or pettty issues. As much as I blame the nurse, I beleive the manager has the bigger responsibility not to encourage that behaivior by acting on it. If it was brought to me -- my question to the nurse would have been -- What did she say when you asked why she was limping? When she replied I don't know, I would talk about how it is important to help and understand colleagues etc.. I still, however, would have talked to your mother. Based on the conversation, we would decide if anything needed to be done.

I have seen how pettiness and poor management lead to discord and run off good, responsible nurses. The petty ones will stay because mangement and staff support them, but new staff are gone within 2 years. It's a shame. Tell your mom, their are good units out there and now she will recognize and appreciate them when she finds one.

I recently started in a clinical manager position (had been a non-clinical manager before but still the department was all women) and I make every effort to respond to issues but not justify pettiness. I beleive good management can curtail this. I don't want to lose a good nurse because of a petty one.