Why is it MEN seem to get along better in this field than WOMEN??!!!

[1BlessedRN]

Hello this was brought up to me so now I'm sharing it with you all, I had a new R.N. nurse come to me in tears because another R.N. treated and talked to her very badly when she asked her basic questions, and in the midst of her tears she stated her brother was also a new nurse and doctors even help him when he had a problems she didn't seem to understand why women wouldn't like to help women, I have also seem to witness in this field men do seem to get along alot better than women, you will find a few nurses that will help you when in need but that is a very few, I don't know if it's due to the shortage everybody is overworked or underpaid, but we are killing the younger generation of nurses who do try and probaly will oneday make good nurses if they can handle the stressful enviroment any suggestions?

[oramar]

Men also murder each other at a rate 10 times higher than women. So it is a matter of perspective.

[Monist]

Monist I know you probaly meant well but speaking from a female point of view I believe you just DECLARED WAR!!!

I agree with some of this, but the part where you say it will end only when more males are in nursing are you stating that women are not professionals, only men? maybe it's late and I'm seeing wrong but anyway I will come back to this post tomorrow.

Nighty nite

I'm saying it doesn't matter if women are professionals or not. I'm saying we are a male dominated species, so men call the shots. It doesn't have to be this way, but it is reinforced by women more than it is by men. Women keep acting like women and keep insisting that men act like men. Case in point: One flower-patterned or teddy-bear patterned warm up jacket can throw all the educational credit a woman has down the toilet in the eyes of a male HCP. One calendar with male nurses and doctors hanging up in the nurses station proves only one thing to a man: women become nurses to marry a doctor.

I want to treat the women where I work more like professionals than they will ever allow me to do. Sad but true.

The Monist

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Wow your workplaces suck---- or do they??? I have MOSTLY supportive, caring and wonderful coworkers, some of which I consider friends (not all). The few who tried to " eat " me as a young 'un, well, I put em in their place. I let them know in no uncertain terms, they were picking on the wrong person. And they quit, never to bother me again. But I always treat them WITH RESPECT,and I do mean always. I don't work in Utopia, but it's very workable and most of the time pleasant to be around my coworkers.

I guess we sometimes we get what we put out. (karma?) Barring passive-aggressive and catty behavior on YOUR parts, as well as those you complain about, you can have a wonderful time with your female coworkers----but you have to take some initiative yourselves NOT to propogate it. We get what we GIVE often enough, really. That is not news.

I love where I work and we are ALL female. I have been there for many of my coworkers thru very tough times and they for me. When I was hospitalized, they visited me (it was a different hospital 20 miles up the road) and took the time to send a card and flowers. All females doing this? Very little backbiting and witchy behavior going on there. But I think it has a lot to do with taking responsibility for ones own behavior and refusing to participate in any catty behavior they DO see. Take the bull by the horns and take action to STOP it, if at all possible. It really does help.

Im with you Deb. Those environments sound unacceptable when those that help each other are few and far between. On the contrary, on my unit, where I'm the only male at the moment, there is one nurse who has a reputation for keeping to herself and not helping. The rest of us jump when a coworker asks for help. Mind you we aren't breaking our backs looking to help, but when asked we jump. We have a great crew at the moment.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Men also murder each other at a rate 10 times higher than women. So it is a matter of perspective.

Just look at Washington to see how well men play with others. Not well IMHO.

[Jailhouse RN]

Bottom line is that men don't hold grudges like women. If I get into it with a male co worker we can still work side by side and by the end of the shift we would buy the other a beer. Ladies, "Say what you mean and mean what you say." Makes life much easier.

[hobbes]

I really want to hear the guys here tell us honestly what they see and think we should change about ourselves to work better. I really think it would help. For me, all I ever see the men do around me when something's going sour amongst the women is roll their eyes amongst themselves or quietly crawl in to a corner. Lets hear some hard criticism from the guys...

Or, from some of the women here who have great relationships with their women colleages...

:rotfl: As I've been reading this thread, that exactly what I've been doing - rolling my eyes. I think many of you have been too far removed from your biology and psychology classes and want to cling to the belief that everybody is the same and it's just a matter of changing your attitude. Yes, to an extent, but men and women are "wired" differently in many respects. Why is it that so many people were especially appalled at seeing that female MP in Iraq engaging in those horrendous acts? It's because it's not considered natural. Women generally don't have the propensity and inclination to violence that men do. How many times do you hear of little groups of girls torturing animals? Not too often. Yet if its a group of boys, then it's not considered unusual. What would the perception be of one of your male collegues if, after being berated by a doctor or fellow collegue, broke down in tears? The honest among you would probably consider this abnormal behaviour. So, why is it so mind-bogglingly hard to accept the fact that, in general, what can be described as "catty" behavior is often present in a female dominated environment? Similiarly, in male dominated environments, there are going to be characteristic behaviors. These are just the facts of life.

[zenman]

Posted by Monist: Case in point: One flower-patterned or teddy-bear patterned warm up jacket can throw all the educational credit a woman has down the toilet in the eyes of a male HCP.

Hey, both males and females wear aloha scrub shirts over here in Hawaii!

[Dinith88]

so..are we 'wired' differently,..or "socialized' differently? nature-vs-nurture type question i suppose...

I personally think we're getting a wee too deep here...i think it's a matter of individuals and their respective personalities.. (from jerk-*** doctors to jerk-*** nurses to timid-crybaby types to obnoxious dummy -types, etc.). I would favor the 'nurture' argument cause i'm not convinced people are BORN jerk-assess.

However..in regard to Male-vs-female...I HAVE seen perfectly put together women exhibit some mighty strange behavior while PMS'ing (crying and laughing at the same time! for example)...So, i suppose in one sense we cant get away from this obvious difference...

But, i dont think hormone-cycles can be blamed for a person's character.

[SmilingBluEyes]

So we are assuming educated people like nurses cannot over come biology now? Ok then.

[caroladybelle, BSN, RN]

Bottom line is that men don't hold grudges like women. If I get into it with a male co worker we can still work side by side and by the end of the shift we would buy the other a beer.

Please see my post. Some men obviously do hold grudges, to the point that the police/security had to keep an eye on us for several weeks for "our" safety. Again, I have never had the same "problem" with any female coworkers.

Some women hold/or do not hold grudges. It is an individual thing and has more to do with the behavior/agenda held and promoted within the workplace. If you reward or promote bad behavior, it proliferates, If there is no "reward' for bad behavior, it diminishes.

[1BlessedRN]

Quote by Catcolalex in bb #30}I agree with the Monist, I am always hearing nursing say that "we need to be more united and then we will have a stronger voice and get more respect", after all, nurses have more numbers than any other health care profession. But, how can nurses work together nationally, when they can't even work 100% together in a single unit in a single hospital. I also happen to believe that it is no coincidence that nursing is 95% female and has this issue. men aren't perfect, but we generally don't stab ourselves in the back either.

Are you saying you view all women this way? I have known some men to be backbiters, I agree and disagree with some of the responses Monist and yourself have quoted about women, but it is sad that you have witnessed this behaviour as it appears on all the current posts to be everywhere in the healthcare field and it paints a very vague picture of females.

[1BlessedRN]

edited to add smiley