Why is it MEN seem to get along better in this field than WOMEN??!!!

RN34TX · May 10, 2004

Hello this was brought up to me so now I'm sharing it with you all, I had a new R.N. nurse come to me in tears because another R.N. treated and talked to her very badly when she asked her basic questions, and in the midst of her tears she stated her brother was also a new nurse and doctors even help him when he had a problems she didn't seem to understand why women wouldn't like to help women, I have also seem to witness in this field men do seem to get along alot better than women, you will find a few nurses that will help you when in need but that is a very few, I don't know if it's due to the shortage everybody is overworked or underpaid, but we are killing the younger generation of nurses who do try and probaly will oneday make good nurses if they can handle the stressful enviroment any suggestions?

Many (but definitely not ALL so don't shoot me) women in my experience seem to bring their personal crap from home to work with them and take things more personally. My female colleagues comment at times that they like when more of the men are on the floor and get along better with other men than each other. I'm not sure exactly why, but we seem to get along better and not bicker over the small things or make things personal.

Example: I tell my relief nurse (very discreetly and politely) that he/she overlooked something, missed an order, etc. My male relief is more likely to say, "Oh I'm sorry I forgot about that, thanks for covering for me."

Too often my female relief interprets it differently like "You're criticizing me, you hate me, you think I'm a bad nurse." when it has nothing to do with whether or not I like you and I don't think you're a bad nurse over one small oversight during a busy shift.

Spoiled1, MSN, RN · May 10, 2004

I personally feel that women are just that way in general. Nurse or not. We are overly emotional at times. Too often we bring it to the work place, or where ever we are at the time. Women are "catty" and combative.

SmilingBluEyes · May 10, 2004

I think this is wrong. I was in the military (overwhelming male majority in case you did not know), and there were PLENTY OF p##### contests there, believe you me. It's not just women, we just happen out number men in this field. I really think that is an unfair assessment/generalization we put on ourselves as nurses.

oldiebutgoodie, RN · May 10, 2004

Women's brains are wired differently than men's brains. Because we are more sensitive to feeling/emotions, we react differently than men. I have worked with men for the last 25 years, and I could be standing in front of them sobbing and most of them wouldn't notice, unless I hit them over the head with a brick. Okay, that's exaggerating, but men do not pick up on relationship/feeling/emotional things like women.

If a guy is cranky, another guy will just assume that he's having a lousy day. If a women is cranky, another woman will interpret it a thousand different ways--"she hates me", "she is such a *****", etc. etc...

We women have got to stop personalizing things so much, and men could probably use to personalize things a little.

I guess it's just God's little joke... :chuckle

oldiebutgoodie

z's playa · May 10, 2004

I tend to agree with HOTGIRL on this one. As everyone knows by now, I had a run in with a couple of nurses and they turned around and were sweeter than pie to my fiancee. Its sad to say but yes...women are catty and why that is?...Who knows. Competitive, jealousy perhaps. Even if we can't put a finger on whatever it is specifically, there is always that "sizing up" of another woman happening.

Men do it too but not on such an obvious level and they don't pick up when it happens too much so hence, no reaction.

crankyasanoldma · May 10, 2004

I totally disagree. There is not a single male nurse in my unit or my hospital. I've never worked with a nicer group of women. I've been here over 6 years.

I do believe people look for things that confirm their bias. If you spend the day looking for examples of women not helping one another you will likely find plenty. So spend a day looking for good examples. I actually talked a friend out of racism this way.

Kyriaka · May 10, 2004

I think you run into this with women in all business enviroments. I have had women bosses and I have had men bosses and I much prefer the men. With a man you always know where you stand. Men say what they mean and mean what they say.

I hate to use this term, but in the work environment women vomit on one another.

RNPATL, DNP, RN · May 10, 2004

I think when there is competition between women, it can get pretty catty. However, I work with a great group of women and they all get along very well. I do agree that women bring a lot of baggage to work with them and at times, this baggage can cause problems.

As far as me, as a male .... I just go with flow. Very little ever gets under my craw, but if I do get mad, I let those making me mad know that and DO not hold it in. My female counterparts tend to hold in their anger and then tell the next nurse, who they are friends with, about what the other nurse just did or said to her. This gets both of them worked up and before you know it, the whole unit is in a fit. Not a good thing. I think it is a female thing and most women agree that it is. Not sure why, but it is real. Fortunately, like I said before, I see very little of this behavior from the women I work with. Perhaps that is a product of the fact that these ladies have been working with each other for a number of years. Donno ... just my opinion. :)

duckboy20 · May 11, 2004

I think that most women seem to carry their emotions on their shoulders all the time. Men, at least I find it with myself, tend to let most stuff go in one ear and out the other. Women are more in tune with feelings than men are and are more apt to get them hurt. Not a bad thing, just something that could potentially hurt in the workplace

CardiacNP01 · May 11, 2004

i believe it's a fundamental difference in the genders (i.e. men are from mars, women are from venus, or vice versa). regardless of the reason, this is without question one of core problems that has plagued nursing for years (or even decades). the dissension among nurses is in large part the reason i chose to pursue advanced practice. while i could make close to $100/hr in overtime as an rn in an icu, i simply am not strong enough to withstand the *****ing, moaning, groaning, whining, etc that spews from many of my female colleagues on a regular basis. (yes, female...the men, in general, don't partake in this crap). it's a problem of epidemic proportions that tarnishes the integrity of our profession. luckily, i escaped before they were able to completely suck out the life out of me. :rotfl:

fergus51 · May 11, 2004

I think this is wrong. I was in the military (overwhelming male majority in case you did not know), and there were PLENTY OF p##### contests there, believe you me. It's not just women, we just happen out number men in this field. I really think that is an unfair assessment/generalization we put on ourselves as nurses.

Thank you!!! I have worked with some amazing women and don't think rudeness has anything to do with gender. I have no problem expressing myself appropriately at work, and HATE this "women are just catty" idea. I think it's ridiculous and an excuse and don't have a problem communicating that:)