Why Is It That Everyone Thinks They're A Good Nurse?

Vespertinas · Apr 5, 2012

The only thing I have seen "experience" bring anyone is years and years of bad habits and misguided thoughts.

That's the only thing? So much for avoiding generalizations.

maelstrom143 · Apr 5, 2012

I think the movement of talking yourself up has gotten a little out of hand. I have only been doing this for 6 years and still have a ways to go before I can even get near those nurses I strive to model myself after. Every day, every shift brings new and intrigueing information and experiences and furthers you in becoming better, faster, stronger as a nurse.

When looking at your fourth career move, it is time to take stock of where you are and what is going on, cause something is OBVIOUSLY not working for ya. jmho.

rn/writer, RN · Apr 5, 2012

Mr. Trouble comes around when people--of any age--don't separate themselves and their personal identities from what they do and how well they do it.

Learning to take constructive criticism in a healthy way is an acquired skill that many have never mastered. They equate an honest evaluation of their abilities and actions as an attack on their very being and become defensive and unteachable, to everyone's detriment.

The result is that you have nurses who dismiss valuable input as "eating their young" and wall themselves off from people who could help them if they would only listen. Granted, some criticism is delivered in a harsh or unprofessional manner, and that makes it harder to separate the wheat from the chaff. But if you can't receive any correction without going into a tailspin and developing a chip on your shoulder, you simply will not evolve--as a nurse or as a human being.

People here on AN sometimes try to encourage a member who has made mistakes (sometimes a lot of mistakes!) and either lost a job or was disciplined in some manner, and they say things like, "You're a great nurse," or "I can tell you have a lot of compassion and you care so much," or "Anyone who tries as hard as you do must be a really good nurse."

I think they're trying to comfort the person. But when you're not able to make the distinction between self and skills, identity and actions, personality and vocation, that's what happens. And that's why separating the two is crucial.

The reality is often something like, "You are a wonderful and worthwhile person. But you have made a number of mistakes and you need to take that seriously and work on the areas where you are deficient."

With everything blended into a blur, there is only all up or all down. That is a childish way of thinking, no matter how old the individual is. As a person matures, there should be an increased ability to compartmentalize the different areas of life and give each the reaction and attention it needs.

This is a major life skill that, unfortunately, hasn't been taught the way it should have been. The result is a hodgepodge of confusion, misery, attitude, hostility, hurt, misunderstanding, fear, obsession, and a few other non-productive responses.

Those who care feel tortured and overwhelmed. Those who take a more narcissistic approach feel slighted and irate. Many fall somewhere in between.

What's the solution? Growing up. Recognizing the boundaries between who you are and what you do. Learning to take an honest inventory of what you do and then embracing the good and improving the bad.

This can be done at any age. It's never too early or too late.

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Apr 5, 2012

I was just thinking as I was reading this thread that the only thing more ridiculous than people who don't realize how they are struggling in the beginning is how people cling like desperate grasshoppers to blades of grass in the hurricane to their "experience" as a nurse.
The only thing I have seen "experience" bring anyone is years and years of bad habits and misguided thoughts.

Oh, my. That's all experience brings? Well, then we should all hope that graduating nurses stay in the profession for about a year, and then quit to become baggage handlers at the airport. Because, after all, we wouldn't want to risk them acquiring "years and years of bad habits and misguided thoughts".

anotherone, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2012

what ever happened to striving to be a good nurse but knowing you're not there yet? knowing you need a bit more experience to be a great nurse but you're trying hard? how come everyone these days is a good nurse the moment they graduate?

i am a newer nurse and i do not think i am super nurse. i won't say i am a bad nurse but i am not the best either. i sometimes worry that i am not good enough. there is always room for improvement. always.

PetsToPeople · Apr 5, 2012

It's true, just because you've done something for years does not guarantee your any good at it. For example, maybe your the best out of the group in your dept, but your dept just happens to be that worst in the country, so how good does that really make you?

VICEDRN, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2012

Oh, my. That's all experience brings? Well, then we should all hope that graduating nurses stay in the profession for about a year, and then quit to become baggage handlers at the airport. Because, after all, we wouldn't want to risk them acquiring "years and years of bad habits and misguided thoughts".

Am at 2 years now...seems like most people are running off to grad school. ;-)

VICEDRN, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2012

That's the only thing? So much for avoiding generalizations.

was a little bit, wasn't i? :-)

Edited to add: though I have yet to see a tremendous difference between an RN of 4-5 years experience, 10-15 years experience, and one of 30-40 years experience, except as mentioned, an exponential increase in undesirable traits.

turnforthenurse, MSN, NP · Apr 5, 2012

I don't consider myself a "great" nurse. I'm still in the new grad period (but that is quickly coming to an end.... :eek: ) but I feel like I can adequately do my job. There is always room for improvement.

Vespertinas · Apr 5, 2012

though I have yet to see a tremendous difference between an RN of 4-5 years experience, 10-15 years experience, and one of 30-40 years experience, except as mentioned, an exponential increase in undesirable traits.

That is unfortunate.

Multicollinearity, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2012

I have a similar fear - that the bigger hospitals will paint me with that brush... "Hm if *that's* the best that you could manage, you must be damaged goods some how."[/quote']
I come from urban living all of my life and now live in a rural setting. I probably thought rural nurses would be slower and less experienced, etc. I have come to see just how adaptable and flexible you have to be to work in a rural environment. You have to cover more areas and make do with less.
Put those thoughts out of your mind; don't rent space in your head to negativity and ignorant people. That's what I've had to do to work in a rural nursing environment that carries stigma (correctional nursing).
Most rural nurses excel at one very important thing: we manage whatever comes our way with few resources. Simply because we have to.

TheCommuter, BSN, RN · Apr 5, 2012

A major problem is that society prefers niceness over bluntness virtually every single time. Someone will post here that they've gone through six jobs in two years and still declare, "I'm a great nurse!" However, they do not want any insight into what is really occurring because the truth sometimes hurts.

When many people are faced with a genuine person who is honest (but blunt and rough) and a phony person who offers false reassurances (but is nice), they'll gravitate toward the nice person who tells them what they want to hear. People claim they want the truth, but many cannot handle the truth. They prefer to surround themselves with 'yes'-people, cheerleaders, optimistic Pollyanna personalities, and false reassurances that everything will turn out alright.

Deep down, some people are really on the lookout for a cheerleader to tell them everything that they want to hear.