Why are culturally stereotypical behaviors so tolerated?

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Jan 15, 2015

I'll just say that I, as an individual with little natural pigment, couldn't get away with writing what was in the original post. I was going to quote it, but was uncomfortable.
What I know is that most groups, cultural, ethnic, racial, etc, don't like to be characterized in any negative way.
OP, as a member of a marginalized ethnic group, consider if a white man had typed the last paragraph of your post, but about your ethnic group? Would that raise your hackles?

That hackles get raised is one of her main points.

I have seen, even here on Allnurses, that whites get reprimanded more than do people of color or of certain ethnicities. Essentially, all opinions seem welcome - here, on the job, on TV, etc. - unless they are not pro the causes of our time. Homosexuality, Christianity, can't think of others at the moment, but you get the point - if people are less than 100% pro everything except heterosexuality and standard Christian views and behaviors, they are JUDGED to be phobic, judgmental.

Even being indifferent or silent is not acceptable. One must be totally pro choice in every arena or be judged to be phobic and committing hate crimes in his or her mind. This ranks right up there with students wanting to do surveys here and managers/time investigators asking questions about our work settings.

OP - as long as managers and others in charge allow the behaviors that distress you so, you will have to endure it (if you need the money and can't earn it elsewhere). I wish you well.

Kooky Korky, BSN, RN · Jan 15, 2015

At a new job and once again I am seeing, seemingly for the umpteenth time, some very negative, destructive and disruptive behavior being displayed by a predominantly representative cultural group.
Before you all jump down my throat screaming racism, let's be real here. I'm well aware *anyone* is capable of negative behavior. I'm well aware all groups, ethnic, cultural, socioeconomic, what-have-you, have their weaknesses and foibles. I am a member of a marginalized ethnic group myself. I'm not a bigot. I'm not intolerant or anti-immigrant. I'm a big fat brown leftist. I love the melting pot and the rainbow coalition as much as any dumb liberal, I am not special.
But why....WHY do I consistently see the same group of people seemingly causing so much trouble and heartache in the nursing profession? Over and over I see it demonstrated again, across environments and specialties. For years!!! The drama. The soap operas. The back stabbing. The trash talking. The secrets. The cliques. The passive aggressiveness. The insults. The mind games. The personality conflicts. The abuse of power. The speaking of languages other than English in front of co-workers, patients and families who don't understand. The rudeness!!!!
And this is from people who are intelligent, educated and articulate citizens of society!
I am fed up with how pervasive this behavior has become. It has become so commonplace that the detrimental affects of it are now just accepted, tolerated.....and in some workplaces......embraced........
Don't people see what stereotypes they are? Is there no reflection? Why is this so difficult to talk about without it erupting into emotional and accusatory conflict?

What trouble are they causing? The only way to handle this is to learn Tagalog if that's the language upsetting you. And to see if your bosses will ban languages other than English on duty, with patients, with you and other peers.

When all else fails, smile at them. Enjoy their lumpias and chicken adobo. They always seem to enjoy sharing food, at least, with me. You'll go batty if you try to fight it alone, mate.

GrumpyRN, NP · Jan 15, 2015

But why....WHY do I consistently see the same group of people seemingly causing so much trouble and heartache in the nursing profession? Over and over I see it demonstrated again, across environments and specialties. For years!!! The drama. The soap operas. The back stabbing. The trash talking. The secrets. The cliques. The passive aggressiveness. The insults. The mind games. The personality conflicts. The abuse of power. The speaking of languages other than English in front of co-workers, patients and families who don't understand. The rudeness!!!!
And this is from people who are intelligent, educated and articulate citizens of society!
I am fed up with how pervasive this behavior has become. It has become so commonplace that the detrimental affects of it are now just accepted, tolerated.....and in some workplaces......embraced........

I just presumed you meant females....... :whistling:

tuxedopenguino · Jan 15, 2015

This is a really touchy subject. As someone who is partially of that background, I can see where you're coming from having experienced it not just in the work place but just in general...I've learned to be very cautious, distant...but friendly enough. I also feel that it's easy to be quick to judge and stereotype based on past experiences so...I'm aware I have this bias and I try to maintain my boundaries as best I can. Though personally, I feel most comfortable being in an environment with a real mix of cultural/ethnic backgrounds. I felt uncomfortable once because I felt judged at my workplace for being agnostic.

Pangea Reunited, ASN, RN · Jan 15, 2015

Maybe I'm too easily amused, but I kind of like hearing their language and listening to their immigration stories. I didn't know the Philippines existed until I moved to California...

lovinglife2015 · Jan 15, 2015

If it bothers you that badly, address the issue with Human Resources or the specific people you're complaining about. I have a feeling you're not that brave, so get over it or address the problem directly. Don't come on here anonymously and defame whole groups of people concerning personal situations none of have any knowledge of. All races/groups are prone to cattiness, jealousy )and whatever you complained about) on any given day. Have some class.

mclennan, BSN, RN · Jan 15, 2015

I'll just say that I, as an individual with little natural pigment, couldn't get away with writing what was in the original post. I was going to quote it, but was uncomfortable.
What I know is that most groups, cultural, ethnic, racial, etc, don't like to be characterized in any negative way.
OP, as a member of a marginalized ethnic group, consider if a white man had typed the last paragraph of your post, but about your ethnic group? Would that raise your hackles?

No. Absolutley not. I completely understand and feel ashamed of my ethnicity's self-perpetuating negative stereotypes. Every hour of every day. Most people of my ethnicity behave badly and I fully acknowledge and don't deny the problems it creates. While I am not perfect I am usually an exception. Mostly just by understanding personal responsibility.

Graduatenurse14 · Jan 15, 2015

I live in an area of the country where we are slowly having to deal with these types of situations. I think that in front of patients only English should be spoken so as not to make the patient think that they are being talked about. However, if for example, the patient, the Nursing Assistant and the RN are fluent in that language, then all of them speaking it together is ok.

When I get pedicures I often wonder if I'm getting talked about but I don't really care but if I were laying in a hospital bed, I would be freaked out and wouldn't want it to go on.

caliotter3 · Jan 15, 2015

I had no problem figuring out which group you are referring to. This behavior, I have found, is tolerated because either: 1) management personnel are birds of the same feather; or, 2) management looks the other way because the minority ethnicities are just that, the minority; or, 3) management is just plain ineffectual anyway.

muirite · Jan 15, 2015

When I get pedicures I often wonder if I'm getting talked about but I don't really care but if I were laying in a hospital bed, I would be freaked out and wouldn't want it to go on.

Agreed!!!!! I was in hospital as a patient recently and it happened to me. SOOOOOO RUDE.

Cobweb · Jan 16, 2015

We have a lot of ingrained behaviors, though, that we don't really think about. For instance, in one facility, when they banned the housekeepers and laundry people from speaking Spanish in front of patients, I banned people from speaking English in front of my deaf patients. I wish you could have seen the looks I got! It was hilarious. I explained that it was just about the same thing, but some folks just don't get it.

heron, ASN, RN · Jan 16, 2015

And some folks get it and don't agree. The issue of language in the workplace is a tricky one.

Housekeepers and laundry workers are not direct caregivers. CNAs and nurses are ... And it's not our job to raise the cultural consciousness of our patients.

Having an unrelated personal conversation with a co-worker while providing care is unacceptable no matter what language it's in. When the language is incomprehensible to that patient, it often causes unnecessary anxiety and distrust - also unacceptable. When the caregivers really are talking about the patient - and it does happen - that's the most unacceptable of all.

Native English-speaking Americans are notoriously lazy and self-centered, linguistically speaking. That some bilingual people occasionally take advantage of this to have a little fun is a reality. They also have a perfect right to use language to exclude me from conversations that are none of my business ... By not at the bedside or in the nurses' station.