Last week my dad was punched in the face and given a bloody nose while going for a walk in Cambridge, Mass. He has a Grade IV Glioblastoma and is in the ICU now. We are hoping to take him home on hospice tomorrow so he can have Thanksgiving at home.
He's an amazing man who meditates and knows how to listen thoughtfully. During this last part of his illness, he lost half his visual field. He's on steroids to reduce the inflammation. The side effect of the steroids is that he gets restless. His only solace is going for long walks. But he's a proud man and will not carry a blind person's white cane. I suggested it to him last month, not because I thought he was disabled, but so the general public might be a little more careful around him. He refused.
Last week he was walking as usual, when he got a little disoriented. This happens; it's not just being completely blind on the left side, but difficulty tracking movement. When he sees people or things coming toward him, he stops until they pass him. This time he stopped in front of a black teenager. I think the kid misinterpreted why this frail, thin man stopped in front of him. He reacted by punching my dad in the nose. My dad got his bearings and made his way home covered in blood (I think he was only a block or two away).
I implore you, please think first. If you see someone who is "off", take a moment before reacting. Perhaps they are just trying to get their bearings. Not every disability is immediately recognizable.
Specializes in Adult and Pediatric Vascular Access, Paramedic.
I am so sorry this happened to your dad! We are living in a tough time now, especially with the goings on in Furgison (sp).
I can only hope that you can identify that teenager and yes, I think criminal charges should be pressed, but not only that, but to educate him on what he did!
I hope, despite what you guys are going through, you have an enjoyable Thanksgiving with your dad.
I hate to say this, but your dad's pride caused this in part. Let's be totally honest, a young black kid who sees an older white man just stop in front of him for no reason might feel threatened. He was not justified in punching your father, but your father refused to communicate in any way his disability, which might have made someone think twice. The kid who punched him had no idea he was a cancer patient.
PS if your father is that disabled, WHY was he walking alone?!
Blaming the victim is a terrible terrible thing. Her father did not cause it. He was enjoying a walk. Even if the kid felt threatened-that is no justification for him to punch an elderly man. And no he might not have known he was a cancer patient but he did know he was an elderly man that he could have just avoided and kept on walking. The OP is grieving for her father. The least you could do was tell her you were sorry for her soon to be loss instead of being a total insensitive being.
And for your last part-are you able to control every single thing your parents do??
I hate to say it (there's a lot of this going around) but why did you feel it germane to this discussion to include the skin color of the jerk kid who punched your dad in Our Fair City? Jerks are jerks.
Ever heard of compassion? OP is experiencing something extremely devastating right now. Also why criticize her for presenting the facts of the story. She didn't call him a name or anything. She simply stated a fact. No need to jump down her throat.
Ever heard of compassion? OP is experiencing something extremely devastating right now. Also why criticize her for presenting the facts of the story. She didn't call him a name or anything. She simply stated a fact. No need to jump down her throat.
She presented a fact that in all reality had about zero to do with the context of the story expect to possibly insinuate that the antagonist's race played a part in his agressive demeanor.
When disparaging an individual do you often use race as a descriptor to provide context?
I agree though, maybe not the best time to jump on the OP.
So you are saying that disabled people should not be allowed to walk outside alone? He is not totally blind, he can see out of one side.
He brought this attack on himself because he was threatening? He's a 125lb Jewish man. If Woody Allen stopped on a street in front of you, would you think that he was threatening you? It sounds like you are trying to blame the victim.
Why do you need to home in on the black or Jew factor?
You are coming across as inflammatory and being provocative.
As a fellow Jew, I am asking to think about how you are presenting this.
I am sorry your dad was hurt that was terrible to happen.
Rua61 I'm so sorry. I'm not trying to be inflammatory. I was trying to describe a situation. Without the use of pictures, one uses descriptive words. If it was a short person versus a large person, I would have used those words. I was merely trying to paint the picture of what happened.
It's so sad that this turned into a weird racial thing.
My focus was meant to be in the fact that my dear father is dying. Dealing with a glioblastoma, multiple pulmonary embolisms, confusion, and DVTs in his legs is hard. I was hurting because this frail person that I love was attacked.
I really meant this discussion to be about how hard it is to protect people when you are far away and they have their own ideas (like taking endless walks).
I'm sorry for offending people. I thought bringing this discussion up in a nursing forum, we would talking about how do you care for someone who is dying but trying to live.
I'm hurting and sad. I'm sorry I didn't get my words right.
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
I'm sorry your father went through that. We are all individuals & will do as we please. You should reconsidering pressing charges. I don't care what age or color that kid was, he shouldn't have punched your father in the face. No one should ever resort to violence (what we're seeing in Ferguson now).
Rua61 I'm so sorry. I'm not trying to be inflammatory. I was trying to describe a situation. Without the use of pictures, one uses descriptive words. If it was a short person versus a large person, I would have used those words. I was merely trying to paint the picture of what happened.
It's so sad that this turned into a weird racial thing.
My focus was meant to be in the fact that my dear father is dying. Dealing with a glioblastoma, multiple pulmonary embolisms, confusion, and DVTs in his legs is hard. I was hurting because this frail person that I love was attacked.
I really meant this discussion to be about how hard it is to protect people when you are far away and they have their own ideas (like taking endless walks).
I'm sorry for offending people. I thought bringing this discussion up in a nursing forum, we would talking about how do you care for someone who is dying but trying to live.
I'm hurting and sad. I'm sorry I didn't get my words right.
My 13 year old son and I were reading this together and frankly he and I are shocked that people would criticize you for sharing here.
What happened to your father is simply wrong.
My son just said "There should be a light that clicks on in someone's head that says "This is wrong".
(edited to add - I remembered recent cases in the news of people being "sucker-punched" as the new sport by the way . . . . .appalling. Not saying this was the case here but I cannot understand hitting a very small man who stops on the street. )
You touched our hearts tonight and your family will be in our prayers.
Here.I.Stand, BSN, RN
5,047 Posts
I'm sorry this happened to your dad, and I'm very sorry that he's so sick, and I pray that you all have a blessed Thanksgiving together.