Where is the caring and advocacy for ME when I really need it????

[LoveActually]

My sister died unexpectedly yesterday. I am flying a red eye home tonight. I am so hysterical & I HATE flying. Like hate it to the point where I have diarrhea, throw up, feel like I'm going to pass out. I sweat the whole flight. Nevermind the fact that I just mentioned MY SISTER DIED, and I am alternating between being numb, and hurting beyond belief right now

So I call my the doctor on call at my office. I tell the answering service my problem in a nutshell. I tell them my sister just died, I have to fly tonight, and I would like a few xanax. The ***** at the answering services goes, "yeah he's not going to do that for you." I say, "why don't you let ME speak with the doctor?" So...the answering service calls back, NOT the doctor and says, "So and so can help you out on Monday." Monday?! I just told you my sister died, I have to fly and I need xanax!!! I was asking for a couple - not 60!!!! And how passive-aggressive that the god damn doctor doesn't call back himself. I am SO done with that office.

So I've only lived in the city I've lived for a few months, so I call my old doctor, who doesn't even know I moved, b/c I never transferred records etc. I saw her in Spring of 2009. She is amazing and miss her so much. Unfortunately she is not on call, and I get one of her associates. I calmly try to tell him the situation and what I need. He asks how I know what xanax is. I tell him I'm a nurse, and I've taken it to fly before. He asks me what airline I'm flying, what time I'm leaving. I tell him I'm flying US Airways and flying red eye. He the proceeds to tell me that he can't do that over the phone, it's a dangerous med, and I need to find another way to calm myself down. I stop him and say, "That's fine if you won't prescribe it for me." He keeps talking to me like I am a drug seeker, and I say, "LOOK. I APPRECIATE YOUR CALL BACK I JUST SAID I UNDERSTAND. HAVE A GREAT NEW YEAR!" and hung up on him. He just wanted to hear himself talk!

I'm always there for my patients... Where's help when I need it? Are we the only ones that care?

[canoehead, BSN, RN]

If you haven't left yet, 50mg of benadryl is a wonderful thing.

And if you can find time to see a doc face to face while you are home they may find it harder to write you off as a drugseeker. At least the trip back home would be better.

Big hug, and keep breathing.

[P_RN, ADN, RN]

OH that is so sad. You have my sincerest condolences. I have found respite in the antihistamines when ativan etc is not available. My pulmonologist routinely prescribes benadryl for folks who are apprehensive for one reason or another before a stressful test..

People who work answering services are sometimes overbearing and sometimes very helpful. You unfortunately got the former. I have other things to say about your doctors, you probably get my drift. It would seem the partner of your former doc would at least offer to call her and relay what the situation was. But then this is not a perfect world.

A very compassionate hug to my fellow Nurse who is seeing the dark side of our profession. Love to you and your family.

[madwife2002, BSN, RN]

I am so sorry for your loss it happened to me a few years ago and I had to travel from the Uk to Canada.

I unfortunatly used achohol as my crutch at the airport and on my way to Canada.

Didnt know about benedyrl in those days

[leslie :-D]

such a devastating loss... i am so very sorry, loveactually.

and the docs behaviors were unacceptable!

they could have tried working with you...

even suggesting diphenhydramine or doxylamine (another antihistamine), which really do have superior sedating effects.

i pray for your strength and well-being.

and for whatever it's worth, we're here for you.:icon_hug:

(((gentle hugs, honey)))

leslie

[GadgetRN71, ASN, RN]

OP, I'm sorry about your loss and I'm sorry that your physician and/or the office was being so pig-headed.

I had to go for a root canal last year and was freaking out..my dentist wrote me a prescription for 2 Ativans and it helped tremendously..and I didn't end up an addict either. You're not going to make someone an addict by giving them a couple of Xanax or ativan..and any true addict wouldn't be caught dead asking for only a couple. Back in the day, I was a pharmacy tech and the druggies always insisted on at least 90, many would try to change the number that the doctor wrote on the prescription.

Like someone else said, you could try a couple Benedryl. You and your familiy are in my prayers.

[sunnycalifRN]

I am so sorry for your loss, loveactually. And, the treatment you received from the answering service and your doctor's office is unbelievable! I think that after you return home, you should write them a letter and let them know how they have hurt you and what you think of their behavior. Take care.

[ROLO]

I am sorry about this situation (sister's death, flying, lack of sympathy and/or xanax...). I'm with the "go the ER" group. If you've already made the flight, you still might need something to help you relax... I am thinking you're flying back, so you'll need something especially for that.

I work in the ER. We pass out xanax & pain meds like candy...but, of course, if I REALLY needed them, I, like you, probably could not get them.

I swear, people are wild... I am so thankful when I can run into an angel!

[jennylouwho]

My sister hates to fly (but loves to travel) and does well by drinking a glass or two of wine in the airport bar.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[HonestRN]

Sorry for your loss and even sorrier for your experience with the doctors. Have you ever tried Valerian Root? It's a well known, safe over-the-counter sedative very similar to benzos.

Hugs to you

[RhiaRN75, RN]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

To be treated in such a manner is really inexcuseable. The caring and advocacy wasn't there when you needed it, and I'm sorry for that as well.

I second the others who suggested you go to the ER/urgent care. As an ER nurse I would advocate for you- I don't know many who wouldn't. I've even seen the docs prescribe something for distraught family members when a loved one dies unexpectedly. That's not abuse or enabling- it's compassion and understanding.

Dramamine, benadryl, or vistaril will only go so far. You don't need to be sedated- you just need to take the edge off so you can cope. Isn't that what anti-anxiety meds are for?

I just don't know what to say- what kind of solace can a stranger give over the internet? You'll be in my thoughts, and I sincerely hope you find the inner peace you need right now. I can only promise to be more understanding and compassionate towards someone dealing with such a loss than your doctors have been towards you.

Bless you!

[Little Panda RN, ASN, RN]

I am so sorry for you loss. Please accept my condolences. Sending many hugs your way!!!

[JenniferSews]

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry for your loss. I wish you had gotten more understanding from your doctors today. I hope you make it through your flight and being with your family again gives you some comfort.