When Staff members don't get along!

Ruby Vee, BSN · Dec 26, 2007

i am in nursing school and already i have suffered from nurses eating their young. a few months ago on my first clinical assignment, i had a patient who was suffering from compartment syndrome. the nursing coordinator for the floor came in along with the patient's nurse to try to help the patient. the nursing coordinator told me to go get some ice for the cast. the kitchen was being remodeled so there was a cooler full of ice in the supply room and the cooler was open. the ice had formed a large hard block so i had to break the ice. there was a ceramic cup beside the cooler so i took it and broke off a few pieces of ice to fill the ice bag. come to find out the patient needed the cast removed but i got the ice as i was instructed. so i went back into the nursing student lounge which was right next to the nurses' station. next thing i know i hear all of this hollering "who used my cup????" i came out and the nursing coordinator was in the middle of the nurses station surrounded by all of these nurses and she was shouting. so i fessed up to it. she looks at me and screams "you used my cup, who told you to use my cup??? " i said i didn't see a name on it i needed to get ice for my patient. still screaming she said "well you don't do that oh great now we"re gonna need new ice because somebody contaminated it, you need to think next time" i was so embarrassed i just walked away.
i was considering working on this floor but i would not be able to put up with that.

i'm sorry that you had a negative experience. the fact that you had one negative experience while in nursing school does not, however, mean that nurses eat their young. it means that you had a negative experience while in nursing school.

EmmaG, RN · Dec 26, 2007

I am in nursing school and already I have suffered from nurses eating their young. A few months ago on my first clinical assignment, I had a patient who was suffering from compartment syndrome. The nursing coordinator for the floor came in along with the patient's nurse to try to help the patient. The nursing coordinator told me to go get some ice for the cast. The kitchen was being remodeled so there was a cooler full of ice in the supply room and the cooler was open. The ice had formed a large hard block so I had to break the ice. There was a ceramic cup beside the cooler so I took it and broke off a few pieces of ice to fill the ice bag. Come to find out the patient needed the cast removed but I got the ice as I was instructed. So I went back into the nursing student lounge which was right next to the nurses' station. Next thing I know I hear all of this hollering "WHO USED MY CUP????" I came out and the nursing coordinator was in the middle of the nurses station surrounded by all of these nurses and she was shouting. So I fessed up to it. She looks at me and screams "YOU USED MY CUP, WHO TOLD YOU TO USE MY CUP??? " I said I didn't see a name on it I needed to get ice for my patient. Still screaming she said "WELL YOU DON'T DO THAT OH GREAT NOW WE"RE GONNA NEED NEW ICE BECAUSE SOMEBODY CONTAMINATED IT, YOU NEED TO THINK NEXT TIME" I was so embarrassed I just walked away.
I was considering working on this floor but I would not be able to put up with that.

Good. And if offered a position on that unit, tell them why. But this isn't an example of 'nurses eating their young', it's an example of one person acting like a complete ass.

SAP2008 · Dec 26, 2007

I've seen this first-hand on the unit that I work on as a tech. There's so much gossiping, drama, and backstabbing that it feels like high school. There was one nurse that clearly no one liked and some of the other nurses made a point to let her know. It got so bad on days that she switched to nights. Apparently it wasn't any better there and she ended up quitting. It was really sad in my opinion because she told me she liked her job but people were so mean to her. One thing I will come away with from this job is to never participate in this childish behavior when I graduate from nursing school because I've seen how miserable it can make a person.

rn undisclosed name · Dec 26, 2007

I am currently involved in a situation. A patient told me that a transporter is saying negative things about me to him. I have never said anything mean or done anything mean to this transporter. I have always been pretty sure she never liked me from day one (but I know not everyone is going to like me and I don't lose sleep over it). I went to my manager but didn't think anything would actually be done. Well the situation is escalated to the point I have spoken with her boss, my manager, and my director. So far nothing has been done they're trying to make sure everything is documented appropriately before any action is taken. Other people in the hospital are afraid of this particular person and they know it. This person has always made negative comments about the nurses, etc. At first I thought she was just upset because they wouldn't provide any lifting help to get patients on a stretcher so I went out of my way to help her when she needed lifting help. One day she actually said I'm one of the better ones (because I did help her more than others). She is the only transporter that complains about the nurses. They have had problems with this person multiple times. I have never been involved in any disputes in the 1 1/2 years I've worked there and I think that speaks for itself but it's still hard to be in this situation. My last encounter with her was on Monday and she is refusing to even say anything to me and is making comments to my co-workers (not sure if she is also saying things to the patients). I did call my manager today about it and am not sure if they think I am being nitpicky about the whole situation or not but I think a patient could be put at risk the way the situation is. I have applied to some places to get out of that situation. I think it's terrible this goes on.

Miss Mab · Dec 26, 2007

lateral violence or bullying does occur and there are many innocent victims.

since it appears that you actually agree with my original posting i am unclear why you chose to quote me earlier in the thread?

every dirty look isn't some conspiracy obviously. sometimes people are just brats. it's also very obvious that many people don't assert themselves very well. bullying does occur in many other career fields also. i'm not proposing that this is same vast conspiracy of meanies.

to my op, i just simply can't fathom how anyone can say----and not you since we share the same belief actually---that 'it', whatever we choose to call it, does not exist at all. as if saying it over and over again indignantly and insistently somehow makes it true.

because there are an astounding number of folks on this board and in real life that do just that.

again, just my opinion, but i think it's odd and makes those people seem foolish . or at least strongly self centered w/a terribly myopic view.

hmmm...never been bit myself but certainly able to call it when i see it.

weird.

gt4everpn, BSN, RN · May 7, 2009

do you guys that horizontal violence is more prevalent among new grads and experienced nurses?

**canoehead, BSN, RN** · May 7, 2009

I don't. I think it's more new people vrs old guard, whether the new guy is experienced or not. I've left two jobs because of coworkers being asses. I'd get seemingly constructive criticism every day to the point where I was wondering if I was a safe nurse. I'd second guess every decision. People would feel right at home yelling in the middle of the nurses' station to do something their way for the patient I was assigned to.

Both times I quit, and wondered if I was really a good nurse, or if I had the memory and stamina to manage (I was 35 for pete's sake). Then on my new job I'd shine, have a great group and do well with the patients. After two experiences like that I'm right up front on new interviews. I need a supportive and friendly group or it's just not going to work out. They can be perfectionists, or it can be a brand new specialty, and I'll do fine, but they need to help me, not just look for flaws.

If I had known to do that right when I started nursing I could have saved myself a lot of heartache. I recommend that approach to ALL the new grads out there.

zuzi · May 7, 2009

If you would like to know...I was there...and now after couple of years in US and working in different places I could tell you the true... each nursing place... has at one point a lateral violence area.

The first hitten by lateral violence are new grads and new hired nurses. Reasons? Because the new ones come with more or less experience but with the wish to prove them self and to the other that are good nurses in a correct way. The other side are the "soo sofisticated ones" who know how to cut corners they know the difference beetwen to do one and to tell another, and them cover them self in an acceptable or unaccptable way like just experimented nurses after couple of years of experience can do it.

So.... imagine the situation that a new one come and will tell to a "sofisticated one" full of fake smilling what he/she learnt in the nursing school in another way that she/he just did it.... my poor yellow chich will be hated for life... and rumors start to be spreaded around ( never forget sofisticated has ALWAYS network, loool). So this is the way how a lateral violence start to grow... "YOU DON"T TEACH ME HOW TO DO THINKS" and even if is not spoken word if you look in them eyes you will see, that you just start to play with fire. All the discussion will stpo when you are around, nonverbal communication take place to verbal one.

Soon you will be eat alive... they are toghter you are alone....

Zuzi advice (Zuzi can't fallow her own advice so ALWAYS is in trouble, lol), don't comment, don't argue, don't ask, don't tell your opinion, always is not a good one, THEY KNOW always the good path, let "sofisticated ones" to fulfill of them self, do like you don't seen, listen like you don't hear, talk like you are mute, say just "yes Sir, Yes mom, Ok, yes". You are new grad you need money..... please don't talk for first 2-3 years....you need good references..... you need to learn what is good or what is bad.... KEEP YOUR MOUTH CLOSED and open your eyes and be selective! If not they will eat you ALIVE, because they know an how, and when, and you are not the first one that was happen it........as long they are there, as much they know how to eat you,lol, as long they are in the same position , as much they know the short paths to STILL be on the same position and you are not the first "incomode one", throwing out.

You don't want to be there is a pain...belive me...and is hard to be repaired when all the place is against you... KEEP your mouth closed that is all that you need to do it! And teach me how to do it also, loooool!

I am not a good exemple...look at me... you don't want to have my life, I hate my life, ....but if you want to have a job you need to learn to close your eyes for too many dirty staff and to not hear many ugly thinks and to belive Zuzi that one hand wash another hand and both of them wash the face or open the door to throwing you out...is your choice...a very very very sad Zuzi...always a life discover. You american nurses say "what is happend in Vegas stay in Vegas".... is hard hhuh?

Be smart be good never forget that you are nurses FOR PATIENTS!

gt4everpn, BSN, RN · May 13, 2009

it also possible that nm can play favorites with certain staff members... i've seen this before too!

coffee4metech · May 13, 2009

Well I have been in this situation at my clinical portion of my nurse assistant class , students that I had befriended me suddenly turned against me . I couldn't understand why but I had realized why they turned against me I had become pregnant for the second time . I was totally shocked and severly sick they found out I had terminated the pregnancy due to the fact I had 5 month at that time . Someone leaked the info to EVERYBODY I was deeply hurt and I have never been the same since . My clinical instructor had voiced that I could not miss clinical on the account of being temp. hospitalized for the procedure I had to beg and cry to beable to recover at home for just one day . This to me is the worst abuse and bullying I have experienced I only confided in my closes friends and they even turned against me.

gt4everpn, BSN, RN · Jul 10, 2009

I also think that horizontal violence can be reduced or eliminated if the unit has a good NM, if the NM doesn't step in and diffuse a situation and explain what type of behavior will not be tolerated, horizontal violence probably won't be so prevalent.

caliotter3 · Jul 10, 2009

it also possible that nm can play favorites with certain staff members... i've seen this before too!

have seen this often enough to consider it to be the norm rather than the exception. no subtlety at all.