What's the reason for a RN to be snippy to a new post op pt. ?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

OK. I don't want to fluff any feathers. I'm simply trying to get an opinion to experienced nurses and try to see this from the nurses point of view. I'm a nursing student so my POV is still very different from that of a seasoned Nurse and I understand this fact.

My mother had surgery today. She was scheduled to have a Hysterectomy and a Tummy Tuck. Her Hematocrit was too low (25) to do the tummy tuck so she just had the hysterectomy and will do a tummy tuck in roughly 6 weeks when she has healed and hopefully brought her iron back up. She has lost tons of weight and kept it off through diet and exercise alone. She quit smoking after 20+ years as well. Needless to say, this was a big day full of ups and downs for her and the whole family. (myself, dad, sister and brother)

Once she got to her room 2 hours post op she was doing as well as can be expected. She was of course in and out of it but pretty much knew what was going on. My dad, sister and I were there in the room. My sister had planned on spending the night with her and helping her with anything she needed. I was helping her with positioning, drinking fluids, answering any questions she or my dad had. My family has always believed that family involvement is very helpful to the nurses and we have always wanted to do as much as we could knowing that nurses are extremely busy and their time is precious. That all being said. My mother's nurse was less than enthusiastic that my mom would get talkative with her, my mom simply does this out of nervousness (esp with people she just met). I told the nurse I was a student and just about to graduate. I could make sure she did her incentive spirometer, kept and eye on her O2 sat, and let her know if we needed anything. Well, there were only 2 chairs in the room. We were all fine with one of us standing and being busy or just simply standing looking out the window during quiet times. My mother however was a typical mother and insisted that there was a third chair in the room. I asked the CNA, my sister also asked the CNA. We were told no problem and she would bring one back when she found one. Two hours pass and my sister and dad go to eat. When they come back my mom, once again in and out of a morphine nap, insisted there be a third chair. When the nurse came to the room my mom asked for a third chair very sweetly with a raspy dry voice. The nurse, in a not so nice tone said she'd try to find one. Moments later, she came back and said "Well here you go but just so you know now the room next to you has to be without a chair because of you. I hope you're happy".

Of course her tone didn't sit well with my mom, dad, or sister. I brushed it off and said she probably has a big workload and is tired. Then a couple hours later my mom was starting to have more pain that she thought she should. I know that the nurse needs to hear from the pt. herself the description of the pain so we called the nurse. Well, she was less than happy to have to discuss this with my mom and simply just said "well I gave you Toradol so any pain you have you just have to deal with"

To me, this is very uncompassionate care. I understand that nurses see a ton of different people, pt's as well as their families. But for my family, this wasn't a daily thing. This was a stressful and difficult day physically and emotionally. My mom and dad don't do this everyday, they paid a lot of money via insurance as well as out of pocket. Of course my mom was upset and didnt' feel comfortable with her nurse. I really wanted to go speak to the charge Nurse about it but I didn't, I left it alone.

Is my family wrong in feeling that this was very unprofessional as well as uncompassionate or as a nurse is everyone supposed to just bow down and be glad you even came to their room and answered the call?

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

i think the op is aware that she's not an experienced nurse and, from what she said, she is interested in hearing how experienced nurses would approach the situation, both as nurses and as family members or patients. after a year of experience, sure, she might view this situation quite differently. but she's dealing with her feelings now and trying to get a handle on the situation as it occurs. most of us have 20/20 hindsight and, with professional and life experience, we see things from a different perspective after they occurred. i get the impression the op is trying to gain some insight from experienced nurses to help her deal with her feelings now, not to determine how she will feel in the future.

i think the op started the thread looking for validation, and when she didn't get that she got defensive. she started the thread asking for input from experienced nurses, but it seems that the only input she's interested in is input that agrees with her. i really don't think she's interested in how experienced nurses would approach the situation unless they agree with her.

yes, 20/20 hindsight is a factor -- but i no longer believe that the op is trying to gain any insight. i did believe that at first and tried to help. don't believe it anymore.

Specializes in Telemetry & Obs.

Let's have a raise of hands here: how many nurses have seen their patients nervous, writhing in pain, upset, etc UNTIL the family members go home?! Nerves begat nerves!

Specializes in ED.

If it were me...I would have asked the patient next door politely if this patient's family could borrow the chair. I also may have asked your family for one or two family members to go home, since three family members in a semiprivate room is a bit excessive and not only leads to the patient in question to lose rest but also the patient across the curtain to lose rest. It would have been more ideal for everyone involved including your mother to probably have just one person looking out for her, even through your intentions are loving and you all want the best for her.

If her only medication was toradol, and she was not on a morphine drip, then perhaps the nurse could have called the dr. for more pain meds. Or perhaps the nurse thought she was still too sedated to give more pain meds to her.

I do agree with those who posted above, there could have been less rudness. Just my :twocents:

Specializes in Med-Surg, LTC, Rehab, HH.
You know what? We shouldn't have to "calm" down any family member because they are irate that they didn't get their chair or cuppa coffee. We shouldn't HAVE to say "Oh, I'm so sorry about the delay, my hands were in another patient's chest".

I know. We shouldn't have to.

Maybe there should be a big sign in each room stating "Visitors: no requests - for anything. Please." That might help.LOL It would make a nice tshirt to wear to work, in the cafeteria, waiting rooms, elevator.LOL before changing into scrubs or uniforms.

Specializes in CTICU.
If you went to a restaurant you want the server to be nice and hospitable...you don't care if they had a bad day, if they have a crapload of tables and side work, if they worked a double and have class the next morning. If they are rude and don't live up to our expectations we don't tip well or complain to the manager. It's no different. It's a service minded job. People expect a certain level of communication from all professions.

I was with you until you said this. Nursing is not waitressing. I didn't go into nursing to get tips, or be in a service industry. I went into nursing because I'm interested in health and science. If I'm not as sunny a personality as Maggie next door, but I am competent and professional, then that's all I need to do.

Having said that - why didn't you just speak up? My mum was recently in hospital for a few procedures after a cancer diagnosis, and the nurses were TERRIBLE! They didn't bring analgesia when due, answer the call-bell, they didn't help her shower, they didn't change the bed at all for 2 days so I finally did it myself... etc. One evening I literally hadn't seen a nurse all afternoon. Mum was in terrible pain and sats were down because she was not able to deep breathe without significant pain. Pain meds were an hour overdue. I rang the bell, eventually the nurse answered and said "I haven't done the 8 oclock meds yet". I said "Ok, but this was due at 7, so if she could have it I'd appreciate it". She then sighed and huffed and said "Well, I was going to start at the other end of the hall for meds, but I guess I'll start here and you'll have to forgive me if I'm walking backwards since I have to do things out of order".

I was SO mad that she was so nasty when mum hadn't asked for anything...I took her outside and said listen, I don't know if you're having a bad day, but I don't need your attitude. We have not been demanding, in fact I haven't seen you all day, so I'd appreciate if you could act professionally and drop the attitude". She did.

I must say, nurses that I saw were not compassionate or even human to mum at times. One night, she needed a pan. She had a chest tube and couldn't get out of bed, so she pressed the call bell. Noone came. About 2 hrs later, the night nurse came in and mum said "oh thank goodness, i'm dying to use a pan". The nurse said "see this? This is a pacemaker battery. THIS would mean you were dying" or something to that effect. I wrote a formal complaint on that one.

It is easy to forget that what is happening to your patients is probably the worst time of their life, it's not just another day to them. When you've lost sight of that, it's time to take a break.

Specializes in Med-Surg, LTC, Rehab, HH.

Again, if the PATIENT is not getting proper care, dont ignore it.

Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.
Again, if the PATIENT is not getting proper care, dont ignore it.

Agreed, very much so. I'd like to add that wants and needs are two different things, and that patients not only have rights, but responsibilities as well.

Specializes in OR.

I guess the bottom line is if your not a NURSE keep your mouth shut ... why is it such a big deal to ask for a chair I mean it takes a few seconds to do . I know I will get fried for saying this but thats okay.

Specializes in School Nursing.
I've been a nurse for over a year now and still agree with the OP.

I don't understand how you think she was wrong and her nurse

was not in the wrong.

Sounds like another burn out to me.

It's hard to understand some of the posts I'm reading here. :(

Sad for my profession at times.

I don't think you read my posts. In my first post, I stated the possible reasons why the extra chair may not have been a good idea, and I said that the nurse should have phrased things differently. I also stated there was no excuse for not addressing pain. My quote above was in reference to the OP saying this...

"5. If so many nurses are so unhappy taking care of pts and families, workload, not enough pay, schedules, dealing with other nurses. Why not find another job in another profession. Every job/profession sucks period. Every job has crappy schedule, crappy customers, crappy bosses, get in the way of our own personal lives. That's just how it is be it a Nurse, Pharmacist, Doctor, Waitress, Mailman, whatever. Working to live sucks. I feel I have to look deeper at it than just a job...it's an extremely important job and it demands my respect if I'm going to want others to respect me."

To me her quote above shows a great deal of immaturity and lack of understanding about the profession.

Specializes in School Nursing.
If it were me...I would have asked the patient next door politely if this patient's family could borrow the chair.

Yikes! What about infection control!?! Who knows what the patient in the next room has (that hasn't been diagnosed yet), or for that matter what the visitors have!

Specializes in MS, OB, PEDI, VNA, TELEM.
1) Experienced nurses are giving you their point of view, which you say you asked for. It's really bad form to argue back about why they are wrong.

2) That question at the end wasn't a real question, was it? You already know how you feel.

Overall, I find your post disingenuous. I don't think you really wanted feedback so much as validation. If things happened exactly as you described, then yes, that nurse does sound rude. However, I agree with a previous post that most likely there is your side, the nurse's side, and what actually happened. There is no way anyone can tell from an internet forum posting what really happened in that room.

As far as the pain med, I would have taken the time to educate your Mom on how to use the PCA, explained to her that she should push the button frequently to get the level of pain med in her blood stream up, and to not wait for the pain to get bad before pressing the button again, but instead, to press it every time she feels the pain creeping back up. I would have explained that waiting too long results in increased pain levels that are harder to overcome, and that frequent button pressing to keep the level of drug in the blood stream is far more effective. I would have explained that she cannot overdose; that the machine is set to only deliver a specific amount of drug, and that we are monitoring her status closely.

As far as the chair, that would have been WAYYYYYY down on my priority list. I would have simply told her that chairs are in high demand, as every patient has family members at the bedside and each room only gets two. I would make no promises and make it clear that a chair may not happen, but I would certainly snag one for her if I just happened to see an unclaimed one.

on our unit we keep extra folding chairs in the closets for easy access.

Specializes in MS, OB, PEDI, VNA, TELEM.
Let's have a raise of hands here: how many nurses have seen their patients nervous, writhing in pain, upset, etc UNTIL the family members go home?! Nerves begat nerves!

Amen to THAT!

+ Add a Comment