What's the reason for a RN to be snippy to a new post op pt. ?

Nurses General Nursing

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OK. I don't want to fluff any feathers. I'm simply trying to get an opinion to experienced nurses and try to see this from the nurses point of view. I'm a nursing student so my POV is still very different from that of a seasoned Nurse and I understand this fact.

My mother had surgery today. She was scheduled to have a Hysterectomy and a Tummy Tuck. Her Hematocrit was too low (25) to do the tummy tuck so she just had the hysterectomy and will do a tummy tuck in roughly 6 weeks when she has healed and hopefully brought her iron back up. She has lost tons of weight and kept it off through diet and exercise alone. She quit smoking after 20+ years as well. Needless to say, this was a big day full of ups and downs for her and the whole family. (myself, dad, sister and brother)

Once she got to her room 2 hours post op she was doing as well as can be expected. She was of course in and out of it but pretty much knew what was going on. My dad, sister and I were there in the room. My sister had planned on spending the night with her and helping her with anything she needed. I was helping her with positioning, drinking fluids, answering any questions she or my dad had. My family has always believed that family involvement is very helpful to the nurses and we have always wanted to do as much as we could knowing that nurses are extremely busy and their time is precious. That all being said. My mother's nurse was less than enthusiastic that my mom would get talkative with her, my mom simply does this out of nervousness (esp with people she just met). I told the nurse I was a student and just about to graduate. I could make sure she did her incentive spirometer, kept and eye on her O2 sat, and let her know if we needed anything. Well, there were only 2 chairs in the room. We were all fine with one of us standing and being busy or just simply standing looking out the window during quiet times. My mother however was a typical mother and insisted that there was a third chair in the room. I asked the CNA, my sister also asked the CNA. We were told no problem and she would bring one back when she found one. Two hours pass and my sister and dad go to eat. When they come back my mom, once again in and out of a morphine nap, insisted there be a third chair. When the nurse came to the room my mom asked for a third chair very sweetly with a raspy dry voice. The nurse, in a not so nice tone said she'd try to find one. Moments later, she came back and said "Well here you go but just so you know now the room next to you has to be without a chair because of you. I hope you're happy".

Of course her tone didn't sit well with my mom, dad, or sister. I brushed it off and said she probably has a big workload and is tired. Then a couple hours later my mom was starting to have more pain that she thought she should. I know that the nurse needs to hear from the pt. herself the description of the pain so we called the nurse. Well, she was less than happy to have to discuss this with my mom and simply just said "well I gave you Toradol so any pain you have you just have to deal with"

To me, this is very uncompassionate care. I understand that nurses see a ton of different people, pt's as well as their families. But for my family, this wasn't a daily thing. This was a stressful and difficult day physically and emotionally. My mom and dad don't do this everyday, they paid a lot of money via insurance as well as out of pocket. Of course my mom was upset and didnt' feel comfortable with her nurse. I really wanted to go speak to the charge Nurse about it but I didn't, I left it alone.

Is my family wrong in feeling that this was very unprofessional as well as uncompassionate or as a nurse is everyone supposed to just bow down and be glad you even came to their room and answered the call?

among other things i am so glad we have strict visiting 3 visitors in a patient room all day what about rest?

patients will get concered about the needs of the visitors like needing a chair.

No there is no need to be rude but chairs are no a infinte resource.

about the pain control stress = increased pain, was your mum briefed on expecting apin at my trust we aim to prevent harm but at times patient benift from being told to expect tolerable amounts of pain

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
amen to that!

patients who have an audience seem to feel compelled to put on a performance!

So she came home last night because she was doing so good. She was walking down the hall and low and behold....a room with extra furniture in it. Not damaged furniture, extra....hmm....kinda silly.

My mom didn't feel compelled to put on a show for us. There wasn't excessive family members, she wanted her husband and daughters there with her. Is that really so unreasonable? We were quiet unless she talked to us, we were out of the way and didn't even talk to the nurse unless she talked to us.

I wasn't the one that piped up and said I was a student, my mom had already said that before I got to the floor. And once again later. I think she was talkative because she was on morphine and she does that when she's nervous or going through something rough. She is used to taking care of the "pt's" not being one and is uncomfortable being one, we were her source of comfort.

Come to find out, there was a new charting system implemented last week. We found this out because another nurse was snippy to her but apologized later and explained this. Still, no reason to be snippy to a pt. It causes unneeded stress.

It sounds to me like a lot of people on here are putting up an attitude of being "high and mighty". Maybe this comes from having so much responsibility. Don't you think that other people feel this way about their job as well? This whole experience along with previous experiences similar only reiterates to me that to deserve respect means you need to give respect. It doesn't just come with a degree. That's not how most people work nowadays. Nursing is a special profession and I hope a lot of nurses understand that they aren't dealing with patients and families at their best. So when a family(including the pt) , not an overly demanding or troubling family, but a polite and respectful family are in their presence...they aren't exactly at their best. They are in an uncomfortable stressful situation. The staff that works with them should already understand this.

I know some of you see what I'm trying to explain and others just don't. I don't know if it's burn out, if you're taking the most extreme situations you've been in with families and applying it here but it's unnecessary and doesn't apply. I hate when people do that, you try to explain something and they automatically conclude the worst scenario they can think of. So not the case.

For those of you that understand what I'm talking about, thank you, you understand what it means to be a pt and what it means, as a nurse, to have control of your emotions in the situation. You understand that you, as a nurse/primary caretaker, set the tone and by being calm, comforting, and compassionate you have better cooperation from your pt and their families. The pts and their families are much more likely to listen and respect what you have to say during their stay, esp when teaching.

momofqc, the title of your thread was:

What's the reason for a RN to be snippy to a new post op pt.?

and so, i ask you, what exactly were you seeking for responses?

i just am sooo not understanding right now.

leslie

I understand the reasons everyone gave .....I just don't see the justification that it's ok. That's all.

I understand the reasons everyone gave .....I just don't see the justification that it's ok. That's all.

that is not answering the question of what type of responses were you seeking.

and i will not pressure you any further.

but perhaps it is something you may want to think about on your own time.

and then, maybe you will see that you indeed, got what you asked for.

leslie

Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.
So she came home last night because she was doing so good. She was walking down the hall and low and behold....a room with extra furniture in it. Not damaged furniture, extra....hmm....kinda silly.

Um....so? Maybe there was a discharge. Maybe it was a contact isolation room. Maybe an admit was coming. Maybe the room was set up for a dying patient who needed the furniture for their loved ones to sit in vigil with them. Who knows? Who cares? Seems like an awfully small thing to get hung up on when all is said and done.

As for the rest, it's clear to me that you didn't come here with a question or to gain understanding. You came here to preach and to get validation.

This whole thing sort of reminds me of my Mom. My Mom is extremely nonassertive. When affronted by someone, she never speaks up or sticks up for herself. Instead, she will hold it all in because she is so afraid of confrontation, but will then stew about it and complain to other people who are completely uninvolved. She gets walked on repeatedly because she is so afraid of hurting other people's feelings, but then gets angry that she's being walked on. She is far more likely to post a vent on an internet forum (if she were computer literate, that is) than to take the issue up directly with the person she is having the problem with.

The thing is, this gets very tiresome. If you don't want people to walk all over you, you need to learn how to be assertive. Assertive does not equal aggressive, and you can stand up for yourself and for your vulnerable loved ones without being confrontational or unpleasant. You'll feel much better if you do. Then you won't feel the need to get validation from a bunch of strangers who weren't even there, or to get even with that nurse vicariously by preaching at a bunch of anonymous nurses.

Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.
I understand the reasons everyone gave .....I just don't see the justification that it's ok. That's all.

Where did anyone say it's okay? I didn't see that one.

Just curious?

Is it justified if the RN is having a bad day, or is hungry, or tired, or simply doesn't like the pt or family? Is it justified if the family is annoying? If the pt is annoying?

As a nurse is your only duty clinically? Or is it holistically too?

Is it really the worst job ever? So many nurses come across like it's horrible. Does it help that I already know that people (pt.s and families) will not act their best because they aren't at their best?

What positive advice would you give about your profession to someone that knows nothing about nursing?

It's never okay. You don't know what kind of day that person was having before they met you, but you can affect their day after meeting you. Were all human, I choose to be snippy on my way home privately. I don't believe in being pissey with others, no matter how ridic they are.

Wasn't there just a long thread about this same subject?

If it's bothering you that much, if you can't let go of it, maybe you should contact

administration about it.

That would be my advice.

Never never never..take a deep breath and count to 100 or put on your poker face

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