What's the reason for a RN to be snippy to a new post op pt. ?

Nurses General Nursing

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OK. I don't want to fluff any feathers. I'm simply trying to get an opinion to experienced nurses and try to see this from the nurses point of view. I'm a nursing student so my POV is still very different from that of a seasoned Nurse and I understand this fact.

My mother had surgery today. She was scheduled to have a Hysterectomy and a Tummy Tuck. Her Hematocrit was too low (25) to do the tummy tuck so she just had the hysterectomy and will do a tummy tuck in roughly 6 weeks when she has healed and hopefully brought her iron back up. She has lost tons of weight and kept it off through diet and exercise alone. She quit smoking after 20+ years as well. Needless to say, this was a big day full of ups and downs for her and the whole family. (myself, dad, sister and brother)

Once she got to her room 2 hours post op she was doing as well as can be expected. She was of course in and out of it but pretty much knew what was going on. My dad, sister and I were there in the room. My sister had planned on spending the night with her and helping her with anything she needed. I was helping her with positioning, drinking fluids, answering any questions she or my dad had. My family has always believed that family involvement is very helpful to the nurses and we have always wanted to do as much as we could knowing that nurses are extremely busy and their time is precious. That all being said. My mother's nurse was less than enthusiastic that my mom would get talkative with her, my mom simply does this out of nervousness (esp with people she just met). I told the nurse I was a student and just about to graduate. I could make sure she did her incentive spirometer, kept and eye on her O2 sat, and let her know if we needed anything. Well, there were only 2 chairs in the room. We were all fine with one of us standing and being busy or just simply standing looking out the window during quiet times. My mother however was a typical mother and insisted that there was a third chair in the room. I asked the CNA, my sister also asked the CNA. We were told no problem and she would bring one back when she found one. Two hours pass and my sister and dad go to eat. When they come back my mom, once again in and out of a morphine nap, insisted there be a third chair. When the nurse came to the room my mom asked for a third chair very sweetly with a raspy dry voice. The nurse, in a not so nice tone said she'd try to find one. Moments later, she came back and said "Well here you go but just so you know now the room next to you has to be without a chair because of you. I hope you're happy".

Of course her tone didn't sit well with my mom, dad, or sister. I brushed it off and said she probably has a big workload and is tired. Then a couple hours later my mom was starting to have more pain that she thought she should. I know that the nurse needs to hear from the pt. herself the description of the pain so we called the nurse. Well, she was less than happy to have to discuss this with my mom and simply just said "well I gave you Toradol so any pain you have you just have to deal with"

To me, this is very uncompassionate care. I understand that nurses see a ton of different people, pt's as well as their families. But for my family, this wasn't a daily thing. This was a stressful and difficult day physically and emotionally. My mom and dad don't do this everyday, they paid a lot of money via insurance as well as out of pocket. Of course my mom was upset and didnt' feel comfortable with her nurse. I really wanted to go speak to the charge Nurse about it but I didn't, I left it alone.

Is my family wrong in feeling that this was very unprofessional as well as uncompassionate or as a nurse is everyone supposed to just bow down and be glad you even came to their room and answered the call?

hmm very few famillies enagage is pratical pat care from my experince. we even extended visting so that they could and they didn't. most famillies see that as nursing work they are there to talk and take the pt out for a coffee in the hospial at most(love when this happens better for pt ).

it could be my pt are all old, very dependent and often have formal home carers I still ahve seen how tired and drawn a pt canm be from enteraining a visitor and the enerdgy it requires. They may not have a nap or delay going to bed due to a visitor often a nice break but it depends on the number.

Specializes in Rehab, Infection, LTC.

ahhhh don't yall wish you knew as much NOW as you did when we were students?

when i go in a room and a visitor tells me "im a nursing student" i'd like to just shoot myself in the head. it would be less painful that dealing with the student nurse visitor.

If I am at the hospital for any family (esp mom and dad) members and the nurse is rude to them esp post op...better be finding some boxing gloves because its game on.

Specializes in oncology, med/surg (all kinds).

at the risk of repeating what others have said. i agree the pain issue was handled inappropriately. i am sorry about that. when i have medicated a patient with everything i had ordered and pain med is still being requested.....i have been known to be very apologetic that it takes a bit of trial and error to find the perfect combination of analgesics, (which we WILL have for you!) and the surgeon is actually here in the house--doing emergency surgery. but if you feel this can't wait, i will certainly page doctor to get an order for a little more pain med. now, if i really think the pain is being controlled totally inappropriately, i won't even use that line on the fam or patient--i'll just page the doc --surgery or not--i have to take care of my patient! but if i don't think it is that bad, i put in on them--if you need him paged out of surgery i will do it. i have been ordered to page doctors at weird times for weirder reasons, but no one has ever taken me up on that offer.

as far as the other stuff, although i am sure none of you meant any harm and were as polite and helpful as possible....but there were 2 strikes against you (all) from the nurses POV. first--the pack of you always there. it is RIGHT for you to be there, but it is tough for the nurses--we don't have time to get you an extra chair (the reason there are 2 chairs is because they really don't want more than 2 visitors) or anything else you want that is not related to the pt. immediately safety and healing. it is intimidating and throws you off to have 6 extra eyes staring at everything you do (even nice, non judgemental eyes). the second strike was making it known that you were a nursing student. i have heard people say nurses make the worst patients--i disagree--i have always found nurse family members are the worst to handle (worse than docs, oh yes). you are watching--are you critiquing, judging, trying to learn a new skill, what? you are offering to help--are you helpful or are you asking the RN to trust you with something out of your scope of experience that she will have to redo? or are you passive aggressive? offer to do A, B &C then turn around and say the nurse never came in, i had to do A B & C. i don't think you were, truly. but when there is a pack of family and one of them is a nurse, we tend to want to run away from you. we don't know how wonderful you may be.

before i was an RN (i was a young adult and just beginning to contemplate CNA) my mom was hospitalized. when i was going to be a great advocate for MY MOM--she was going to get great care dam**T, if i had anything to say about it. so when i had a question or she needed something i went to the nurse. and if the nurse was in another room, i stood at the doorway to either get her attention or wait for her to come out.

yes. i'm sorry. that was me. my head is hanging in shame and embarrassment. i didn't know how inappropriate it was. i wanted to look after my mommy! in retrospect, someone should have punched me in the nose. the point of that is you are all obviously nice people, trying to make sure mom got what she needed and as a student you wanted to be a useful asset. it is very possibly the nurse did not perceive your presence in the benign way you were there. she still sounded bitc**y. i bet you learned a lot of how you intend to handle similar situations in your future. hopefully mom is feeling better. it is hard to know when to cut the nurse some slack, which everyone deserves at times and when to say no, she's gone too far, something must be said. in the future, if a family member is luring out of another patient's room while you are working--it isn't me.

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.
if i am at the hospital for any family (esp mom and dad) members and the nurse is rude to them esp post op...better be finding some boxing gloves because its game on.

you must be a nursing student.

Specializes in Cardiac Telemetry, ED.
If I am at the hospital for any family (esp mom and dad) members and the nurse is rude to them esp post op...better be finding some boxing gloves because its game on.

Any such threat from a family member will result in an invitation to leave, and if said invitation is declined, then security will gladly escort you out the door.

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