What do you think about people calling you "honey"?

[Hellllllo Nurse]

I am in my forties, but a lot of people (such as waitresses, sales clerks, cashiers) call me "honey" and "sweetheart" all the time. I think this is fine, when the person is older than me, but I get annoyed when someone who is young enough to be my daughter calls me "honey." Males never call me by these names (with the exception of my husband!)

Occasionally, a subordinate at work will call me "honey. " I tell them immediately not to refer to me that way. But when a waitress does it, I let it go. I'd like to ask them not to, however.

I have only rarely referred to anyone as "sweetheart," and when I have, it's been a child, or a pt in a very vulnerable, hurt state, who is seeking reassurance and protection.

What's your opinion on this?

[Diahni]

I think it's annoying. My name is Erica, not honey, or sweetie, or whatever. And I find it demeaning when I hear other nurses calling patients honey, or sweetie. They also have names, use them, it shows respect.

Right! And when did "it sucks" become something a kid could say without the mother getting out the soap? Today, the kid probably learned it from her. As for "you guys," I am amazed at the formal situations in which I've heard someone say this. Standard speech is going down the toilet with good manners, it seems. (I even heard a priest say he wasn't going to "bs" the congregation in a sermon!)

Diahni

[Euskadi1946]

Being called 'HONEY" doesn't bother me in the least since I've been called the alternative on several occasions. There are more extremely important matters to worry about than being called "HONEY".

[leslie :-D]

most of the nursing assistants, call me "darling".

i find myself addressing them as "sweetie".

one time, i went to introduce a nursing assistant to a doctor, and realized i had forgotten her name.

it is all contextual.

if i don't care for someone, i would never think to use endearments.

i use sugar on those i really, really like.

leslie

[ERnewbieRN, BSN, RN]

i really don't mind being "honey'd" or "sweetie'd," i actually kind of like it! i'm only 22 so it sits ok with me since most of my patients are quite a bit older than i am, and i also view it as a term of endearment rather than a diminutive term. unless they're saying it with an attitude...

i refrain from calling people by those names if they're older than me, unless they are extremely distraught and i'm comforting them, or if they're a pediatric patient.

i'd much prefer being called "honey" or "sweetie" than "nurse"... something about that just really irks me.

oh, and i'm so guilty of the "you guys" thing... sorry!! we don't say "ya'll" up here so it's hard to find a term that encompasses a group of people, saying "you" to a group of 5 people just doesn't seem right

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

I am in my forties, but a lot of people (such as waitresses, sales clerks, cashiers) call me "honey" and "sweetheart" all the time. I think this is fine, when the person is older than me, but I get annoyed when someone who is young enough to be my daughter calls me "honey." Males never call me by these names (with the exception of my husband!)

Occasionally, a subordinate at work will call me "honey. " I tell them immediately not to refer to me that way. But when a waitress does it, I let it go. I'd like to ask them not to, however.

I have only rarely referred to anyone as "sweetheart," and when I have, it's been a child, or a pt in a very vulnerable, hurt state, who is seeking reassurance and protection.

What's your opinion on this?

I feel the exact same way. Just last night I was at the grocery store, and a young clerk repeatedly addressed me "honey" and "sweetheart."

It seemed strange and a bit condescending.

[KJB_65]

I don't have a problem with it. I too am from the south and most of us don't mean it to be demeaning when we use the term. I try to refrain but it slips every now and then. I don't take it personally when someone calls me honey or sweetie. Most of the time it's just part of their vocabulary. I'd like to add that I yes sir and yes mam everybody especially if they are older than me. I work with a chaplain that always corrects me. I finally asked him to just deal with it. It's the way I was raised and he needs to not be offended. I won't quit saying it

[Larry in Florida]

I am in my forties, but a lot of people (such as waitresses, sales clerks, cashiers) call me "honey" and "sweetheart" all the time. I think this is fine, when the person is older than me, but I get annoyed when someone who is young enough to be my daughter calls me "honey." Males never call me by these names (with the exception of my husband!)

Occasionally, a subordinate at work will call me "honey. " I tell them immediately not to refer to me that way. But when a waitress does it, I let it go. I'd like to ask them not to, however.

I have only rarely referred to anyone as "sweetheart," and when I have, it's been a child, or a pt in a very vulnerable, hurt state, who is seeking reassurance and protection.

What's your opinion on this?

My,My My,

All the meanness in this world. If we all could just treat and talk to each other with a little bit of compassion and love without taking it as an affront. Call me honey any time; I have been called everything under the sun soo please , please call me honey!

Larry RN in Florida

[Multicollinearity, BSN, RN]

My,My My,

All the meanness in this world. If we all could just treat and talk to each other with a little bit of compassion and love without taking it as an affront. Call me honey any time; I have been called everything under the sun soo please , please call me honey!

Larry RN in Florida

I'm thinking this is regional. For example, if this happened in the South, I wouldn't be irritated because this is how people interact there. However, I guarantee the young grocery store clerk that I referred to in my post - she did not have the same motivation as someone in the South.

[CHATSDALE]

DEAR HEARTS it is definitely regional

however if you are in front of state inspectors you WILL NOT call anyone, patient, subordinate, superior by anything but mr/mrs/_______

i use the honey, darling without thinking about it..if someone says that they prefer not to be refered like that i have no problem with not using it. i have no interest in making someone uncomfortable..but there is no intent to put down

a nurse when she was charge would start report 'LISTEN UP, GIRLS'

i don't know who but someone filed a report that they were insulted but the word girls and she didn't use it again: shortly after we had a influx of males so it was just as well

intent is the real problem..if you don't like it and if it is someone you deal with regularly state your problem..if it is someone in a restaurant or grocery store let it slide

i am getting use to the miss dale business although i still believe it is for older people but there seems to be fewer and fewer people older than i am every year

someone cqn call you MRS JONES in such a demeaning tone and can say 'darling is there anything i can do to help?' in such a good tone

you darlings have a good day, you hear

[bigsyis]

It doesn't bother me one bit, unless it is said in a supercilious way.

[KJB_65]

My former NM cannot stand it when someone says "you guys." She told me that when she and her husband are out at a restaurant, if a waitress refers to them as "you guys" she witholds the tip.

Geez. That's a little harsh. How does she feel about "yall" Yall is as much a part of my language as the word "the" so if I was her waitress and I walked up and said "Do yall need anything" and she didn't leave me a tip for that reason......well that's just wrong....yall.

[Spidey's mom, ADN, BSN, RN]

DEAR HEARTS it is definitely regional

however if you are in front of state inspectors you WILL NOT call anyone, patient, subordinate, superior by anything but mr/mrs/_______

i use the honey, darling without thinking about it..if someone says that they prefer not to be refered like that i have no problem with not using it. i have no interest in making someone uncomfortable..but there is no intent to put down

a nurse when she was charge would start report 'LISTEN UP, GIRLS'

i don't know who but someone filed a report that they were insulted but the word girls and she didn't use it again: shortly after we had a influx of males so it was just as well

intent is the real problem..if you don't like it and if it is someone you deal with regularly state your problem..if it is someone in a restaurant or grocery store let it slide

i am getting use to the miss dale business although i still believe it is for older people but there seems to be fewer and fewer people older than i am every year

someone cqn call you MRS JONES in such a demeaning tone and can say 'darling is there anything i can do to help?' in such a good tone

you darlings have a good day, you hear

Dale . . .I always said I would just tell those darn pesky inspectors "honey, that's my granny in there and I'll call her sweetie if I wish". I'm related, by marriage, to almost every in this little valley.

As to "girls" . . .I mentioned this in the other thread on this topic so sorry if y'all heard it before but we had a nice, shy computer guy at work who would go by the nurses' station and say a sweet "Good Morning Girls". One picky supervisor heard that and wrote him up! :angryfire And she didn't even ask us if we minded . . .which we didn't. It was pretty heartless of her.

As to regional . . .California is full of folks from Oklahoma and Arkansas who came in the early part of last century. So, you hear a lot of "sweetie" and "honey" out here.

steph