I am in my forties, but a lot of people (such as waitresses, sales clerks, cashiers) call me "honey" and "sweetheart" all the time. I think this is fine, when the person is older than me, but I get annoyed when someone who is young enough to be my daughter calls me "honey." Males never call me by these names (with the exception of my husband!)
Occasionally, a subordinate at work will call me "honey. " I tell them immediately not to refer to me that way. But when a waitress does it, I let it go. I'd like to ask them not to, however.
I have only rarely referred to anyone as "sweetheart," and when I have, it's been a child, or a pt in a very vulnerable, hurt state, who is seeking reassurance and protection.
Although I do agree with the previous reply with using other terms, the term "darling" is sometimes used to make a person feel as if they're worthless...however, that depends on who's using it. Example, "I thought I walked you through this procedure yesterday, darling!"(as if the person is tired of dealing with you)
Geez. That's a little harsh. How does she feel about "yall" Yall is as much a part of my language as the word "the" so if I was her waitress and I walked up and said "Do yall need anything" and she didn't leave me a tip for that reason......well that's just wrong....yall.
She is from Texas. She uses "ya'll" constantly."
I've seen her actually go red in the face when someone says "you guys."
Specializes in home health, peds, case management.
seems to me to be a regional thing...
i talk to people all around the country...it's rare that anyone north of the mason dixon line has called me "honey" but i've gotten a lot of "hon's" and "dears" from those parts...doesn't bug me much one way or the other...most of the people i speak with are older than me...guess im just used to it...
personally, i address all my pts/members as mr/mrs/ms smith until they ask me otherwise....just the way i was raised (near chicago)
one thing that threw me off was the (mostly) southern use of "miss andi" that always gets a grin out of me...round here its only used for the preschoolers (albeit rarely)
Specializes in icu, er, transplant, case management, ps.
If it is an elderly patient calling me honey, I generally irnore him, for calling me honey, and see what he wants. If it is a male patient that is in control of all his senses, I generally respond "yes, sweetheart'. It is usually enought to get them to stop.
I have been called far worse than "honey". LOL. Doesn't bother me personally(usually) but I agree with those who think that the tone of voice and context really make a difference. There was this cranky old fart surgeon I worked with a few years ago that would call me "girlie". He did that to anyone female and younger than him, though. Would have loved to see the look on his face if I adressed him as Dr. Cranky Old Fart!
I don't mind the honey if its used nicely. I have taken care of a patient for a week who has called me 'Darlin'" all week and I thought that was nice.
I try not to call patients by endearments, unless they are scared, confused, or needing support. Then I am usually sitting with them with my arm around them and probably say honey or sweetheart to help soothe them. LOL's with dementia respond nicely to Sweetheart when helping get them to stay in bed or in the chair or get dressed etc. I think it just makes them feel comforted when they are not sure what is going on.
I also tend to call older pts Mr or Mrs unless otherwise directed, but I will ask if they prefer Mr/Mrs or first name.
Lots of time's I call patients "My friend" as in "Hey my friend! How are you feeling?"
I work in an aged care facility and I now call all the residents by either their first name or a shorterned version except for one lady who is the mother superiors mother and gets called ahma which is the chinese version of grandma.
I have no problem with being called most things so long as they aren't rude. I get kiddo (I'm the youngest full timer staff there), pet and di most the time.
jamessheridanjr
6 Posts
Although I do agree with the previous reply with using other terms, the term "darling" is sometimes used to make a person feel as if they're worthless...however, that depends on who's using it. Example, "I thought I walked you through this procedure yesterday, darling!"(as if the person is tired of dealing with you)