What do you think about people calling you "honey"?

Nurses General Nursing

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I am in my forties, but a lot of people (such as waitresses, sales clerks, cashiers) call me "honey" and "sweetheart" all the time. I think this is fine, when the person is older than me, but I get annoyed when someone who is young enough to be my daughter calls me "honey." Males never call me by these names (with the exception of my husband!)

Occasionally, a subordinate at work will call me "honey. " I tell them immediately not to refer to me that way. But when a waitress does it, I let it go. I'd like to ask them not to, however.

I have only rarely referred to anyone as "sweetheart," and when I have, it's been a child, or a pt in a very vulnerable, hurt state, who is seeking reassurance and protection.

What's your opinion on this?

you're kidding, right. maybe people should just call you . Now that might be something to complain about...or at least to wonder about!!

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Specializes in Med Surg, ER, OR.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Thats kind of disrespectful, don't you think.

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I don't care who it is or how old they are....I hate it! I think it's condescending. When the floor nurses call me "honey" (because I'm a nursing student) what it means is "I don't care enough to remember your name"- I'd rather be called "Hey you"

Geez, don't you think you're over-reacting? I work with old ladies, (county government), and get called honey all the time. Remembering your name doesn't mean they care, it means they're good at remembering names.

As to honey, it used to annoy me but doesn't really bother me any more as long as it's old ladies.

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Specializes in LTC, Med/Surg, Peds, ICU, Tele.

Maybe people who are from the South and use honey alot should have some cultural awareness that this is perceived as being condecending by those not familiar with this cultural tendency?

I'm not from the South and where I live it is rare to be called 'honey' by one's age peer or less. I find it grating, and when it's someone younger I think it's disrespectful. Where I live, honey and sweetie are reserved for those near and dear to us. Just an FYI to Southerners not familiar with other regional points of view. Try to be sensitive to other cultures and aware of how they perceive the world.

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Specializes in LPN.
If another RN calls me honey, I don't mind. They call all of us young girls "Katie" half the time, as there are so many on my unit. :lol2: But if a doc called me "honey", I'd flip my lid. I occasionally get people cranky because I call everyone "ma'am" and "sir", but to me that's just respectful.

I agree with the ma'm and sir, I wish they'd do the same! I think Honey is demeaning and in such an intimate setting as medicine, introduce yourself and let them know who you are and what you do! You deserve respect, too.

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I have to admit, I am from the South, born and raised, but I find it trully offensive when another person, who is not a close relative or friend, refers to me as "hon", "honey", "sweatheart", "sweetie" or any other form of endearment. I feel like it is an attempt to demean me as an adult woman. Many of the folks I work with and are friends with feel the same. This is doubly true when it comes from a subordinate or someone who is in a service position, ie server, waitstaff, bell person, etc...

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OK. I am a peds psych nurse. No one is ever excited to be coming in, but I treat my patients with the most compassion possible at that difficult time. Sometimes it's sweetie or honey.. It serves for reassurance and I have never had anyone object to me calling them a term of endearment (Though I did have a teenager break my balls about how much I do it.. I have 19 kids running around.. If someone is going past the nurse's station and I say, come here hon.. I need to grab them before they scamper off to the activity room..) I don't know, I'm 25.. I don't mind when people call me terms of endearment.. and I'm from Jersey (so it's not just everyone in the south or older nurses). Like someone said before, I would rather be called a term of endearment rather than some of the other names I have been called at work! Also, I would like to comment that I don't call people older than me these terms, and always address the parent by Ms., Mrs. or Mr.

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I also was taught you dont call patients or others those "endearing" terms.

They arent endearing they are patronizing. Unless you are my husband, mother or father it is NOT appropriate for people to call a patient or other person those names. If you look up patronize in the dictionary you will see if you arent trading with the person it means "to behave in a offensively condescending manner toward".

Please use your patients name when speaking with them. Unless they give you permission to call them "honey" or "dear".

I have to respectfully disagree. I don't think it is at all patronizing. It is a cultural/regional thing. I am never offended by being called honey. Nor do I feel patronized. It's a southern thing. Of course I live in the south and it is very commonplace around here. Nobody called me honey when I lived in Southern California, but they did make fun of my accent all the time.

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I'm bad with remembering names so use "Dear" alot with patients. Being 51 I can get away with it with both young and old. I have never had a negative reaction to using dear however numerous times I have been corrected when I've used Mrs with an elderly woman who is a Miss!

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I have to admit, I am from the South, born and raised, but I find it trully offensive when another person, who is not a close relative or friend, refers to me as "hon", "honey", "sweatheart", "sweetie" or any other form of endearment. I feel like it is an attempt to demean me as an adult woman. Many of the folks I work with and are friends with feel the same. This is doubly true when it comes from a subordinate or someone who is in a service position, ie server, waitstaff, bell person, etc...

My feelings exactly.

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Maybe people who are from the South and use honey alot should have some cultural awareness that this is perceived as being condecending by those not familiar with this cultural tendency?

I'm not from the South and where I live it is rare to be called 'honey' by one's age peer or less. I find it grating, and when it's someone younger I think it's disrespectful. Where I live, honey and sweetie are reserved for those near and dear to us. Just an FYI to Southerners not familiar with other regional points of view. Try to be sensitive to other cultures and aware of how they perceive the world.

(I added the bold to emphasize a particular part of jlsRN's post)

Thanks so much for this post.

Obviously, being called "honey" or "sweetheart" by those younger than us is seen as rude by many people.

I am suprised at some of the defensive reactions on this thread from some who do not understand why others would be offended.

An elderly pt is certainly welcome to call me "honey"

However, a teen-age grocery store clerk calling me "honey" is way out of line.

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Specializes in ER/Trauma.

My residents can call me Honey, or any variation of. I believe they are older than I and they all have my respect.

That being said...I worked with a very demeaning MD, who insisted on calling me "Hon" all the time. I was polite, I told her my name was Lori many times. Finally one day, I had it with her and the servant attitude I got from her and I said, "You don't know me well enough to call me 'Hon', only my husband does. My name is Lori, but I will also answer to nurse if you forget my name"

She never called me Hon again.

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