I now have been a nurse for 3 months and have 2 to share! :)
1.) The patients MAR said give 1 unit of insulin for every 30 above 150. The nurse called the Doctor for a sliding scale to be written out because doing the math was too hard............... ok.
2.) Another patients order was Ativan 2mg/cc 0.5cc q4.... she asked how many mg she was giving and if that equaled 1cc. When I explained to her that she only needed 0.5cc for 1mg she didn't believe me/understand me and I had to GO GET another nurse to explain to her I was right before she double dosed someone!
I can't possibly be the only nightshifter who has announced at 3am that she's going to make a coff a pottee instead of a pot of coffee? And I've done it more than once...sigh.
My stepdad was recently hospitalized and had a very kind, wonderful nurse who called everything a 'little' this or a 'little' that. As in, "Let's put your little head on this here pillow and get some rest" or "Now, Mr. X, your little IV is in your elbow, and every time you bend your little arm, it's going to beep and bother you all night, so try and keep your little arm straight as much as you can, alright now?"
Well, come time for him to use the urinal (bad nausea, and morphine on board to boot), she says, "Now, we're just going to put your little....er, I mean, let's try and get it in here so you can tinkle for me, okay?"
He is not easily offended and roared laughing, so my mother says...
It wasn't a nurse but a doc...one from Germany where I guess the nurses jump to do everything for the docs.. Well, he was going to use the 'sleep room', and asked who was going to 'make my bed up for me'. Well, it was night shift and we didn't have housekeeping/secretaries and very few nurses. I was busy with preterm twins and pointed to the clean laundry supply cart to him and said: ' there's the sheets- you get to make your own bed'. This doc's eyes bugged out sooooo far- he obviously thought he was above making his own bed.... He also verbalized how above he was to making a bed! The other nurse working in the nursery was laughing so hard she almost let her bladder loose! Hey Renee'- you know who this is....
I heard a nurse chatting away with her patient.........."Oh? YOu're lucky.....I don't have a green thimb at all.......I kill everything I touch" as she's performing am care......We all had a good laugh!
Taking care of a kid one day, I said similar to the mom, "I can kill anything!" Of course in reference to our conversation about house plants, but still not the best thing to say!
I was taking care of a patient who'd experienced a lot of hair loss r/t a post-transplant medicine. I'd been in and out of her room a lot during the day addressing various issues that had come up with her care. She was clearly exhausted from everything that had happened and I really wanted to give her some rest. So what do I say to her but, "Well, I'll get out of your hair and try to let you sleep."
Thankfully, she had a great sense of humor and thought it was hilarious but I felt completely ridiculous!
:yeah:
kessadawn, BSN, RN
300 Posts
I can't possibly be the only nightshifter who has announced at 3am that she's going to make a coff a pottee instead of a pot of coffee? And I've done it more than once...sigh.