What is the silliest thing you've heard a nurse say?

GHGoonette, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2011

We had an American doctor assisting one of our surgeons, and of course, the circulating nurses were eager to impress with their efficiency; all of them are Afrikaans speaking, although they can communicate in English. So, when gowning, the nurse assisting this doctor asked him, "What size hand shoes do you wear?" (Glove = handskoen, skoen translating directly as "shoe") Fifteen or so years later, we still laugh about that.

Our old hospital, like all old hospitals, had cockroach problems; huge things anything up to 3" long. One day in pre-op, a wide-awake patient spotted one of these leviathans scuttling around by the door, and pointed it out to me. Highly embarrassed, I blurted out, "Oh, that's not a cockroach, it's like a cockroach but another family..."

herowneulogy, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2011

Re: the OP's 2 accounts: I'm just glad that the nurses thought to ask/verify before actually giving the meds. Think of all those that do not obtain a second opinion or ask for help before administering high-risk drugs like insulin.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Jan 20, 2011

I heard a nurse chatting away with her patient.........."Oh? You're lucky.....I don't have a green thumb at all.......I kill everything I touch" as she's performing am care......We all had a good laugh!

flashpoint · Jan 20, 2011

I swear this is true..I had a senior level charge nurse ask me what MI stood for.. lol she obviously knew what an MI was, but for some reason wasn't familiar with that terminology. She was from Canada I think, perhaps they don't call it that up there?

I've seen MI used for mental illness in psych settings...I can see where the confusion might be. When I was in paramedic school, I was totally confused when I saw MI in patient's charts on the psych floor!

I once had a student in a CNA class (a pregnant 16 year old) inform me that she was not brought up to look at men's private parts and she dropped the class because of it.

We used to have a paging system that used "69" as the number to access the intercom. A nurse always used to say, "I'm going to give Dr. _____ a page." Well, one day she said "I'm going to give Dr. _____ a 69."

mediatix8 · Jan 20, 2011

Just remember the pointing fingers, when you are pointing a finger, there are more pointing back at you.

So true!

General E. Speaking, RN, RN · Jan 20, 2011

Not something I said but did..

I was emptying urine in the toilet. The pt had lots of visitors so I closed myself in their bathroom so they wouldn't have to listen to the whooosh of the flush. Then it happened. I knocked on the bathroom door to come out. :bugeyes:

"Come in?" someone said softly.

We all had a good laugh.

Guess twenty years worth of knocking on closed doors finally caught up w/ me.

flashpoint · Jan 20, 2011

Just remember the pointing fingers, when you are pointing a finger, there are more pointing back at you.

I've said some really stupid things myself!

Once, when responding to a car crash with EMS, dispatch informed us that one of the patients had been decapitated. I asked the other paramedic, "So, he is probably dead, right?"

I once documented that I found strong pedal pulses on a bilateral BKA patient. I mean popliteal pulses.

I have searched for pulses on a prosthetic foot.

I have asked another nurses to check a blood pressure for me because I couldn't hear it. The stethoscope was turned to the bell instead of the diaphragm.

I documented that a newborn had a "green metformin" stool.

We've all been there and we've all done that. Although I am not sure if it was the OP's intention, this could have been a really funny thread.

steelcityrn, RN · Jan 20, 2011

Why would anyone think I could help them? Thats probably the silliest thing I heard.

themurseman · Jan 20, 2011

Ill try to make this thread funny again. This happened to an experienced nurse that I work with. She always talks sweet to her pt's. For example, if she missed an iv or blood draw she might say, "your poor little hand." Not really my thing, but a lot of people do it. We had a pt who was on the upswing after being admitted with severe sepsis. He had a little ICU psychosis, he wasn't very old. She was performing cath care and accidentally pulled on his foley a little bit and she said, "your poor little member." That is too funny. I still give her grief over it!

General E. Speaking, RN, RN · Jan 20, 2011

While I was a nervous student in a doctors office clinical, the doctor used the otoscope to look inside the patients nose. Afterward, he gave me the scope so I could look myself. Not really knowing what I was looking for, I tried to be as "nursey" as possible and grabbed the scope and looked into his nares.

After I hand replaced the scope in the holder, I looked back at the patient and realized that the temporary black cone shield was still stuck in the patients nose. He was just sitting there with this black thing hanging out his nose.

Funny now, but I was mortified at the time. lol

NurseLoveJoy88, ASN, RN · Jan 20, 2011

In nursing school we were learning how to calculate the estimated date of delivery. Long story short: we were give the date of the LMP and we were to use nigael rule.... one student thought she had the answer and shouted" The EDD will be September 32nd. " I had to leave the class room from laughing so hard.

I'm sure I've said silly things too....

JDavis2009 · Jan 20, 2011

Just remember the pointing fingers, when you are pointing a finger, there are more pointing back at you.

OMG.. this is something my mom used to say to me and my sister when we'd get into arguments...haha..

I haven't heard this in a long time, but I would probably slap someone for saying it now :)