What was the MOST ridiculous thing a patient came to the ER for?

And did you have to treat them?

I am just curious. Your stories always seem to either crack me up or shake my head in amazement.

Thanks for sharing ?

Specializes in BLS, ACLS, CARDIAC, ER.

Sob for 1 year with a HD of COPD, nothing new just coming in 1 year later because he decided it was time to. Found nothing new. 

Here's a few I can remember from the last FEW WEEKS:

- "My girl is having problems getting pregnant and she said my member smells so I'm here to see if I have sperm problems"

- "I cut my finger while cutting onions"... had what looked like the most superficial paper cut I've ever seen, no blood, nothing... the doctor literally put a bandaid on it. She waited almost 3 hours since we were drowning.

- Every female patient who comes in complaining of something and then casually adds "oh and if we could check if I'm pregnant that would be good" (when in reality that's probably the real reason they came in)

- "I've been coughing for at least 6 years" (smokes a pack a day)

- "My jaw has been locked for over 24 hours" (asks for a sandwich within 30 mins of getting there)

- Guy put a LOCK (the ones you used for your high school locker) around his member.... forgot the code and couldn't get it off. Ended up needing surgery.

- Girl said she noticed a "few drops of blood" when she wiped after urinating. When asked her LMP, she said "it started yesterday"... UMMM..... ?????

On 6/16/2018 at 7:51 PM, alwayslookingnp said:

Sunburn

oh my GOD lmao, I've had 4 patients this week come in for "facial pain after being at the beach all day".... ARE YOU SERIOUS

Specializes in OMFS, Dentistry.
On 6/30/2004 at 9:22 AM, AB_NormalRN said:

16 yo male with a stubbed toe. Triaged and sat in the waiting room for 2 hours. He got angry and went home. Upon arrival at home he immediately called 911. EMS brought him back only to sit for 4 more hours. Thought that he would get back sooner. LOL!:rotfl:

I absolutely love those that still believe in the EMS myth. My medic husband loves it even more... ?

Specializes in 11 YRS ER RN, 6 YRS Travel RN, New Grad AG-ACNP.

I've been an ER nurse for over 12 years, worked at several hospitals across the country due to being a travel nurse. Some of the most memorable ones:

Pt comes in by ambulance. States he has a "funny taste" after eating something "my girlfriend cooked". Denies N/V/D. Denies abdominal pain. States to staff "My girlfriend watches SNAPPED. I would like to be tested for orificenic poisoning". 

Pt comes in by ambulance in the middle of the night. Chief complaint "abdominal pain after being assaulted". Pt claims that he was "walking minding my own business when I was ambushed by three big dudes and assaulted". Not a cut or scratch anywhere. Not a wrinkle in any clothing. Abdominal X-ray showed a "foreign object" in the rectum. Radiologist unable to determine "what it is". Went back to bedside and asked pt the "real story". He stuck with the assault story. We told the pt we are mandated to report to the police. He then tells the real story. He sat on a recliner chair handle. He had to go to surgery to have it removed.

Pt comes in by ambulance, chief complaint "prolonged erection". Pt admits to taking "too much viagra" due to erectile dysfunction. States he even "jacked off" and it was still erect. Also states he visited a "lady of the evening", went to sleep for four hours and it was still erect. States he became "scared" and called 911. He presents to the ER with a blanket covered over his private area. He had a female nurse (me) and a female ER doctor. We called urology (female doctor) and he had to get his member drained by female urologist. All females at the bedside. He kept apologizing. States "I will never do this *** again". 

Specializes in ER.

This isn't a "ridiculous reason" story, but its the most entertainment I have had a on Tuesday afternoon for ages, so I'm sharing.

 

I was working the triage front desk yesterday, and just after lunch I noticed an elderly lady slowly making her way in through the doors to the ER.

I went to greet her and see how I could help. It turned out that she had just been discharged from the floor, and there was some confusion over her ride home, so she had been hanging out in the transport lounge for a couple hours and now wanted a nurse to find out what was happening.

She was a sweet little old lady, bent over her walker, and shuffling slowly along. Several phone calls later I sorted out her ride. I found a wheelchair and took it to her, saying that I would take her back to the transport lounge as soon as I found another nurse to cover triage while I was gone.

All of a sudden there is a driveby dropoff of two GSWs, two cars swoop by and dump two barely alive gentlemen in the driveway outside the ER. 

As is standard here, we call cops in case there is still a 'situation' and we might get caught in crossfire when we go out to retrieve them.

(Yes it happens, the last lot of bullet holes in the front door just got painted over last week,)

So I'm focused on keeping people away from doors and windows, while preparing two carts to go out and scoop.

Then the cops arrive. Loads of them.

 

Somewhere in the midst of all this, grandma saw the cops approaching and took off. The sweet little old lady who could barely shuffle along with her walker suddenly stood up, threw her walker over her shoulder and bolted out of the door and down the street. Like Olympic sprinter style bolting.

She never came back.

 

I guess grandma got warrants.

?????

 

Specializes in ER/School/Rural Nursing/Health Department.

I had a lady come in-she couldn't stop moving and was crying hysterically.  Turns out she put four packs of pop rocks in her lady parts.  I asked her why and she said it was "supposed to be a treat for myself for my 40th birthday".  Took 3 L sterile flush to get them all out plus antibiotics. 

Specializes in OMFS, Dentistry.
21 minutes ago, RuralMOSchoolRN said:

I had a lady come in-she couldn't stop moving and was crying hysterically.  Turns out she put four packs of pop rocks in her lady parts.  I asked her why and she said it was "supposed to be a treat for myself for my 40th birthday".  Took 3 L sterile flush to get them all out plus antibiotics. 

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch

Specializes in Emergency Department.
On 1/19/2022 at 4:25 PM, RuralMOSchoolRN said:

I had a lady come in-she couldn't stop moving and was crying hysterically.  Turns out she put four packs of pop rocks in her lady parts.  I asked her why and she said it was "supposed to be a treat for myself for my 40th birthday".  Took 3 L sterile flush to get them all out plus antibiotics. 

Apparently, she's not the only one: there are multiple Reddit threads and several website articles dedicated to this brilliant idea. Thankfully, the articles denounce it. The Reddit threads...well, let's just say they display the dearth of sex education in our country. Also apparently a thing: chocolate sex toys. Holy Diflucan, Batman.

Specializes in ER.

I had a patient come to ER for a broken toenail from stubbing her toe. 

I had someone come in for hurt feelings. 

Just kidding but I wouldn't be surprised. 

Specializes in Emergency Room, CEN, TCRN.

"Pt states her boyfriend convinced her to 'eat his butthole' and has been having an itching sensation since 'maybe cause my boyfriends dirty or something.’ Pt did not wash face, came straight to ER. Pt also has a broken tooth she fears may be infected from boyfriends butthole. Pt got out of jail yesterday."

Specializes in OMFS, Dentistry.
gere7404 said:

"Pt states her boyfriend convinced her to 'eat his butthole' and has been having an itching sensation since 'maybe cause my boyfriends dirty or something.’ Pt did not wash face, came straight to ER. Pt also has a broken tooth she fears may be infected from boyfriends butthole. Pt got out of jail yesterday.”

I have no words.. yikes

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