What to do when you literally HATE your classmates?

Nursing Students General Students

Published

Hello! I just finished my 1st semester of nursing school (RN) and I can't tell you all how much I LOVE nursing. My classmates & instructors are a different story.

We take all of our exams on a computer, but there is a glitch in the program where the computer spontaneously changes your answers when you submit them. I've talked to all of my instructors about this and all they will say is, "We know the computers do it. You just have to be careful with your mouse!" It's been very disappointing to me that people who will preach ethics and integrity continue to use a system that is flawed and they KNOW it's flawed because they don't want to have to manually enter the grades into the computer. This system cost me a letter grade on my average this semester. I've actually come to accept this, but does anyone else think that it's wrong that they keep using a system that they know is costing students points?

I am going into nursing not for the paycheck or the little letters after my name. I'm going into nursing because I want to be out in the field, helping people who need it most. I want to work at a free clinic or a homeless shelter. A good 3/4 of my class is in it for the money and/or the respect that comes with being an RN. And I can NOT stand them. About 1/3 of the class signed up to do a charity race and 4 of them had an absolute FIT bc they couldn't be on the same team together. The reason their team had to be reorganized was so other people could do the 1st relay and go to work. One even went so far as to say, "They shouldn't have signed up for the da*n race!" The reason being on the same relay team was so important to them? They had bought pink tutus to wear. I'm sorry, but putting a tutu before someone's job tells me EXACTLY what kind of nurse you're goung to be--the kind I don't want anywhere near anyone I care about! Oh, and by the way, no one was ever told to organize their own teams. In fact, they were told NOT to so that work and family obligations could be taken care of first.

Others in the class are pretentious show offs, bragging about grades they didn't make, or constantly telling stories about what a horrible nurse some distant relative with some rare disease had. They monopolize everthing and the instructors seem to eat it up! I literally can not stand the people in that room. They have horrible, shallow, self serving attitudes and I have no idea how I'm going to survive 18 more months with them.

Did anyone else go through this? How did you get through clinicals with these people?

I won't give up because of the rotten attitudes of my class, but they are the reason that nurses get a bad rap for being ill-tempered, incompetent or just plain stupid. I've actually had people make fun of me because I go to a homeless camp once a month to bandage any wounds, bring them some supper & just generally check on their well-being.

Thanks for letting me vent! I appreciate it!

:) You're right. I don't necessarily HATE them as much as I wish they'd develop a new life plan and change majors, LOL! Although, the tutu bunch I could label as "strongly dislike" now :)

I was in the same boat as you. I disliked my classmates and dreaded going to clinical. I hated every minute of nursing school. I was consumed with dislike for most the students and instructors that I let it consume me and didn't want to study at all. I thought about changing majors that how badly I wanted out. The instructors favored the popular students that were cheating and gave me a hard time. I grew to loathe the nursing profession and didn't want to continue but then I realized I put in the work and time and I need to complete this program. Now I'm finishing online at my own pace and don't have to deal with all the classroom drama. Don't let others keep you from your goal. Stay focused on your studies. And pay no mind to the rest of the BS.

You don't have to be friends with everyone you work with; you just have to be able to work with them. If you get along with them/ are friends with them, that's just a bennie. I've tried to live by this since I joined the military years ago and would be so annoyed by many of my peers. This concept was greatly challenged in nursing school (much more so than it ever was in 8 yrs in the military). Especially by those with very, very questionable ethics, and the whining- oh God, the whining! The few people I became good friends with I actually have very little in common with, but we just got along. There was only one other mother- out of 40 students- and she lived far from me, and to be honest, just not my "type."

Group work was extremely painful at the beginning because we worked in assigned groups, but as school went on, we were actually able to pick who we worked with, to some extent, which really help. We knew each other's strengths and weaknesses and it made things flow so much better.

Also, it's great that you are not tied down to working for a salary, but for most people, that's just how it is, and it does seem like you are judging them d/t your "higher calling." I also enjoyed working with the homeless and am drawn to the ideology of community clinics, but for now, I work in a hospital, paying back my student loans and making sure my kids have everything they need (and a few things they want).

It was fairly easy to pick out those not worth my time and energy, and when at all possible, I just kept away from them. When I absolutely had to work with them, I was cordial, professional and made sure that an acceptable end result was obtained. Otherwise, they were really not on my radar.

Specializes in Pediatric Pulmonology and Allergy.

I guess I just lucked out. For the most part my classmates were mature and we all got along. The only classmate I ever had an issue with was one who was very domineering and liked to assign everyone jobs for group projects without getting input from the group. Nobody else seemed bothered by this -- they were either happy to have someone take charge or didn't want to make waves.

I guess when I say, "They're only doing it for the money" I don't mean that they're doing it because they have a family to support or anything like that. I think that's noble, too. The ones I'm talking about are the ones that just picked nursing because they could get a job fast & make more money and have no concern for people in general. I guess I'm naive, but I think nurses should care about something other than themselves. It's just their general attitudes that bother me at times. Like, for example, a bunch of us signed valentine's for kids in the hospital. It wasn't something the student nursing org or the school organized, it was just an idea some of us had. We bought the valentines, all they had to do was sign their first name to a couple & they wouldn't do it because there was no one to see that they did it. That sort of thing is what bugs me.

When I say I don't need the paycheck, I don't mean I'm rich, because I'm far from it. If we wanted to race out and buy a bigger house and newer cars, then I would need the paycheck. But, we live within my husband's salary & I can comfortably work a day or two a week prn for spending money, the kids' college fund, etc. We aren't planning on changing our lifestyle, so I'm fortunate that I can give back to those in need. I'm not really judging anyone, it was just a real eye opener that nurses could be so selfish and self involved. I guess I was just venting more than anything. Although, I do dread getting stuck in clinicals with about 6 (out of 50ish) of them. So, those numbers aren't too bad. I'll do like 0402 said and be professional, courteous, and polite and then come home and tell my husband what idiots they are (I'm joking!) I just mainly wondered if anyone else didn't just LOVE all their classmates & blowing off some end of semester steam!

Thanks for all the replies, I appreciate it!

Have a great Mother's Day!

Think about this as another learning adventure in nursing school, in which you are being tested on your patience with others and overcoming negative thoughts. Learning to overcome this will help you in dealing with others in your career as well. Face it, not all of your patients and coworkers are going to be amazing individuals either.

you sound like one of the students I would hate.

You will find a lot worse in the workplace than pink tutus. You need to learn how to deal with people like this because you will never be able to get away from all of them unless you find a job where you work alone.

Specializes in New Critical care NP, Critical care, Med-surg, LTC.

First semester I would have sympathized with you and while I wouldn't say "hate", I would have said I could understand your feelings. I'll be finished with my second semester next week and I would recommend that for your own well-being- ignore it and move on. I spent much of my time and energy last semester really aggravated by classmates, all the whining from students that complained about the workload, those that acted as if they already knew everything because they were a CNA or PCT, those that thought the nursing classes were so beneath them because they had a 4.0 and this stuff was too easy, and those that argued every answer they got wrong on every test because they were right and the teachers were wrong. Then, during break I realized that I had been spending time and energy being aggravated about something I can't change- how other people are- instead of spending that time focused on my education and goals. Let me tell you, it's made class this semester a hundred times easier. You may be completely justified in your feelings. You may be right about every one of them. The thing is, it doesn't matter because they're not you. If someone else wants to be an RN for the money? So what. If they're shallow, selfish, rude people? How does that affect you? I know it's not easy, but you're going to deal with people you don't like or respect for the rest of your career, but you're not going to change them and you're going to have to deal with it. I won't say that things work out in the end and people get what they deserve. I don't believe it. Cheaters will pass, money-grubbers will get paid, and whiny, selfish, lazy people will keep their jobs when hard working coworkers are let go. I can't do anything about anyone bu myself. So that's what I'm concerned with. I know it's not easy, but believe me, it's worth it. Good luck.

Specializes in psych,maternity, ltc, clinic.

I graduated almost 20 years ago and I was lucky....I dont think I had a single classmate or instructor that i didnt like. I went to an excellent 2 year program...was 32 yrs old when i started and was actually one of the younger ones. We were pretty mature group. Also, it was pre- computer testing etc.

I think one thing to consider is your level of maturity compared to those of your classmates. It makes a HUGE difference when you have "experienced life" compared to those who are just starting out. I have 2 Master's degrees and am starting an ADN program in a couple of weeks (that is another story...) I had to take A&P I and II--they were not required for my undergrad degree. I just finished A&P I which is a freshman level course. It was a big adjustment for me compared to the classroom experience of my Master's level programs. The students were much more needy and seeking the approval from the professor. They seemed rattled by the slightest change and didn't see the importance of learning the material. This is not just characteristic of the classroom, I have also experienced it in different "professional" arenas. There will always be someone who does just enough to get by, someone who cheats, someone who brags about everything they do, the complainer, etc. and then you have those that just do it. It takes all types to make up the world. Everyone is unique and we can all learn something from them, even if it is what not to do. Be careful being to hard on them...you may find yourself in a situation in which people become annoyed by you and perceive you as being arrogant and judgmental. I believe that you are venting, as we all become frustrated by the behaviors of others, but be careful in how that comes across to your peers. You never know what bridge you may have to cross again later.

Best wishes :)

Specializes in MedSurg, OR, Cardiac step down.

"You are never really angry for the reason you think" Eckhart Tolle

+ Add a Comment