What Is Your Most Gross, Yucky, Disgusting Nursing Horror Story?

Here is my most gross, yucky, disgusting nursing story! Nurses Humor Article


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Oh yeah! These are WAY nastier than my HIV patient smearing poo all over himself or the liver failure guy projectile vomiting blood. I am lucky!


67 Posts

I had a trauma patient in ICU for observation (he had a pneumothorax and lung contusions) who was so disgusting ... he defecated in his bed and just lay himself beside his "gift" and went right back to sleep! He spat everywhere on the floor, over the rail bed, in his pillow cover, even with Kleenex just at his hands because mister didn't like to spit in Kleenex!!! Personal hygiene? Don't even ask...

And YES he was oriented and supposedly intelligent....

As adrienurse said, what a wonderful job we have!!!



44 Posts

When I worked in a nursing home an elderly woman had diahhrroea, she did it all in the beed, it even had carrots in it!I went in to dress her in the morning and found her like it, totally naked and covered in faeces from her belly to her legs. I smell kept making me retch. Anyway I washed her down. I then left the smelly, dripping sheets in the laundry room (thinking the laundry person would do it, it was my second day and I didnt know any better). One of the senior carers told me I had to stand at the sink and scrub the dirty sheets which were covered in poo, which I did. Needless to say I only lasted 2 weeks there!!And now am training to be an RN in peds! (at least they dont do as much poo!)


1,326 Posts

A nice little old man in a wheelchair waved at one of my co-workers (a pretty little 18 year-old, fresh outta high school sugar and spice type of girl). He said "honey come over here please" as she bent down to talk to him. He moved the blanket covering his legs and SPLAT! he ejaculated right in her face and mouth. I never saw her again and thus my nursing career began...


Is anyone else replaying in their head that scene from "Silence of the Lambs".....


839 Posts


Originally posted by Dayray

I was a new CNA in the nursing home and feeling very proud of my first step in my chosen career.

A nice little old man in a wheelchair waved at one of my co-workers (a pretty little 18 year-old, fresh outta high school sugar and spice type of girl). He said "honey come over here please" as she bent down to talk to him. He moved the blanket covering his legs and SPLAT! he ejaculated right in her face and mouth. I never saw her again and thus my nursing career began...

obviously a porn star in his younger days...

Mine doesn't even compare to these, but I almost yakked none the less-

When I was a student nurse I had a patient, really nice guy in his 20s who unfortunately had suffered a CVA... needed assistance ambulating to the bathroom. He was having diarrhea, so I was helping him up quite frequently. It had been awhile since his last trip to the bathroom, so I went in and decided to see if he needed help. I asked him if he needed to go to the bathroom. He kind of gave me a blank look, stood himself up, stuck his hand in his butt crack and dug around, and then proceeded to stick that very hand on my shoulder!!!?

Thank God there was no noticeable poo on his hand, but it was still quite disgusting. Spent the rest of the day making sure not to touch that part of my uniform...

Oh goodness, I work in a geriatric psychiatric unit, and there are so many stories to tell... id have to narrow it down to these 2.

We had one very demented lady who used to hoard things in her clothing, and hair, and was constantly mumbling nonsense. Well, it was shower time and I noticed something coming from in between her legs. I got out some napkins,and a pencap. When I noticed there was more, I had to get my charge nurse. Now, keep in mind this is a very large older woman who was screaming and yelling the entire time. It took 3 of us to get the rest out ( 2 to hold her down, 1 to dig) We got a p-nut butter and jelly sandwich out of her vagina.Who knows how long it had been there, but it didn't smell pretty.

Another horror story was more from an ex-coworker than a patient. It was an older man who was schizophrenic, and had a bad case the poops. He had pooped all in his bed and attempted to clean himself up. He only managed to smear himself in feces and make an even bigger mess. I don't know what he was thinking, but he put everything he owned, and everything his roommate owned in the pile of feces. Then he placed the pile on his sleeping roommate. Thank God this roommate did not wake up. The man then ran across the hall and tried to hide next to a ladys bed. The woman came to our station and stated " There's a naked man on the floor next to my bed". Now, this woman had a new complaint every night, so we did not take her seriously. We told her there was no man, and to go back to bed. She insisted, so I went to look , and found our man who stated "Angelo had an accident."

Now, his roommate was not named Angelo, so we still had no clue what was going on. And then my ex-coworker emerged from the mans room with the steaming pile of clothes, magazines, bed linens, etc.etc. and dragged it down the hall. The smell was something I have never smelled before, and never want to. We cleaned the man up, and sent him to bed. But my ex-coworker... now any ordinary person would have probably just thrown the horribly dirtied linens away. But she had them in a sink, and was scrubbing them out with her bare hands. My charge nurse saw her doing this and came running to the desk. He then told me " Hey Kellie, why dont you go see if J. needs a hand?" I went to what he was talking about...and OMG! That's something we all laughed about for so long.

Originally posted by sunnygirl272

obviously a porn star in his younger days...

my thoughts exactly!!!


1,334 Posts

Specializes in NICU.

this is why I work NICU

This is why I sing hymnals on my way to work! "Please watch ova me Lawd! (hahahaha)"

My worst experiences had been while I was an EMT with the county contracted ambulance 911 provider. We often responded to county calls from protective services. the bay area has quite a few cities that are highly "elderly" populated.

We are called to a scene in which an elderly woman was reported with ALOC (Mayun...I hate to hear ALOC now! its a catch all!). We are told to enter fully gowned/universal precautions. Well, it was hot that day and at the time our company wore jumpsuits, so I declined to put one on. We get to the home, the inside was dimly lit and filed with books stacked to the ceiling, empty cans of food, trash thrown everywhere the books and empty cans weren't and styrophone cups with old coffee in them. You can imagine the stinch! Oh...did I mention roaches, flies, "lions and tigers and bears...oh my!!!?"

The woman was in the back of the house. It was a narrow walkway to her. We decide to sit-pic her a short distance to the guerney and get her outta there. The first attempt, I lost my footing and my knees hit her carpeted floor. "Splat"..I thought "awwww @#$!". It wasn't untill we got her loaded into the ambulance that I realized it was urine and a few roach body parts on my knees. A leg, an antenna. (Bare with me...I'm blanking out and sweating telling this even though that was eight years ago!)I asked her the typical "how are you feeling today?" She insisted she felt a little tired after coming home from teaching the children that day, as a roach climbed from under her wig to the back of her neck. I wonder if she noticed during

"recess" the petrified poo-log that was working its way up her back?

Our unit was down long enough for me to take off my jumpsuit, throw it in the dumpster and go home, swatting imaginary roaches that ran through the flashes of my mind! Our ambulance was out for a week to make sure it didn't become those critters new home!

(Imma faint now...bye!)

(english hospital funny story: sorry if you dont understand some of what im chatting about but you will get the jist)

This is one that happened in the resus area of the Accident and emergency department where i work. We had and blue call come in with a patient who had arrested. in the department cpr was continued and he was shocked several times and the cycle was caried out several times with people swapping around with cpr and shocking this went on for 20 mins when the medical registrar on call decide to shock the patient once again and try one more cycle before stopping. She was on call and had been in clinic she wasnt wearing scrubs or a Dr,s coat but a very nice trouser suit that and had just had her hair done that morning. any way she placed tha paddles on the patient and shocked him as she did so the patient as a reflex response ejaculated straight into her hair and over the side of her jacket.:D The funnist part of this was that she didnt actualy notice and carried on working on the patient and couldnt for the life of her understand why all the staff in there with her kept crying with laughter :D whilst still working and it wasnt until the end of the arrest that anybody told her what had happend where upon she sprinted to the toilet to clean herslef up and be sick lol :roll luckily she did see the funny side to this as she has been getting wound up about it by every Dr. in the place ever since it happened :roll:chuckle

hope u found it as funny as we did lol

Gee and I was thinking the lugee coughing this guy was doing this morning across the hall from my office was nasty.

Do other people find this stuff funny? It sure has made my morning better.

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